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i am isolating myself and my 19 months old baby to death

(24 Posts)
purpley Wed 04-Nov-15 21:53:37

hello every body i am 30 years old single mother of 1 i have had 10 years of hardship went through a lot i made so many mistakes. but right now i am worried of my situation because i am isolating myself and my child i don't have family or friends here i but i can skype them or call them but i dn't feel like doing it i feel tired all the time my body,bone, and muscles ache alot i feel fed up. and when they call me i dn't answer because i am tired or not in the mood months goes by like that and now i want to change my way of living but i dn't know where to start. help me

nameschangerer Wed 04-Nov-15 21:57:57

How far away are your friends and family. Maybe go visit them for a week. Then, make a routine to call them. Eg, every Monday you'll call your parents. Every Wednesday you'll call a brother or sister, and so on. this will help reconnect with them.

You sound stressed. Maybe visit a DR?

YesICanHearYouClemFandango Wed 04-Nov-15 21:58:02

I would start by making an appointment with your GP and telling them how you feel. You sound as if you might be depressed?

Kbear Wed 04-Nov-15 22:00:58

I would suggest starting with a walk out every day with your child - push the pram around the park for half an hour - talk to your daughter, show her the trees and the ducks or whatever. Being indoors and isolated is depressing and being outside, even if it's cold, makes you feel like you're part of the world and might be a start?

Stop off and have a coffee in a cafe on the way back or walk past a church and look for a toddler group you might like to join....

Kbear Wed 04-Nov-15 22:01:32

sorry, I said daughter..... you didn't say daughter lol

purpley Wed 04-Nov-15 22:04:14

i dn't have a partner i am divorced, my family are in Argentina very far from here i dn't money to pay ticket i started hating the phone when i was pregnant it give me headache and i still hate it before i was ok never had this problem

purpley Wed 04-Nov-15 22:05:44

it's a boy lol

purpley Wed 04-Nov-15 22:07:12

may Gp has no use they dn't help i spoke to so many Drs they dn't care

purpley Wed 04-Nov-15 22:08:34

hate going outside my body aches only go out for a food shopping only that's it

Wishfulmakeupping Wed 04-Nov-15 22:10:34

Please go back to doctors or speak to the health visitor if you can OP- just tell them what you've put here. Things can get better but you might need some support getting there.

fakenamefornow Wed 04-Nov-15 22:12:55

Do you see the Health Visitor? They will be able to put you in touch with play groups/activities you could take your son to. Do you work? If not maybe you could try to get a job for some adult company and put your son into childcare for a bit?

purpley Wed 04-Nov-15 22:13:30

thank you all i will talk my healthy visitor and the GP again i am disappointed in my GP

BastardGoDarkly Wed 04-Nov-15 22:14:46

Your body shouldn't ache that much all the time. You may have an underlying health condition?

You do sound very low though, try calling your mum, after lunch tomorrow or something? Before you settle down for the evening?

purpley Wed 04-Nov-15 22:15:46

no i dn't work he will start nursery when he turns 2 i will like to work so that i give out of this house but i dn't have someone to watch him for me

purpley Wed 04-Nov-15 22:21:20

i want to call my mum very night when i am going to bed i am thinking tomorrow i have to call my mum but during the day i forget.
i procrastinate alot i stay awake unti 3am every night it makes me tired in the day and the reason is it it's my only alone time from the baby

TheHouseOnTheLane Wed 04-Nov-15 22:30:22

You really must speak to the health visitor and ask to see a different GP...you don't have to accept the same doctor every time....it's ok to tell the reception that you want another one.

The way you feel isn't permanent but CAN be helped by a good doctor. flowers

Be kind to yourself...you've made the first step in asking for help here....and that shows you're strong.

Keep posting here so we can support you.

purpley Wed 04-Nov-15 22:32:38

thanks you much

purpley Wed 04-Nov-15 22:35:22

i thank all of you for your support. i would like to ask you if you hated something when your were pregnant did that ever happened to you?, like something you didn't hate before. in my case speaking on the phone

fakenamefornow Wed 04-Nov-15 22:36:04

Where do you live op? Do you live in a town/city with things you can walk to? I volunteered in a charity shop for a bit and could take me toddler in with me, she loved playing shop. What about play groups, how do you feel about going to those?

Kbear Wed 04-Nov-15 22:38:55

purpley - tomorrow go out, for ten minutes walking, I promise you will feel better. Staying indoors is so depressing. It might help you feel stronger emotionally to have achieved ten minutes walking outside which might lead to the next step. Walk to a new doctor's practice and make an appointment maybe? They will be able to point you in the direction of Surestart or similar which supports parents, lone or otherwise, and might help you.

fakenamefornow Wed 04-Nov-15 22:38:59

Going to bed now. You try to go to bed to sleep as well if you can op. Try to get yourself into a more normal sleep patten.

purpley Wed 04-Nov-15 22:44:38

i live in east london

YesICanHearYouClemFandango Wed 04-Nov-15 22:58:32

Yes purpley I had depression while I was pregnant (and prior to that, too, actually), and when I was depressed there were lots of things that I didn't enjoy doing any more. Socialising being one of them. I didn't leave the house much and I often didn't feel like talking to people. I also developed quite the anxiety disorder and began having panic attacks when I had to go somewhere or even make a phone call. I'm sorry your doctor wasn't helpful. Could you ask to see a different doctor? I hope you start to feel better soon.

Might you be deficient in vitamin D? That can make you feel tired and achey and low. If you have been avoiding going outside for a long time you could well have low vitamin D levels. Your GP could order a blood test for you to check. Are you eating well, generally? I didn't avoid the phone when pregnant, but I find I start avoiding people more in the second half of my monthly cycle as I feel tired and just want to be at home curled up. Has your GP checked you for chronic fatigue, anaemia, viramin D and B12 levels, hypothyroidism, fibromyalgia, etc? It's a hard job being an isolated mum. Be really kind to yourself. flowers

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