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Rubbish at small talk, help!

(13 Posts)
evaluciamargarita Wed 30-Sep-15 13:19:53

So this morning I dropped off DS1 at school and as I was heading back home with DS2 (3months) one of the moms appeared out of nowhere next to me and was like 'oh he's awake!' (Talking about ds2) and I was like 'yeaaah, he is'. What followed was a 10min conversation that felt like eternity! It was SO awkward I can't shake it off! How do you deal with the small talk at the school gates???

Iwantakitchen Wed 30-Sep-15 13:26:53

You sound nice. Don't worry too much they probably wont speak to you again.

I deal with it, personally, by having a positive attitude towards people who speak to me, listening and asking questions. Its quite simple.

evaluciamargarita Wed 30-Sep-15 14:01:51

Wow, thanks for that. What makes you think I don't have a positive attitude to other people? Did I write anything in my post that suggests that? I always make an effort but often end up leaving the conversation feeling awkward. I'm an introvert and can be quite socially awkward. And what I asked for was advice but you chose to judge me. So much for positive attitude, ey!

HumpheadWrasse Wed 30-Sep-15 14:10:27

WTAF Iwantakitchen? In what possible way was that nasty little response justified?

OP, I find it hard too. All I can say is smile, ask questions, and don't dwell on conversations after they've happened - you probably seemed far more awkward in your own head than you did to the other mum. Also, the more you force yourself to do the small talk thing, the easier it becomes. Supposedly.

bulletpoint Wed 30-Sep-15 14:23:05

I deal with it, personally, by having a positive attitude towards people who speak to me, listening and asking questions. Its quite simple.

[GRIN][GRIN] Oh the irony! <wipes tears of laughter away>

bulletpoint Wed 30-Sep-15 14:23:41


VulcanWoman Wed 30-Sep-15 14:47:12

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Dr Seuss.
If you can't think of anything to say, well it's ok to be quiet, more than ok in fact IMO.

PorcupineNecktie Thu 22-Oct-15 20:49:04

I'm a massive introvert too and I find small talk really difficult, but I've found it easier since I worked out how much people like talking about themselves wink

I usually ask lots of questions about them: "Oh, do you have DC?" "How old is yours?" "How's your day been" etc.

Once you can get them onto a subject that interest them it's usually OK I find. And then you might discover shared interests, and from there it gets a bit easier!

EvitaSociallyAwkward Thu 22-Oct-15 21:12:09

Thank you for your suggestions, I will try and persevere, I guess smile

Scarydinosaurs Thu 22-Oct-15 21:18:06

What a completely unnecessary first response!! Baffled by that.

Take your cues from the other person. Ask questions, smile and nod, it probably isn't as bad as you think. Let them do the talking!

When in doubt- talk about TV!

EvitaSociallyAwkward Thu 22-Oct-15 21:41:44

Lol talk about TV - love it!

Betrayedbutsurvived Thu 22-Oct-15 21:47:05

Loving the irony of the first response.

OP, I know how hard it is. I find the easiest thing is to turn everything round to them. So "oh, he's awake" Gets a response of, "yes, that's unusual, is yours a good sleeper" etc.

Other than that, smile, nod, and if in doubt turn the conversation towards great aunt Gladys piles that you need to go rub ointment on. That'll get rid of em grin

nicknameinerror Sun 25-Oct-15 20:52:11

Small talk is hard! I always feel I either have nothing to say or talk about something too serious/that the other person won't be interested in.

School gates are the worst. I work full time and do drop off once a week. I figure maybe the other person might be reaching out because they are stressed or lonely and that helps me stay and chat... because I imagine it is something they want or need, then I don't focus much on me or what I'm saying.

I often find myself talking about the weather!!!!grin

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