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Huge Fright

(23 Posts)
gscrym Fri 07-May-04 20:13:34

I feel like the worst mother in the world. I left DS downstairs in his vest while I went up to turn the taps off on the bath. He was sitting watching Finding Nemo. I finished getting his bath sorted and I thought it was a bit quiet. I came downstairs and feltsick when I saw the back door open. I had left my keys in it and he'd unlocked it. I ran outside where I found him being brought in my a lovely woman who said he had walked in front of her car. I burst into tears and have only just calmed down after crying hysterically for the last hour. DS has just kept telling me about the car and smiling. He keeps laughing at mummy for crying.
I can't believe he can unlock doors at his age. I just feel sick when I thinkk of what could have happened and also feel like I'm a completely unfit mother. How could I have been so stupid.

Tommy Fri 07-May-04 20:22:40

Lots of hugs gscym. I'm sure we've all done things like this. I read somewhere in a parenting book or something that we all get a couple of free ones - that was one of yours.
Please try not to dwell on it - DS is OK which is the main thing.

essbee Fri 07-May-04 20:23:25

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essbee Fri 07-May-04 20:23:45

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essbee Fri 07-May-04 20:24:29

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funkydiva Fri 07-May-04 20:24:50

I'm sure you are a very good mum, and I think you deserve a large glass of wine (or 4!) and lots of cuddles with your little man!!!

bootsmonkey Fri 07-May-04 20:25:40

There but for the grace....... we all have/will have something like this happen to us. I hope I am lucky too!! Don't beat yourself up. He's fine and none the worse for it.

littlemissbossy Fri 07-May-04 20:26:00

oh gscrym I feel for you one sunday morning when my ds was about 18 months, he got out, door left open for dog and the garden gate was open. It only takes a minute for them to disappear doesn't it? Luckily a neighbour spotted him and brought him back to the door. What made it worse is that she told us other people had walked past him, stood there in his pyjamas! We too were sooo upset, you feel like the worse parent in the world - but of course you're not. Try not to worry now, he's ok and you, like us, will take steps to make sure he never gets out again

Flip Fri 07-May-04 20:26:12

You can't watch them every second of everyday or else they'd never learn anything for themselves. This happened to one of my neighbours kids and I just remember hearing the screech of the car and looking out to see her little ds in the road in front of the car. I went rushing out and the woman in the car and my neighbour were both hysterical. It shook me up. But I got my free one with the dog. She ran out in front of a car and got knocked down. Luckily she was un hurt. But now I always lock the door and take the keys out and if the kids are in the garden the driveway gates are locked shut with a chain.

bootsmonkey Fri 07-May-04 20:26:37

ooh essbee - you beat me to it

maisystar Fri 07-May-04 20:27:46

i once told ds to stand still while i ran to postbox-looked up and down road-no cars, postbox was about 15 foot away.got to post box and a 4x4 FLEW down road, straight past ds. was actually physically sick i was so scared and so bl**dy angry with myself-even shaking thinking about it now.

point i was trying to make is we all do things we in retrospect shouldnt have but we learn from our mistakes. you are NOT a bad mother. give your little boy a huge hug and have a glass of wine try not to beat yourself up over it.

Flip Fri 07-May-04 20:30:20

I remember looking out of the window one tea time and seeing another one of my neighbours kids walking down the centre of the road. He's autistic and he was following the white line towards the main road. Several cars drove past him and pipped their horns which is what drew my attention but no one stopped. I remember going across to his house and telling his mother because the boy screamed when I approached him. She rushed out and dragged him off into the house. I think it really shook her up.

happycat Fri 07-May-04 20:36:13

There was a mum where I used to live and her toddler used to always get out the front do and was always being taken home by neighbours he must have been all of 3 years old.Now that was a bloody bad mother YOU ARE NOT A BAD MUM you will learn from it as we all do things like this I'm sure. I leave my keys in the door and thanks to your posting we both know different now.HUGS TO YOU

gscrym Fri 07-May-04 21:08:22

Esbee, DS is 21 months. He's obviously inherited something from DS who trained as a locksmith.

I wish I could have a glass of wine but unfortunately I can't drink. I get really ill if I do, even with one glass of wine. You may have noticed in another thread I'm allergic to chocolate as well.

Thanks for everything you've said. I'm glad I only have DS and the pooch to look after. She used to leg it at every oppportunity (she's half whippet - a little flabby but still quick) but now she's 7 and has decided that the furthest she'll go is to the garden or her bowl.

DS is now in his bed and sleeping like a little angel. I could have lost him. I'm off to watch friends and have loads of biscuits. At the moment I'd kill for cakes from a place in London called Valeries. Went there last year. They were fantastic.

gscrym Fri 07-May-04 21:08:55

I meant DH as locksmith

StripyMouse Fri 07-May-04 21:13:06

just seen this thread. Your poor thing, that sort of thing could easily happen to anyone because risks and possibilties are all part of real life. Please try not to let it haunt you any more, relax and let it go. Hope you all have a lovely weekend and can put it firmly where it belongs - in the past.

misty Fri 07-May-04 21:40:32

Oh my heart goes out to you! Ditto everything everyone else had said..... I've done a couple of things in the past like that:
1. Left upstairs bedroom window open, DS2 (2) climbs onto bed right next to it, and is *leaning* out - aghhhhh!
2. Left side gate open, DS2 (again!) playing happily in the back, I pop inside for a minute, suddenly hear DP shout 'Where's G?' and my stomach lurched - DS2 is off down the road. God knows where he would have got to if DP hadn't noticed.... felt awful.

My mum tells a good story about the time we visited my Nana who lived on the Birmingham New Road (very busy dual carriageway) and I (aged 2....wonder where DS2 gets it from? ) managed to get out the front gate. She remembers hearing cars screeching and horns blaring, looks out of the window and sees me, standing in the middle of the dual carriageway Needless to say I was ok

CountessDracula Fri 07-May-04 22:49:10

gscrym omg how frightening. Hope you are feeling a bit better now.

If it helps, here is patisserie valerie's website so you can drool over it and maybe order yourself a nice cake to be delivered

gscrym Fri 07-May-04 23:02:27

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you

suzywong Fri 07-May-04 23:08:10

gscrym
how terrifying, and so glad you are feeling better. I echo everyone on this thread that you are NOT a bad mummy and it could have happened to any of us.

CD that was such a generous thing to do. The man in PV in Compton street asked me out many many moons ago and churlishly I declined. What a fool, he was a bit wet but I could have eaten my weight in Palmiers many times over.

JanZ Mon 10-May-04 09:26:16

I "lost" ds when he was 18 months old. He'd literally only just learnt to walk.

I left the house at 6 in the morning and must have forgotten to shut the outside (storm) door - it was chucking it down. Ds watched dh have a shower at about 7 and then wandered off. Dh finished his shower and then looked for ds - couldn't find him ANYwhere. Looked downstairs, no, up stairs, no (our "main floor is the first floor and attic floor of a conversion), nowhere on the first floor. Dh then saw I'd left the outside door open, and wondered if ds had crawled through the inner door, where we had taken a pane of glass out for the cats. Couldn't see ds outside, went back upstairs. The thought he heard one of our cats outside, and though "siamese sound like babies crying, wonder if it's ds?". Went out side again and listened. Found ds on the OTHER side of the house next door, standing crying in the rain. From the state of his babygro, he HADN'T gone through the garden - he must have gone DOWN the driveway, along the pavement, and up the next driveway.

It's actually the route home from the childmidner's (the house on the OTHER side), so we think the little rugrat was just trying to "go home"!

Anyway, the number of people I told this story to (and the panic and delayed shock we both felt) who told me similar stories.......

You're NOT a bad mum!

Hulababy Mon 10-May-04 09:30:11

(((hugs))) gscrym. You poor thing. I lost DD temporarily in a shop around that age and felt terrible - posted on Mn all about it It really is horrible, but I think it does make us realise that it happens to all of us, and it kind of shakes us to realise what stage they are at and what they can now do.

Take some time to relax with a drink, and then go and enjoy your DS

bunnyrabbit Mon 10-May-04 11:53:00

Oh gscrym!

What a fright! As many of the others have said, these things happen. It was the first time, but I bet it won't be the last..... You are not a bad mummy and you must stop beating yourself up about it now! You're DS doesn't know anything is wrong and he is safe and sound which is the main thing.

You do deserve a large cream cake!

BR

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