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A community for parents...or is it?

(205 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

mumof2andlovingit Thu 18-Dec-14 09:20:32

as a new member, I was under the impression that this is a website community "by Parents, for Parents." I have been participating in a thread that is very heated and discovered that there are non parents commenting on here. Do you all think this is ok? It seems quite bizarre to me that someone is trolling through the site that isn't a parent. What would their motives be? I don't go onto sites for singles and comment. Although I have been single before so feel I could offer something if I wanted. But someone on this site, commenting about parenting things - and they aren't a parent themselves?? I am just curious about PARENTS opinions here. Please let me (and others) know what your opinion is on this matter. I am happy to listen and maybe there is a point I haven't thought of...thank you!

caravanista13 Thu 18-Dec-14 09:22:28

Aggressive posting is never acceptable but there are lots of people on here who are hoping to be parents and find this a very useful forum for advice.

Hakluyt Thu 18-Dec-14 09:23:18

Maybe they want to be parents? Maybe they are aunts or uncles or grandparents or godparents? Why does it matter?

mrscumberbatch Thu 18-Dec-14 09:24:02

Parents have a lot of the same views or questions as other humans.

AlpacaMyBags Thu 18-Dec-14 09:24:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GotToBeInItToWinIt Thu 18-Dec-14 09:25:51

But there are other forums on here other than parenting. Non parents can also be into camping, pets etc. I discovered mn when I was TTC. It took a year, so I was on here for a year whilst not being a parent. Was that unreasonable of me? If I have an issue I value the opinions of a variety of responders.

Dumpylump Thu 18-Dec-14 09:29:16

There are dozens and dozens of threads on here about subjects that are nothing to do with being a parent.
There are posters who work in childcare, social work, teaching etc. so from their experiences can offer advice on children despite not necessarily having any themselves.
There are other people who have lost children, or who are trying to conceive.
To offer up the sweeping generalisation that all of these different people are trolls is quite offensive to me actually.
I have two children by the way, so feel able to comment as I am a PARENT.

Sparklingbrook Thu 18-Dec-14 09:34:28

Their motives would be to join in with topics, and be part of this MN online community. They may be teachers/nannies/wanting to become parents. They may have loads of life experience they can share. People with hobbies etc.

They may even be fun, nice people. shock

What do you think their motives are OP? If you think someone is trolling report.

WhirlyTwirlySnowflakes Thu 18-Dec-14 09:35:45

Non parents aren't trolling the site! They are members just like you and me.

I'm not sure why you are so threatened by the idea. The old cliche 'it takes a village to raise a child' is true. Many, many non parents will interact with children and parents in their daily lives through their families, jobs, hobbies or volunteer work. They may be interested in gaining a greater understanding of the issues and challenges if raising children. They may want advice or support on how to deal with a child related issue.

Alternatively they may just enjoy Mumsnet for the myriad of non-child related threads and topics. Who know some of them may even be (gasp!) men!

Possibly you didn't mean it to be but your OP does come across quite rudely. If you are a new member to any kind of organisation it is rarely acceptable to walk in the door and start criticising. It is usually best to either observe for a bit to absorb some of the culture or quietly leave and find somewhere that suits you better.

You can't join and immediately say you think that a significant proportion of the members should be expelled. It's really very rude.

WhirlyTwirlySnowflakes Thu 18-Dec-14 09:37:27

Oh by the way, yes I am a parent (or even a PARENT as you (again rudely) put it.

Sparklingbrook Thu 18-Dec-14 09:38:43

What would the Education topics be like without teachers? I want to know what they think and it doesn't matter if they are a parent or not. Same with the Health topics. Are HCPs only allowed to comment if they are parents if someone is asking about a hysterectomy? confused

gamerchick Thu 18-Dec-14 09:39:03

There's something for everyone on here.. its a pretty big place OP.

VitalStollenFix Thu 18-Dec-14 09:39:57

Yes, it's absolutely fine. There are hundreds of topics here that have got bog all to do with being a parent.

Also, what about those people who are trying for a child. Or perhaps sadly lost a child.

Teacher. Childminder. other profession connected to children.

Or maybe just happened across the site and liked it?

I think it is good that everyone is welcome.

I have 2 children but very little of my posting has got anything to do with them.

Someone is not 'trolling across the site' simply because they don't have children.

If someone is being aggressive, then click the button marked 'report' at the side of their post and report them.

And you have no idea if those saying they have kids actually have them anyway. I say I have 2 children, but you have no way of knowing if that's true.

I think that everyone should be welcome and the only rule should be 'don't be a dick'.

Sparklingbrook Thu 18-Dec-14 09:42:07

What Vital said.

DustInTheWind Thu 18-Dec-14 09:42:20

Some people post on interesting subjects that are unrelated to parenting.
Some aren't parents yet, but hope to be.
Some are involved with children in other ways; education, nursing, relatives...
Some are step parents, or in a relationship with someone who has children.
There's hundreds of different reasons why the site isn't restricted to those who have children.
If it's not for you, then you could look for a site that's more exclusive rather than inclusive.

OTheHugeManatee Thu 18-Dec-14 09:44:12

Maybe they're ttc?

You sound rather angry, OP. hmm

elQuintoConyoIKNOWHIM Thu 18-Dec-14 09:46:38

There are people who came to MN via penis beaker <shudder> and stay for the doghous.

There are people who came after googling SWMNBN and found fellow Cumberbatch-loving loons fans.

I think there is something for everyone. Yes there be trolls, as other forums (fora? I do forget!). Yes, there be non-parents. Yes, there be men fshock Yes, there be arseholes as other forums-fora-fori-foureyes-whatever.

Welcome thanks

<avoid AIBU as long as you can!>

Sparklingbrook Thu 18-Dec-14 09:48:40

There are people that came to MN because they thought PenisBeaker was typical of the stuff that was discussed on here. It really isn't. <double shudder>

confusedandemployed Thu 18-Dec-14 09:49:07

Since becoming a parent my views haven't changed at all. About parenting or anything else, for that matter. I couldn't give a toss about someone's parental status. Trolls piss me off, mind.

DustInTheWind Thu 18-Dec-14 09:50:03

You could stay waway from the poitics threads OP. The israel/Palestinian debates have nothing to do with being a mummy after all.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Thu 18-Dec-14 10:00:31

How absurdly reductive to assume that because the site was created for parents only parents have something to offer to the many interesting and varied threads confused

I am a parent but I am not just a parent. Anyone who posts in good faith and within the ethos of the site is welcome here regardless of whether they have reproduced or not.

RowanMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 18-Dec-14 10:24:53


MN is a public site and we welcome all our lovely members <smiles graciously> whether they're parents or not.

Please don't accuse other members of trolling, mumof2andlovingit - troll-hunting like this on the board is against our Talk Guidelines. If you think someone is trolling (ie posting to mislead or being deliberately inflammatory) then please report it to us in the normal way and we will take a look.

mumof2andlovingit Thu 18-Dec-14 10:49:44

I don't understand why everyone is so aggressive towards me? I was asking for opinions and said maybe there was a point I wasn't thinking about...I haven't said to ban anyone. I was curious what people thought. Obviously there are certain topics I would hope experts in that area would comment on! But for someone to ask a question about say a kids birthday party and some random non parent was giving advice, I personally find it - odd. Yes if you are a party entertainer, advice would be welcome. But say you are a 50 year old with no kids, I would hope that was a conversation they weren't adding to. What's wrong with asking for opinions. You all said that's what this site is for correct?? So why am I not ok to ask - for opinions?

Admin - I never accused anyone of trolling!

Hakluyt Thu 18-Dec-14 10:52:07

"It seems quite bizarre to me that someone is trolling through the site that isn't a parent."

mrscumberbatch Thu 18-Dec-14 10:52:57

A 50 year old with no kids can still have been to/had numerous parties and can have creative and relevant ideas.

I don't know why you think parents are so different from the rest of the human race?

Why would you disregard somebody for the sole reason of not having children. It's very strange OP.

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