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Christ alive! How does it take 45 minutes to poo?!

(22 Posts)
froootbat Thu 30-Oct-14 13:08:59

I am sure DH has a secret door in our one bathroom. He will go up and be in the loo for at least half an hour, usually longer. I've often wondered if he falls down the toilet but apparently not, he seems to always exit the bathroom dry. Is 45 minutes an unreasonably long time to be in the loo especially without a book? He'll often do it 4 or 5 times in a day, I think perhaps I should be concerned about his bowels or the fact that he's actually just going I little adventures out of the window.
Is it a man thing?

ItsAllJollyGoood Thu 30-Oct-14 13:11:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoonToBeSix Thu 30-Oct-14 13:12:27

Yes it a man thing very annoying grin

gamerchick Thu 30-Oct-14 13:14:05

Is he doing it to get a bit space to himself?

I can understand the length but that many times a day?? So he could spend over 4 hours in the toilet every day... that isn't really normal.

froootbat Thu 30-Oct-14 13:15:28

It is odd, I've said to him if he wants time to himself go do something and I'll take care of DD it's not a real problem but it's just odd to spend that much time in the loo I think. I might try looking under the bath cover for a secret portal...

MrsLettuce Thu 30-Oct-14 13:16:55

The 45 minutes to poo does seem to generally be a 'man thing' (although I know a couple of women who do it too). I don't get why one would, but fine.

The 4 or 5 times a day thing is odd though. I'd be worried about his bum and/or if there;s maybe a reason he;s needing to retreat to the loo as a way to get a bit of personal space.

Have you spoken to him about it?

Selks Thu 30-Oct-14 13:19:22

He might not be pooing

froootbat Thu 30-Oct-14 13:20:13

I have and he's just having a poo apparently, how much can one man poo? I've even said in a bit concerned about how much he poos and asks if he needs a bit of personal space - he works from home so we are always together pretty much... I am incredibly irritating as well so, you know, I get it if he does need a little space from time to time. I just think it's a lot if it's more than once or twice a day and it takes that long.

froootbat Thu 30-Oct-14 13:21:00

Ha, selks good point, but still 45 minutes??

MrsLettuce Thu 30-Oct-14 13:22:55

How on earth does he get enough work hours in if he's in the loo 3 or 4 hours a day? confused

Orangeanddemons Thu 30-Oct-14 13:24:30

ThAt means he is spending 4 hours per day on there!

froootbat Thu 30-Oct-14 13:26:43

It does indeed... Or at least 2. That's a long time to be pooping perhaps he should see a doctor. That's what I think lettuce, though apparently it seems he does? Maybe it'll change when he's back in his office!

It's not a man thing it's a 'being an arse' thing.
Usually the person who does this is avoiding doing work/family stuff in the house. They choose pooing because it's hard to argue with. You could say 'DH' please could you stop reading a book and come and help me cook, but you can't say 'please can you stop pooing and come and help'.

SpookyGoingsOnOnTheLandscape Thu 30-Oct-14 13:33:43

Maybe he has other ways of entertaining himself in there, men don't always need a book to keep themselves occupied you know!

But 4 hours......he needs to find a new form of entertainment (or get better at it) or see a GP.

BalloonSlayer Thu 30-Oct-14 13:34:34

He is a secret agent like Perry the Platypus, and off saving the world in 45 mins. Remember the dodgy dossier? 45 for WMD to be deployed? Well so that's all your DH will need to avert global catastrophe. Obviously.

Start calling him Agent P(oo)

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams Thu 30-Oct-14 13:41:27

Ask him to leave his phone behind.

It's a man thing but that frequently, I'd be booking him in for a colonoscopy at the GP grin. A a minimum, slip some laxatives in his coffee grin

thenightsky Thu 30-Oct-14 14:12:51

Mine does this too. In fact, all men I've ever known have done this. DS has started doing it too.

When we were on holiday he disappeared after breakfast, lunch and dinner for about half an hour. 'just going to the toilet' he said. DS did the same.

We need to find these portals they are slipping through.

froootbat Thu 30-Oct-14 15:01:05

It's settled, I am clearly Mrs agent poo... That or he's really crap(heh) at 'entertaining' himself!

Joe3578 Sat 01-Nov-14 20:03:20

It's not just a man thing. My gf is the most leisurely pooer I have ever known smile

ScreamingSmegs Sat 01-Nov-14 20:08:03

It's pretty unhealthy if he's actively trying to poo for 45 minutes. He could end up with a prolapse.

I bet he's not though. If he has a smartphone he's probably on that.

Joe3578 Sat 01-Nov-14 20:09:22

Yes I think using smartphones/ipads etc on the loo is utterly gross. So many peeps do it these days.

froootbat Sat 01-Nov-14 20:27:41

You're pooing and then wiping and then using the same hands to touch your phone. Grim.

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