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DH asked how I would feel about sperm donation ...

(28 Posts)
kando Wed 20-Sep-06 17:58:45

I haven't really given it much serious thought as yet, as it came as a bit of a shock! What would you say/think if your DH/DP asked you about it?

CountessDracula Wed 20-Sep-06 17:59:20

The resulting children are allowed to come and find you now aren't they?

Not too chuffed i don't think!

NotAnOtter Wed 20-Sep-06 18:00:09

i would be very proud of him

HRHQueenOfQuotes Wed 20-Sep-06 18:00:58

Before the new changes which stopped anonymity (sp) I would have been perfectly happy for him to donate. But now I don't think I would.

TheBlonde Wed 20-Sep-06 18:01:50

I would be happy for my DH to do it

Overrun Wed 20-Sep-06 18:03:02

Probably couldn't handle it, which I feel a bit ashamed about, but thats my gut reaction.
Btw, its not so much the thought of his biological children running around out there, but more the thought of sibings to my children. What if, and a million to one chance I know, they meet in later life and fall in love. Is that a really daft thing to say?

TambaTheDragonSlayer Wed 20-Sep-06 18:04:52

I would also say no.

WeaselMum Wed 20-Sep-06 18:18:39

Just as an aside - my ds was born this year and his biological father is a sperm donor. When ds is 18 he will be given identifying details and can then decide whether or not he wants to try and meet the donor.

I would just like to say that this man, whoever he is, has made my family possible and made me extraordinarily happy. I wish there was a letterbox service where my dp and I could write and thank him but unfortunately there isn't. I am immensely grateful that he decided to donate.

Quootiepie Wed 20-Sep-06 18:20:33

id have to say no... DH having kids we'd never see running around the place? I couldnt handle not being able to see the kids etc.

misdee Wed 20-Sep-06 18:23:08

i'd be fine with it.

lockets Wed 20-Sep-06 18:24:15

Message withdrawn

TinyGang Wed 20-Sep-06 18:26:05

I wouldn't be okay with it at all.

NotAnOtter Wed 20-Sep-06 18:26:39

weaselmum

misdee Wed 20-Sep-06 18:27:40

is there any chance egg donors can be traced?

Gobbledigook Wed 20-Sep-06 18:33:14

I wouldn't be OK about it.

Not an issue for use though - the surgeon saw to that

WeaselMum Wed 20-Sep-06 18:38:12

misdee - I believe the situation is the same for egg donors as for sperm donors - you can be traced when any child born as a result of the treatment is 18.

I can totally understand those of you who say you wouldn't be able to handle it - but still really really glad some of would agree!!

breadandroses Wed 20-Sep-06 20:24:53

Oh no no no.
No logical reason,just gut reaction.
Possibly tied to the fact that I want another baby atm, and I'd hate to know that there was a half-sibling for dds who we had no contact with and were not allowed to see. It would play on my mind too much, iyswim.

shimmy21 Wed 20-Sep-06 20:33:14

I'd say fantastic. In fact just last week when it was on the news about how there are not enough sperm donors I tried to persuade dh that it would be a good idea. He was very unsure about the embarassment factor though.

Reasons - I know dh makes gorgeous intelligent beautiful babies.
I can't begin to imagine the pain of not being able to have children and we could make that happen for someone so easily.
I love the idea that although we can't have more children of our own (my age, finances etc) we could one day have a genetic son or daughter (to dh)turn up on our doorstep and have the possibility of getting to know them etc.

I can't see why anyone wouldn't want to myself.

3andnomore Wed 20-Sep-06 20:49:46

I think it's great...!
I would not hesitate to be a eggdonor (but wouldn't be taken as I have a cleft lip and palate), so, why would I be against my dh being a sperm donor...tis not as those couples that need a spermdonor to help their family along will hold you responsible...and fair enough if the child would like to meet the biological parent at a later time...indeed might be very important that they can...!

Toady Wed 20-Sep-06 21:27:12

Just had a conversation with DH about it, I would have no problem with DH doing this but if I was him I would not. Dont know if I could cope knowing that my biological child was out there somewhere

kando Thu 21-Sep-06 11:54:18

My head says it's a fantastic idea, but my heart, like some have said, says definately not. The idea - not of him having "other" children out there, but of our 3 dds having siblings they don't know about, just doesn't feel right. And now that they are able to trace the donor, I'm not sure if I could handle them turning up on our doorstep 20 or so years down the line. I feel very selfish for saying that.

I feel very proud of him for thinking about helping couples who can't have their own children. He did say that it wouldn't be "his child", but they would be his biologically, so although he wouldn't be their dad, he would still be their "father" in the biological sense. Sorry, this is all jumbled up but I just can't quite get my head around this!

ginmummy Thu 21-Sep-06 12:00:24

Kando - your reaction and thoughts are exactly the same as mine. Not sure I'd be comfortable knowing that in 18 years time ds could find out he has a technical half sibling. I think it's more the anonimity thing than the practical side of making more babies.

harrisey Thu 21-Sep-06 16:02:21

no, I wouldn't like it - but dh cant anyway (snipped) so not a problem.

LieselVonTrapp Thu 21-Sep-06 16:30:41

Im afraid I would have to say no. I no I shouldnt

Bucketsofdinosaurs Thu 21-Sep-06 16:56:41

First of all I'd ask him if he had got himself into debt (uusally the main reason men come up with this idea )
I'd really like my dh to do it as I'm planning to do egg donation soon and it would be nice if we both had an even chance of someone knocking at the door in 20yrs time. Just trying to pluck up courage to book the obligatory counselling appointment for us both as we speak.

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