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Worried about moving - am I oversensitive?

(11 Posts)
tatcity Mon 05-Apr-04 11:17:47

We are leaving London for Berkshire within the next month or so, i have 16 month old and 4 year old who goes to school nursery and is very settled. I really want to move but have this terrible nagging guilt that i'm dragging her away from her friends and she looks so happy when i drop her off and pick her up. I know you can't let these things cloud your decisions, but just makes me feel really sad. I am too sensitive anyway - I know we're doing the right thing in the long run but everything seems so overwhelming - so much to do etc.
Also does anyone know, do you have to wait until you are in your new address before you can physically apply for a school/nursery place?
Any comments greatly appreciated!

fisil Mon 05-Apr-04 11:22:48

No you don't have to wait. Friends of ours made a similar move recently and had to fight, but eventually got dd's name down for school and dss' names down for nursery.

And there is no such thing as "over sensitive". If you are feeling worried then that is a real feeling. You can be sensitive, yes, and you can be more sensitive than other people, but it is impossible to be over sensitive. (sorry, but I feel really strongly about that phrase!)

Fio2 Mon 05-Apr-04 11:23:37

No you are not being oversensitive, its a big thing. Of course you will worry about your dd, but you HAVE to move so there is no need making your self feel guilty about it. Children are very resilient and do adapt much better than adults. maybe a few months down the line you will be thinking what were you worrying about? I think you can apply for schools/nurseries if you have a specific area you will be moving to. Good Luck with your move

Nutcracker Mon 05-Apr-04 11:28:44

WE moved twice when my dd's were 2 1/2 and 6 mths and again when they were 3 1/2 and 18mths. Dd1 had to move playgroup twice and then start at a new nursery. I can honestly say that i don't think it bothered her one bit. Each time she started somewhere new i saked her if she wanted me to stay with her for the first session and she always said no, she wanted me to go.

It is perfectly reasonable to be worried about it though. Fio is right, a few months down the line you will probably wonder what you were worried about.
Good Luck

tatcity Mon 05-Apr-04 11:30:32

Thanks for that - you're both right. it just helps to have some feedback occasionally doesn't it - to check you're not going loopy!!!

tatcity Mon 05-Apr-04 11:32:15

thanks nutcracker. i'm sure that will be the case -
i need to be a bit more positive!

Goingcrazy Mon 05-Apr-04 14:17:42

We moved when my two DDs were 2yrs old and 4 months old and I felt exactly the same as you. In lots of ways, though, it's much easier moving when your children are little as there is a ready made nework for you. We've been here 7.5 years now (I can't believe it)and we've all made some great friends.

Good luck with the move - I'm sure it will go well.

tatcity Mon 05-Apr-04 20:13:45

Thanks Goingcrazy. Its nice to hear tales like that as i'm sure once i've moved i'll wonder why it took us so long. I'm actually feeling a lot better today anyway after seeing people's comments. The selling process is such a nightmare though, so many niggly problems - its driving me MAD!!!

jodee Mon 05-Apr-04 20:50:02

Hi Tatcity, I'm just arriving back in the land of the living (i.e. Mumsnet!) after moving from London to Bournemouth 9 days ago; understand totally where you are coming from - ds turned 4 the week before the move and I remember bursting into tears a number of times at the thought of taking him away from his fantastic nursery school and the handful of friends he met up with regularly. I could have waited until after the Easter hols to start him at his new pre-school but thought it better to start him immediately, so he started last Monday. I stayed for the whole session, but not because he wanted me to, I wanted to see what went on (it was completely different, much more structured (eg. he has to go off to the loo en masse rather than go when the need takes him!) and teachers like to be called "Mrs X" rather than by their Christian names, at his old nursery) - but he took to it immediately, and even stayed for two lunch sessions during the week (I think the structure will do him good, it will get him used to the idea of Reception in Sept).
Re. schools, we were planning on moving last Summer and so had a pre-school place arranged back then,which they held for us, but you will need proof of exchange of contracts (new address) before applying for a Reception place (the closing date in Bournemouth was January so we are well outside that date, unfortunately).
All the very best with the move - it's stressful but you won't regret it.

tatcity Tue 06-Apr-04 14:35:06

Jodee - thanks for that. So you've come out the other end in one piece! I thought i was going mad when i felt like crying about moving her - but its obviously just a natural reaction! Sounds great, i'm glad he's settled in. It probably feels quite normal for you to be there now - good luck with settling in.

grumpyzebra Tue 06-Apr-04 18:07:39

We moved a few months ago, my eldest is also 4yo. Apply for schools/playgroup as soon as you're there. You can use childcare link to look up playgroups/nurseries online. I was very worried about it, too, but it's been alright; not perfectly smooth, but DS only moaned occasionally for the first month or so.

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