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Do we send a card, get in touch or leave them alone??

(13 Posts)
Twinkie Thu 01-Apr-04 15:30:47

Its so terrible and heartbreaking that these things happen - I have just heard that a work colleague of DP (and an old work colleague of mine as I used to work with him) and his girlfriend (who happens to be an x girlfriend of DP) lost their baby at full term last week - I feel so utterly sad for them and am sitting here crying - they were such nice people - she must have been for DP to go out with her and he was just the nicest guy you could meet - the baby wasn't planned but they were both really chuffed apparently - DP would like to send them a card ro do something so they know we are thinknig of them - it could be a bit awkward as he and this girl did not have anything to do with each other after they split but we both think we would like them to know that we are at least thinking about them - do you think it would be bad form and would it be better to leave it or do you think that they would appreciate something??

neetsmassi Thu 01-Apr-04 15:32:25

How awful for them. I am sure they would appreciate a card or a note. My heart goes out to them - made me cry just reading your post

CountessDracula Thu 01-Apr-04 15:34:25

I would send a card and/or call (depending on how well you know them). This happened to my Mum and Dad (with my elder brother) and they said it was nice to know people were thinking of them

Marina Thu 01-Apr-04 15:37:06

Agree, send a card Twinkie. I know it will be appreciated. Very sad news, I'm so sorry for them.

motherinferior Thu 01-Apr-04 15:38:20

Do send a card. How very very very horrible.

SenoraPostrophe Thu 01-Apr-04 15:38:46

I always worry about this in that kind of situation. In the end I usually send a card because I cannot think of a situation in which a card would make things *worse*. It may not help, but I think it's always worth letting people know you are thinking of them, whatever the history.

Thomcat Thu 01-Apr-04 15:43:25

How terribly, terribly sad. I think send a card.

Sonnet Thu 01-Apr-04 16:02:44

I would send a card too - what sad sad news

Twinkie Thu 01-Apr-04 16:04:27

Thanks everyone - I think I will leave early and get a card on the way home - she was actually in labour when they found out - I can't think how they must be feeling at the moment truely truely awful.

juniper68 Thu 01-Apr-04 16:08:27

You're doing the right thing Twinkie. It's awful when people ignore you because they feel uncomfortable.
It's good to hear there are caring people like u and your DP in the world x

Marina Thu 01-Apr-04 16:10:43

Twinkie, hopefully the hospital will put them in touch with SANDS. This must be extra distressing for you given your own pregnancy.

hmb Thu 01-Apr-04 16:13:43

I was in a similar position as someone I knew lost a baby through a cot death. I sent a card. Later she said how much she appreciated it.

how very sad

Twinkie Thu 01-Apr-04 16:15:42

I'm going to get a card now and will write a little note and mention Sands I have copied down their contact detaisl - I hope that eases the pain a little - god knows if anything will.

Thanks everyone. XXX

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