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Child sex offender

(291 Posts)
okeydonkey Mon 07-Jul-14 11:53:04

I can't believe Im actually writing this. I found out my sister, who has two children from previous relationship, has been seeing a man who is on the child sex offenders register. He was caught downloading child porn on a work computer. My sister is saying there's a fine line and he didn't know the girls were under age. I'm sickened. AIBU to feel like she's trying to pull wool over my eyes. As he's done so with her.

inlawsareasses Mon 07-Jul-14 12:01:03

I think alerting social care to this information is the most sensible thing to do. It is a known fact that re offenders of child sexual abuse will often groom the parents first.
I'd find your sister minimising his offence very worrying especially as a court has found it necessary to put his name on the sex offenders register.

gamerchick Mon 07-Jul-14 12:05:59

Unfortunately your responsibility is to her kids. Ring up your police station for advice on how to proceed and let their dad know the score if he's still in their lives.

He will tell her any old crap and she'll want to believe him.

Birdsgottafly Mon 07-Jul-14 12:06:07

You can contact the Police and inform them that he is a relationship with someone who has children.

I agree that offenders often target women with families, it gives them a trusted standing, which then gives them access to children in every way, even in FB etc.

She should of found out the nature if his offences from a realisable source and is letting her children and everyone else down by not doing so.

The Sex Offenders register exists for a good reason.

Cookiechef Mon 07-Jul-14 12:06:55

My sis in law dated a man on the sex offenders register, he lied and down played what he had did.
His mum was the one to alert social services who came out to her and told her the whole truth and that he isn't aloud contact with any child so she told him to stay away from her for good.
She had now found an amazing guy who is now living with her, I hope that your sisters dp has told her the truth but if not I would play on the safe side and alert social services.

Birdsgottafly Mon 07-Jul-14 12:07:04

You do also need to speak to her, honestly, she is about to lose friends and so are her children.

NigellasDealer Mon 07-Jul-14 12:09:20

I would contact SS straight away tbh

I agree with gamerchick.

Birdsgottafly Mon 07-Jul-14 12:10:33

Don't want to harp on, but had your Sis asked him why he needed to use the Work computer to download his porn?

It's a common tactic, offenders think that they will get a lesser sentence if they use a shared computer because there is less certainty who downloaded it.

Has he had treatment for his "safe" porn problem?

It's bullshit.

weatherall Mon 07-Jul-14 12:13:48

These men often groom the mothers of potential victims. They are very apt at appearing innocent.
Don't blame your DSIS, she is a potential victim too.

Inform her local social work department. They will go out and visit her and explain her duty to protect her DCs from him. If she dismisses the risk, denies the relationship or refuses to co operate she may find herself subject to child protection procedures.

She may see you as betraying you and cut contact but you don't really have a choice sad.

BuzzardBird Mon 07-Jul-14 12:14:29

Report him before anything nasty happens. You cannot 'accidently' download children being abused. (There is no such thing as 'child porn' as they cannot instigate it). He will have searched exactly for what he was after. Your sister needs telling but the Police and SS need telling first.

OurMiracle1106 Mon 07-Jul-14 12:23:07

Police need to be notified. He is most probably not allowed contact with children under the age of 16 especially not unsupervised.

Social services also need alerting as if your sister isn't prepared to protect her children they will need to.

NigellasDealer Mon 07-Jul-14 12:26:23

i thnk you should tell your sister that SS will consider her to have failed to protect her children and is in very real danger of losing them - what for ? the sake of a good fuckiing?

HermioneWeasley Mon 07-Jul-14 12:29:56

Call police and social services now and offer to have her kids if that's what it takes to keep them safe

OurMiracle1106 Mon 07-Jul-14 12:35:52

Social services or the police will most certainly get a 72 hour protection order especially if he has been staying overnight/living with them.

NigellasDealer Mon 07-Jul-14 12:36:45

perhaps you should offer to take the kids first? this could really spiral and she could lose them for good.

Bluebelljumpsoverthemoon Mon 07-Jul-14 12:37:18

Call the police and social services. I'd also tell her what a terrible mother she is by bringing a child sex offender into her home and it'll be as much her fault as his if he abuses them because she willingly handed them over to a man she knows to be a sick pervert, actually more her fault given that as their mother she's supposed to be responsible for them.

This stupid, selfish woman needs to hear that loving parents don't expose their children to abuse, that her actions are unloving and hear strong criticism and harsh judgement for doing so.

Gruntfuttock Mon 07-Jul-14 13:41:46

That a mother is knowingly exposing her children to such an appalling risk is deeply shocking. I can only agree with all the other posters that you must report to the police and social services a.s.a.p.

salsmum Mon 07-Jul-14 13:57:05

I thought I heard somewhere that you can check with the police via a phone call if you suspect a new partner is a child abuser...maybe the police on this occasion can give more background info on him....maybe the police station that he has to go to to sign in every week will be able to let you know as a family member ??????

Monstermakeup Mon 07-Jul-14 13:57:42

As ever on threads like this it's worth not to over share personal experiences. sad

BuzzardBird Mon 07-Jul-14 15:06:47

Quite Monster

okeydonkey Mon 07-Jul-14 15:50:02

Thank you for your replies. She's saying now that he won't reoffend and a police officer can come and see me to explain. Also he's allowed to be around children.
I'm so shocked!
I've phoned a help line called Stop it. For help with the issue. I talked to them for half hour. They said I can call again if I ever need advice surrounding it all

MrsWombat Mon 07-Jul-14 15:58:52

He/she might just be saying that about the police visiting as a bluff to get you off their case. Please call the police/social services yourself.

gamerchick Mon 07-Jul-14 16:07:43

Call her bluff.

SquigglySquid Mon 07-Jul-14 16:10:36

Good, have the police talk to you about it then and explain why a pedo is allowed near children. That should be an interesting conversation.

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