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People with more than 2 kids FIT INTO ONE OF THESE CATEGORIES ....

(51 Posts)
morningpaper Fri 02-Jun-06 10:45:06

This is the Hat Woman's theory - please can we discuss further? Apologies for paraphrasing and blatantly making a new thread for your theory.

1. You leave them to the nanny whilst earning loads of moolah.

2. You already have so much money that you don't need to work and can afford "help".

3. You are a full-time dedicated mother.

4. You are wildly stressed.

I would add:

5. You have close family with other children/parents who can support you.

Hatwoman continues: "In all of these cases the roles are fixed; everyone (mum, dad, nanny, au pair, cleaner) knows what they have to do - it stays the same, no-one flits from one role to another, everyone has their bit to do and gets on with it. I just can't see how you can fit 3 or 4 kids into a juggling / waivering scenario."

I think this is a very intersting theory - so, IS IT TRUE? What do we think?

Bagpuss30 Fri 02-Jun-06 10:51:04

Yes, I am number 3.

Angeliz Fri 02-Jun-06 10:52:49

I am having a third and i'd be number 3.
Probably also number 4

Enid Fri 02-Jun-06 10:53:25

I am none of them

(i have 3)

suzywong Fri 02-Jun-06 10:54:50

so what are you then enid? do you need your own category?

Enid Fri 02-Jun-06 10:55:08

I juggle

morningpaper Fri 02-Jun-06 10:55:29

Yes Enid confess

If there is A Third Way then thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat will be flushing her pills away and embracing baby No. 3


Securlurking Fri 02-Jun-06 10:55:43

Nope sorry! I am none of the above!

1) No money
2) No money
3) No money (so have to work)
4) Love every second of it

5) Nope - have some family but not supportive in terms of looking after kids or coming round with wine etc

Fixed roles, no chance, I am Mum, Dad, Nanny, Au Pair and Cleaner - in fact I am surprised that I don't have a collection of different hats to pop on so the kids know when to ask me what (ie mummy question, chaufer question etc)

Maybe I am just unique? PMSL

Securlurking Fri 02-Jun-06 10:56:23

Oh sorry - I have 4 in case anyone needs reminding

juuule Fri 02-Jun-06 10:56:28

I'm mostly no.3 and occassionally no.4.

Enid Fri 02-Jun-06 10:58:04

I work part time

we have very little disposable income but we are comfortable (eg dont struggle over bills/mortgage)

dd3 is my luxury rather than holidays/expensive clothes

its not rocket science - you make it work if you have to

tortoiseshell Fri 02-Jun-06 11:01:31

I'm 3 and 4. I would be 3, but dh has such long hours that I become 4 quite quickly. Also do a bit of juggling like enid, but am self employed and work from home, so am working and looking after kids at the same time which can be interesting!

stitch Fri 02-Jun-06 11:05:53

i think it is true, or else the mom, or whoever is the manager goes completely mad.

6 you are completely useless mother, who pops them out on a regular basis, feeds them when she remembers, and the kids stay alive by the grace of god, and their own wits

Securlurking Fri 02-Jun-06 11:06:28

TBH, I don't see how you can have over two children and not juggle - it seems to me that to be succesful you have to be able to change hats anytime and multitask in the most increadible ways - unless you can afford a nanny cleaner and chaufer in which case I don't really see the point in have the kids in the first place (no offense meant to those who do that BTW!)

I think the beauty of children and being a parent is the constant variation and changing roles required.

Bagpuss30 Fri 02-Jun-06 11:06:39

Actually, I think I'm so much number 3 as dh said last night that if we were to have a fourth child it would be one more for me to deal with and almost no extra work for him . We never really deviate from our roles so I suppost hat woman is right really.

Securlurking Fri 02-Jun-06 11:07:12

oh sorry stitch - that must be me then (and you are not alone in thinking that)

sugarfree Fri 02-Jun-06 11:17:01

I have 3 boys.
1) No nanny.
2)No 'help'.
3)I work part time.
4)Not wildly,mildly maybe.
5)Nearest family 3 hours away.

Sorry to disprove theory.

JanH Fri 02-Jun-06 11:26:11

I was number 3 (though wouldn't say dedicated) plus number 4 and number 5.

Now they are all old, none of the above

Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads Fri 02-Jun-06 11:30:21

When I have all three alone I am 4, but anyone with my 3 alone is 4 (can;t go out, can't even get to the car from the front door safely, lurch from one mess ot the next). In 2 years time when ds3 is 3 and a half and ds2 is 7 and a half I don't expect to be wildly stressed quite so often.

I am not rich, but social services provide us with money to buy in help. When my helpers are here I am just busy, but not especiailly stressed.

I do bits and pieces of work, but cannot access after shcool care or holiday care for my eldest son so have to juggle that bit.

Dh works long hours, but tends to be wildly stressed when home!

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat Fri 02-Jun-06 12:13:07

ok sugarfree and enid, can I ask you to expound a bit on your work? how important is it to you? btw some of our closest friends with 3 kids fail to fit in to those categories. they have a nanny, and they're comfortably well off, but the mum works p-t and isn't a madly career-driven type and they're not rolling in it. I have another friend who is very much 1. she has a seriously serious job and doesn't even take maternity leave when she pops them out; I have another friend with 4th on the way who fits into 3/4; and another with 3 who's (reluctantly, I think) also in 3/4.

Nightynight Fri 02-Jun-06 12:17:27

I think you forgot single mothers, who leave their children with a nanny while out earning loads, and then come home and have to be mummy and daddy and cleaner and nanny.

Securlurking Fri 02-Jun-06 12:18:52

Well, I work part time - because I have to for the money, however, also because I haev to to get out of the house - otherwise I would be a 4 lol!

sugarfree Fri 02-Jun-06 12:19:34

I work every other weekend,in a job I trained years for.I do it for my own satisfaction ,the money covers personal expenses only,really.

Enid Fri 02-Jun-06 12:21:39

My work keeps me sane and allows me to indulge my kids with toys and nice clothes every now and again. Yes it is important to me, very. Otherwise I wouldn't bother as I get about £2 an hour after childcare

Tortington Fri 02-Jun-06 12:22:42

well excuse the shit out of me - i am a full time dedicated mother. i happen to work as i have no choice. seriously stressed. and have in the past not recently but in the past had help from extended family.

so add a number 6 for the awkward twats like me

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