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If you were to write a book about parenting/children/babies, what subjects would you cover?

(28 Posts)
YellowFeathers Mon 22-May-06 19:15:11

And why?

Would it be
pregnancy, childbirth, feeding, weaning, parenting?

lacrimosa Mon 22-May-06 19:16:58

Idealism, and the fact that it is alright to still be idealistic even after your ideas have gone to pot for a while!

YellowFeathers Mon 22-May-06 19:20:46

Pruni Mon 22-May-06 19:22:33

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intergalacticwalrus Mon 22-May-06 19:23:07

I'd have a chapter on how it's ok to have a glass of wine in the afternoon when the little buggers have run your ragged all day.

I'd also have a section on inferiority/superiority, as we all feel both of those a different times, like "How come x can work FT, have well mannered well turned out children and still fit in time to go to the gym and be immaculate at all times" or "Gosh, I'd never give my children Froot Shoots, or let them watch TV all day"

Actaully, I'd also have a chapter on the joys of CBeebies. How did our parents cope without it?

YellowFeathers Mon 22-May-06 19:25:36

lol at Cbeebies!

Sounds good Pruni. Don't think there is anything like that.

intergalacticwalrus Mon 22-May-06 19:31:54

I'd also include a warning at the beginning to take with a pinch of salt anything any other mothers tell you, as they are probably lying. I think this is especially true of mums with tiny babies.

Mercy Mon 22-May-06 19:36:02

I would write a chapter called something like 'More than one child' ie, it's not twice the work it's about 10 times the work.

I'd also do a chapter for fathers - I can feel my blood pressure rising already!

Sorry not having a good day, this could open a whole can of worms for me.

But a very good idea for a thread btw

YellowFeathers Mon 22-May-06 19:36:10

Yes very true.

Tbh I was thinking back to when I started weaning dd and remember that I cold never find a book that just gave you a basic outline of what to do. They were all full of opinions and do this do that.
All I wanted was to know what foods I could/couldn't give and when and some basic recipes.

Mercy Mon 22-May-06 19:36:50

interglactic - absolutely agree!

YellowFeathers Mon 22-May-06 19:37:04

Mercy, I think my dh would benefit from that one

Pruni Mon 22-May-06 19:49:34

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Pruni Mon 22-May-06 19:50:56

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Pruni Mon 22-May-06 19:51:24

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intergalacticwalrus Mon 22-May-06 19:52:36

YellowFeathers Mon 22-May-06 19:53:34


sansouci Mon 22-May-06 19:53:35

How about a chapter on ignoring the broody feeling after the last baby hits 3? Or when you see someone else's newborn?

intergalacticwalrus Mon 22-May-06 19:54:56

Or how to calm yourself down when you get the red mist when you see a NON PARENT in a Parent and Child space at the supermarket.

YellowFeathers Mon 22-May-06 19:57:27

Oh god inter

if I wrote about parent and child spaces,it would be in the guiness book of world records for the biggest book ever!

ScummyMummy Mon 22-May-06 19:59:37

My parenting story: The early years

Ch 1: The unplanned aliens land and they are male.

Ch 2: They become gifted and talented at screaming, biting and giggling inanely.

Ch 3: They piss on my carpet. Over and over again.

YellowFeathers Mon 22-May-06 20:02:13


intergalacticwalrus Mon 22-May-06 20:03:45

lol!! But things like that don't matter whne you don't have a child. My childless friends look at me as if I am a mad woman when I get into a rant about it. I think having a child makes you think that you have some god given rights over everyone else. Who cares if you can't get a space near to the shop? That's what effing trolley seats are for!!!! However, I still get into an unspeakable rage when I happen to see a non parent using one of these spaces.

niceglasses Mon 22-May-06 20:05:11

Tips for survival

1. Wine as early as is decent. 4pm is okay in this house.

2. Chuck em in the bath by 3pm on a really bad day.

3. Drink more wine whilst they are in the bath.

4. If they are happy in the bath, keep topping it up.

5. If one has a dirty nappy and dh is due in 40 mins or less, leave it and say it just happened.

6. Give them a crap tea 1-2 nights a week with a clear conscience.

7. Get out of the house and stay out as long as you can.


intergalacticwalrus Mon 22-May-06 20:07:51

I thought I was the only one who did point no 5, niceglasses!!!!! In fact I did it tonight. When DP got home, I said in mock surprise "Oooh, there's a bit of a nip in the air" and then wandered into the kitchen muttering about finding something nice for dinner, thus leaving him to sort it.

YellowFeathers Mon 22-May-06 20:21:12

I like it NG

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