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Am officially a cr*p mother...

(19 Posts)
SoupDragon Sun 21-May-06 20:53:30

After a Trying Day told the DSs I was going to find BabyDragon a new family to live with because I couldn't stand the crying any more. DS2 (5) promptly burst into tears saying "But I don't want BabyDragon to go!"

On the plus side, at least I know he loves his baby sister but boy do I feel bad about it.

cazzybabs Sun 21-May-06 20:56:06

OH bless - but poor you!! crying does get you down and neither of mine cry alot but there are times when I consider (all be it briefly voilence!). Can you find someone to have the baby dragon (I can for see the fire breathing a problem) for a few hours???? I would offer my services (am very broody) but am guessing cambridge is a long way!

LadyTophamHatt Sun 21-May-06 20:57:47

Ohhh soup, don't worry about it.
I've said stuff like that 100 times.


Have told Ds1 that I'm going to send him to the "baording school" across town if his behaviour doesn't improve. Have said it a few times actually....his brothers would welcome it I think

Sadly the school doesn't have a the facility for boarding but I'll no tbe telling ds1 that

jamiesam Sun 21-May-06 20:58:30

ah, you see, feeling bad about it means that you're not a cr*p mother.

You've got to hold in there for the sake of really cr*p mothers like me who are (publicly mind you!) expecting no. 3 and starting to brick it slightly. Me looking after three children fgs, whose smart idea was that?

SoupDragon Sun 21-May-06 21:09:58

Jamiesam, I went through the "3 children? WTF was I thinking" panic almost a year ago.

I've said stuff like this before but it was the way DS2 actually believed me and was distraught at the thought of me sending his sister away.

Neither DS cried a lot.

GeorginaA Sun 21-May-06 21:13:24

Aw Soupy

I can sympathise - ds2 was colicky and gawd was that a shock.

Remember the mummy mantra:

andthistooshallpass
andthistooshallpass
andthistooshallpass
andthistooshallpass
andthistooshallpass
...

SoupDragon Sun 21-May-06 21:20:04

I think if there was something wrong with her, I could cope easiler. The only thing wrong is that she wants and demands attention. I know it will pass but I was meant to be savouring every moment of her!

GeorginaA Sun 21-May-06 21:31:46

Yeah, little buggers don't read the manual, do they?

Savouring every moment? Gawd ... I was supposed to do that ... then I blinked and ds2 is two years old already. Quite frightening really.

I was trying to tell my MIL the other week how I felt that I'd screwed up ds1's childhood.

Firstly, I'm not a good baby mother, I passed most of that in a blur of stress and conviction I was doing it all wrong.

Then when he was 18mths old, dh lost his job and we had 6 months of tension, almost losing the roof over our heads and then him working away during the week after having been working at home since ds1 was a year old.

Then the stress of the move.

Then I got pregnant, I was constantly exhausted, then had OC, SPD and spent most of my time at the hospital.

Then his brother came along - who was colicky and demanding.

MIL told me to not be so daft and that ds1 didn't know any different, but I still feel crap and wonder if all that has played a big part on ds1's personality. Isn't when they're 5 supposed to be the point on which their personality is fairly set for life?

At least ds2 just got a blur...

Ack, sorry ... this was supposed to be your crap mother thread.

snafu Sun 21-May-06 21:36:46

Savouring every moment? Pah. Chance would be a fine thing.

I know I'm not around very much atm, but when I am I'd be happy to jiggle BabyDragon around for a couple of hours if you need a break. Failing that, we've got a big garden, I'll bung her in a Silver Cross at the end of it and have a snooze myself...

Just let me know. I'm feeling quite broody these days...and it sounds like she'd be a good cure, bless her

SoupDragon Sun 21-May-06 21:45:29

Snafu, we have an enormous garden and I've been tempted to hang her from the tree at the end in her sling on numerous occasions... She's not a good cure for broodiness because the little moo behaves herself and smiles/gurgles cutely at everyone.

I think feeling like a cr*p mother is maybe par for the course. I'm sure DSs don't see me as being cr*p. I know I don't think my mother was and she wasn't a hands-on one. I'm sure your DS1 doesn't think you've screwed up his childhood either, GA.

Ah well. Time to shift her into her basket and go to bed I guess.

Thanks for lettimg me whinge.

GeorginaA Sun 21-May-06 21:48:32

Yes, I'm sure if we all swanned through thinking all was fine and dandy without ever analysing our parenting skills (or lack thereof) there'd be something seriously wrong.

The tree plan sounds cool - sounds like a fun swing thing to me Ooo... that's a thought - have you tried one of those mechanical swings just for 5 mins peace and quiet while you sip a cuppa? Got anyone nearby you could borrow one off to see if she'd take to it?

G'night hon. Whinge whenever you feel like it. Hope you get a good sleep and that tomorrow pans out a bit better

WideWebWitch Sun 21-May-06 21:49:16

Soupy, if it makes you feel better (and me worse but I already feel bad about it), I threatened to send ds to live with his dad a few weeks ago. And I know it's unforgivable but I was truly at the end of my tether. I have since shrieked at him "but I WON'T because I AM YOUR MOTHER AND I LOVE YOU AND MUMMIES ARE NOT CAPABLE OF SENDING THEIR CHILDREN AWAY BUT YOU DO MAKE ME CROSS SOMETIMES." so I think he knows it was an idle ish threat. Although that weekend his dad did come and get him and the relief as they drove away was enormous. It's a bit better now.

WideWebWitch Sun 21-May-06 21:50:39

Oh and fuck savouring, babies are bloody hard work imo.

snafu Sun 21-May-06 21:56:31



It is par for the course. And of course the dses don't see you as crap - because you're not. But it's shit when you're going through it, anyway. (It's little consolation, but ds pushed so many buttons today that I actually cried in the Early Learning Centre , and he's my only one!)

Hope you get a decent night's sleep. And, y'know, maybe the tree thing isn't a bad idea, hehehehe....

LadyTophamHatt Mon 22-May-06 07:16:06

How old is she now Soupy?

I rememebr ds3 as a demanding little bugger. Had to be carried everywhere, would only sit in his chair for a matter of minutes before the wailing started again.
Drove me around the twist.

At about 5 month I put him in a walker (you know, those things the devil makes...) and the wailing stopped. Almost immediately.

He still wanted me all the time, but he could follow me around rather than demand to be carried. He loved it.

Actually, I say he'd follow me but that was until I went up stairs <evil cackle>

Is she too little for a walker?

LadyTophamHatt Mon 22-May-06 07:16:19

How old is she now Soupy?

I rememebr ds3 as a demanding little bugger. Had to be carried everywhere, would only sit in his chair for a matter of minutes before the wailing started again.
Drove me around the twist.

At about 5 month I put him in a walker (you know, those things the devil makes...) and the wailing stopped. Almost immediately.

He still wanted me all the time, but he could follow me around rather than demand to be carried. He loved it.

Actually, I say he'd follow me but that was until I went up stairs <evil cackle>

Is she too little for a walker?

Blandmum Mon 22-May-06 07:24:26

Bless, it is awful isn't it?

DD was a right royal PITA. She would only sleep if I helpd her standing up. They second I sat dow the little bugger would wake and wail!

I would have to put her in the cot and walk away and get a coffe for 5 minutes. In that time she normaly dropped off.

She had lots of fresh air, we used to walk at 90mph around town with her wailing like a fire engine. Two advantages, I couldn't throttle her in public, and it wasn't as loud outside.

Now she it 9 and I sometimes tell her 'I mean this is a warm , loving, supportive way littlemartian, but bugger off and give me 5 minutes peace'

It will pass, and you are just fab so don't beat yourself up!

SoupDragon Mon 22-May-06 13:13:15

She's, er, hang on I kow this one... 3.5 months. Ish. Too little to do anything except howl. Went to her swimming class this morning ans ehs was all smiles and gurgles... get home and she's only stopped crying when being fed or held or sneakily fed to sleep on the sofa and abandoned (like now). Will wake her up by making myself a coffee...

She has her 2nd batch of vaccinations in half an hour. That should cheer her up.

SoupDragon Mon 22-May-06 13:13:53

Hey! Didn't even need the coffee!

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