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Calling those with Jewish knowledge....

(55 Posts)
ComeOVeneer Fri 19-May-06 21:47:54

Have been invited to a wedding of a friend of dh's (dh is jewish but none practising so hopeless to ask). It is written on the invite that it is black tie so easy for men but what should women wear? The ceremony is in a synagogue but not sure if it is an orthodox one (at 3pm) then onto the reception. Those of you with experience of this what would you advise to wear? Also do I need to be coveered in any particular way in the synagogue, will I be able to sit with dh or in a female only section etc?

clairemow Fri 19-May-06 21:57:28

I'm not Jewish either, but I went to a big Jewish wedding a couple of years ago, and all the women were really dressed up in evening dress. I'd look on it like going to a ball or something (those were the days...!!). We only went to the evening bit, so I don't know if they changed after the ceremony in the synagogue though. Embarassingly, we didn't realise it said black tie on the invite, and DH went in his suit. Had to remove the tie, and pretend he was just so hot he'd had to take off the bow tie as well... ooops. at least you've read yours properly!!

The evening was great fun, esp the bit where they lifted the bride up on a chair, and carted her about above their shoulders!

hub2dee Fri 19-May-06 21:58:21

Orthodox synagogue: cover your hair, arms, skirt below knees, women sit apart from me. I don't think liberals adhere to any of this (as strictly IYSWIM, ie some will bare arms, wear trousers, not cover head, sitting is mixed sex etc.).

If the reception is orthodox (black tie might lean that way) then usually ladies are in dresses (long).

HTH (I obviously have only a smattering of womanly advice wrt dressing for these things).

clairemow Fri 19-May-06 21:59:38

crickey. sounds like you might be best to get DH to ask his friend!

bubble99 Fri 19-May-06 22:01:08

If in doubt, cover your hair.

hub2dee Fri 19-May-06 22:01:13

women sit apart from me, LOL.

Capital L for Liberals...

that should sort out my typos.

Oh, if they're orthodox, the dancing will be sex-separated as well. Some start like this and end up mixed-sex, but often it is boys or girls only... sometimes a handkerchief is used to allow nice twirly dance moves with <shock , horror> a mayaan.

hub2dee Fri 19-May-06 22:02:44

If in doubt chop it off and wear a sheitl, bubb. LOL

bubble99 Fri 19-May-06 22:03:13

hub2dee Fri 19-May-06 22:03:20

Personally, I never did quite see the interest in spending the evening dancing with a bunch of blokes...

hub2dee Fri 19-May-06 22:04:41

Oh, comester (ewwwwwwww) there will be some specialist dance moves to master too.... bubb will have to explain the Hava Nagila criss-cross hip-switch direction-changing skipping in a circle in more detail...

ComeOVeneer Fri 19-May-06 22:05:21

They are not orthodox that I know. The groom is an old friend of dh's, the bride I have only met her twice due to us being out the country last year. She dresses similar to me (ie no sheitel (?sp) etc). But I am not sure if the synagogue is liberal or orthodox. I assume the attire will be dressy but I don't want to walk in and find myself OTT iyswim.

ComeOVeneer Fri 19-May-06 22:07:21

'Tis not the first "jewish" wedding we have been to as many of dh's friends are jewish (he is from Golders green/Hampstead area fgs) but this is the first one in a synagogue and black tie (so it is rather full on).

ComeOVeneer Fri 19-May-06 22:07:54


bubble99 Fri 19-May-06 22:09:12

You'll enjoy it, CM. Jewish weddings are very jolly and the divorces are even better. None of the 'stick up the arseness' of Anglican weddings.

onlineid Fri 19-May-06 22:10:19

Message withdrawn

hub2dee Fri 19-May-06 22:10:46

Look at the address ! Might say synagogue denomination IYSWIM.

Lots of people live their lives in highlly non-observant ways (no kosher, no shabbat, no festivals etc.) yet nonetheless choose to get married in a more traditional / orthodox way... but if that's the case here, the stuff in synagogue will be traditional but the evening should be chilled.

bubble99 Fri 19-May-06 22:11:13

Can't post anymore on this subject as Mr Bubble is accusing me of being racist. The big-nosed bastard.

ComeOVeneer Fri 19-May-06 22:11:15

Yep bubble the ones in the past that I have been to have been great. Just a bit concerned/put off at having a dress code dictated to us. Plus saying blacktie is easy for the men but for women that doesn't say a lot as it depends the occasion/venue/time of day/time of year etc.

hub2dee Fri 19-May-06 22:13:00

LOL @ divorces even better.

Still not sure about the name, thrillerdriller.

ComeOVeneer Fri 19-May-06 22:13:04

OK it is at Stanmore and Canons Park synagogue. Anyone know it? Is it liberal or orthodox?

hub2dee Fri 19-May-06 22:14:12

United = Orthodox. I'll be there. Please save me some peanuts after the service, OK ?

ComeOVeneer Fri 19-May-06 22:17:08

OK need a translation of your last post H2D

hub2dee Fri 19-May-06 22:21:09

Stanmore Synagogue is Orthodox.

Canon's Park is United. United is a part of the Orthodox movement. So re: dress / expectations etc. both are Orthodox.

It's time for a long dress, cm, LOL.

bubble99 Fri 19-May-06 22:22:58

Wear a 'cocktail frock'. Minker will shoot me for using the 'F' word. I don't think you'll need to wear a long dress - do they still exist?

A little black dress will do but get a hat to wear with it in the synagogue.

As hub says, the synagogue bit will be fairly formal, though IME even this part is fairly relaxed. The evening part will probably be just a 'do' like many others, though they will probably propose a toast to the 'Nation of Israel'.

ComeOVeneer Fri 19-May-06 22:23:16

SO i need to cover my head etc etc won't be sitting with dh all that malarky? Oiy> And on top of it I have to miss the MN picnic as it is the same day (plus dh is peeved about the football final too).

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