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Have just had a huge row with H and now he tells me

(20 Posts)
carla Tue 16-May-06 09:27:51

Message deleted

carla Tue 16-May-06 09:30:26

Message deleted

lou33 Tue 16-May-06 09:31:29

what sort of things?

xh threatened to do that to me to get a divorce

rickman Tue 16-May-06 09:32:31

Message withdrawn

Freckle Tue 16-May-06 09:34:08

How does he know that Carla is you? It could be anyone, unless MNHQ confirm your identity. Tell him he's deluded.

compo Tue 16-May-06 09:35:29

has he actually left or did he just say it in the heat of the moment during a row?

bluejelly Tue 16-May-06 09:36:22

People say all sorts of things when they're angry... what are the chances of him following it through?
Sorry you are going through this by the way

Freckle Tue 16-May-06 09:36:56

How does he know that Carla is you? It could be anyone, unless MNHQ confirm your identity. Tell him he's deluded.

carla Tue 16-May-06 09:38:26

Message deleted

compo Tue 16-May-06 09:40:03

so if he's still with you why is he threatening court? I'd just ignore him if I were you until he calms down. Or go to Relate

Marina Tue 16-May-06 09:41:34

Well, I guess there are histories in Explorer and things which he can use to support his case that Carla is his wife, and if, like most of us, she logs in and asks to be remembered for 30 days, then that will be stored as a cookie somewhere.
Carla, I am very sorry to hear this. I think you need to try and ascertain how much he actually knows about your use of Mumsnet. Not easy I know when your situation at home is so fraught. But you must have an idea of how IT-savvy he actually is and whether he is talking through the seat of his pants.
A name change RIGHT NOW is in order if you want to keep posting, and can I suggest that you don't log in for now, ie, don't use the Threads I'm On function. If you are prompted to log in, don't click Remember me for thirty days.

Marina Tue 16-May-06 09:42:57

Ah, cross-posted. Do please change your name and consider whether you'd like your posts under your real name deleted. Then if he has not yet thought to print off his "evidence" you have made it much harder to get it.

prettybird Tue 16-May-06 09:49:55

Carla - I've looked at what comes up in "Recen messages" (admittedly I didn't search under "Archived messages") and I can't see anytihng in there that he could object to or "use".

What is it you are worried aobut?

If anything, your dh should be worried about the fact that you know he's been looking at porn.

carla Tue 16-May-06 13:41:48

Message deleted

Marina Tue 16-May-06 13:45:38

Not sure about the headache, Carla, but you won't be the first and it will be for good reason. I am sure if you explain why you want this done they will be very helpful.
After you have changed your name, you might want to watch threads where you post a little more often than usual, as someone might say..."Notcarla...are you Carla under a new name?", not realising that this could cause you more grief. You might want to think of a way of alerting Mners it's you without alerting your h.
Greensleeves had to do a similar forced namechange a while back and hers seems to have worked. Good luck!

carla Tue 16-May-06 14:00:09

Message deleted

Marina Tue 16-May-06 14:20:56

You should be able to access your registration and change your chat name without making any changes to your registered e-mail address, Carla.

I accessed mine by clicking on Your Registration, then entering my registered e-mail address and password, and then it took me to a page where I could amend a number of options.

Contact MNHQ if you have got yourself into an e-knot, and they will sort it out.

LIZS Tue 16-May-06 14:30:40

Sounds like an empty threat to me tbh. What is he using against you and why ? He can't prove it is you posting or that what you have posted is factual. What would he be going to court for ? Can't believe anyone in a divorce court is going to be interested in it, tbh isn't it all no blame these days.

wannaBe1974 Tue 16-May-06 16:00:35

ok don't know what your messages say as they've now all been deleted, but I'm guessing from responses that your dh is taking you to court over something you've done/said on here? presumably the fact that you've posted on here that he uses internet porn? prey tell what is he going to take you to court for exactly? I think he's just shouting the odds, he's been caught using internet porn and he maybe doesn't like the fact that you've told the world wide web that that he likes porn, but unless it's categorically untrue, there's nothing he can do.

notasheep Tue 16-May-06 16:58:59

thinking of you carla,so truth is told and then they say the truth always hurts IYSWIM.

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