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Gobsmacked by HV

(24 Posts)
Epigirl Tue 27-Jan-04 10:20:13

I've just come off the phone from my HV and am incredulous (again).

I filled in my second post-natal questionnaire last week saying honestly how I had felt for the last 7 days and I know that I underlined some phrases that would indicate I was quite anxious. However, I put a note on the questionnaire to say that I *had* been very anxious, mainly due to the fact that there had been a lot about SIDS in the papers/on TV and I had found it very upsetting.

When she called this morning to say I had scored 'too highly' I reiterated why I thought this was the case, the coverage of SIDS in the media in the last fortnight, and she said, 'Was there, I haven't seen the papers or the news'!!!

Is it just me or does it seem strange that a HV wouldn't be informed on the latest studies on SIDS? She is also aware that I co-sleep as she has expressed her disapproval on many occasions.

Anyway, it's all sorted now as apparently this means that I am OK and she will 'tick the box for me'.

hercules Tue 27-Jan-04 10:33:14

excuse typing. with ds my hv came to see me especially when he was 2 years old as so concerned about cosleeping. it does seem that a lot of hvs are not upto date especially midwives about bf although have had some good real advice from some.
as to your ? no excuse really unless from mars. i think all mums must have been anxious at this news, i know i was.

twiglett Tue 27-Jan-04 10:38:49

message withdrawn

FairyMum Tue 27-Jan-04 10:45:23

I hate them too!

aloha Tue 27-Jan-04 10:49:02

Epigirl - the study only showed a small increased risk if you slept with your baby when it was under 8weeks - and most of the tiny number of sad cases were connected with suffocation and overheating. Once your baby reaches 8 weeks, there is no increased risk, and before that you can pretty much eliminate it by not putting the baby under the duvet. So don't feel anxious. And I agree, your HV is remarkably uninformed, isn't she.

motherinferior Tue 27-Jan-04 12:09:43

Nothing would surprise me about HVs.

SofiaAmes Tue 27-Jan-04 13:20:55

Just wondering. Shouldn't she be more concerned about the state of your mental health than your "score" and trying to lower it? HV's should be abolished.
By the way it is absolutely normal to anxious about a newborn baby whether it's your first or your 10th. My children are 1.5 and 3 and I still get agitated and emotional (sometimes bursting into tears) when those ads on tv for abused children (nspc?) come on. Or when the subject of Roy Meadows comes up.

BekkiKay Tue 27-Jan-04 13:32:08

What are HV's for anyway? Absolutely pointless. I hope there aren't HV on mn now! No there couldn't be, that would mean that they would be picking up information which they so obviously don't want.

Angeliz Tue 27-Jan-04 13:45:24

Can't stand them myself and all info i have got has been less informed information than i already knew!!!(Hope that makes SOME sense)

motherinferior Tue 27-Jan-04 13:49:50

My HV paid absolutely NO attention when, on one of my very rare visits to our clinic, I burst into tears while trying to wrestle a baby and small child into coats, and said really quite loudly 'I can't cope'.

Bron Tue 27-Jan-04 13:55:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eddm Tue 27-Jan-04 14:04:15

I've got a great HV! Just a plug because I know they got lots of stick on here. It was the HV who picked up my mastitis – community midwife useless – and without her support I don't think I'd have managed to carry on b/f.

ghengis Tue 27-Jan-04 14:06:52

I would have agreed with you following DS's birth nearly 12 year ago but after DD's (8 years later) I found out just how great a HV can be. I guess it's like most things - some people are good at their jobs and some aren't.

handlemecarefully Tue 27-Jan-04 14:07:23

My HV was kindly, well meaning (but a little irritating). On balance more of a help than a hindrance.

My older sister is a HV in Australia and she is a truly lovely person - and very practical/ sensible.

However, I hear of enough bad experiences to suggest that there are more 'bad' health visitors than good....strange innit? I wonder why that should be?

bundle Tue 27-Jan-04 14:48:18

I cried once at the clinic - I'd been waiting for around 2 hours to see the GP cos dd1 had green poo (I was on 3rd lot of antibiotics for mastitis, she was 10 weeks old) and desperately wanted to be bumped up the queue...one of the other hv's saw me (she was young, much nicer than my regular one even though she was only a trainee) and thought I was having an attack of PND, immediately made an appointment to visit me at home the following day...we had a lovely chat and she restored my faith..then she moved away from London

nutcracker Tue 27-Jan-04 15:29:48

Some HV's are just terrible I think. When dd1 was just one i took her to the baby clinic. As usual the room was full and the floor covered in toys and babies. My dd was trying to negotiate her way around the mess when my H.V rushed in straight passed dd who fell over and banged her head. I scooped dd up and began comforting her. H.v said is she o.k (no apology), do you want to take her through to see the doctor. I said no it's o.k she's always falling over and banging her head , she'll be alright in a minute.
Next thing i know the doc has summoned me in to his room wanting to know why dd is always falling over and has she ever injured herself e.t.c, e.t.c. I was completely gobsmacked. All i had meant was that since she had just started walking, falling over was a common problem. I couldn't believe I was being question like that when it was the H.V that had knocked her over in the first place. I was quite upset and wrote a letter to the health centre complaining about the H.V and the state of the room where the clinic was held. I then changed doc's and H.V

aloha Tue 27-Jan-04 15:30:07

Sofia, I can't watch those ads either. They make me cry. I also blubbed hopelessly at Judge John Deed when the mother with brain tumour pleaded with her lawyer to take her son in after her death. Having children does change you like that.

nutcracker Tue 27-Jan-04 15:32:47

Meant to say though, that my next H.V was a life saver. When i had dd2 i was diagnosed with pnd and she visited me every day (her lunch break I think) just to chat with me and work through any probs i was having. Unfortunatly she left about 6 mths later. I sent her a thankyou card explaining how much she had helped me and how much she'd be missed. Next H.V was a total idiot.

cazzybabs Tue 27-Jan-04 15:38:43

I also have an excellent HV who gives me facts and lets me make up my mind about what I want to do, e.g. vaccinations, weaning. She is brilliant and also she is just there when you want a chat. I must just be very lucky.

Luckymum Tue 27-Jan-04 16:09:03

I have 3 children and have had many HV's, the good the bad and the ugly.......no offence mean't. I have to say my last HV (& her collegue) was fantastic and saved my dd's life,literally! She went over my GP's head to get her referred to hospital when she was failing to thrive and he was doing a 'paranoid mother' diagnosis. Her supported during the following months and years was invaluable. Thank you Kath and Fiona

hmb Tue 27-Jan-04 16:18:55

I appreciate that some people on mumsnet have had some very bad times with HV. Just to mallence things out a bit I have had 2 in different parts of the country and they were both *excellent*. Very supportive, gave me confidence in myself as a mother and good fun as well. Sorry tat others have had a crappy time with them. Like all jobs there are good and bad I suppose.

Jimjams Tue 27-Jan-04 18:23:44

yep mine's been great as well. Seen some ropey ones in my time, but one did refer me on when needed and my one now has always been there when needed. She's written letters to paeds etc backing me up as well. I think the good ones I have seen have outnumbered the bad.

misdee Tue 27-Jan-04 19:10:50

i remember filling in those questionaiires and scored 'highly' which made me depressed. it was only when they asked and found out my bro was going into hospital that week that i was 'ok'

Clarinet60 Tue 27-Jan-04 23:10:46

I've had some good ones and some absolute stinkers. Luckily, the stinkers mostly just made me laugh. Current one is ace.

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