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Ever feel like you don't fit in?

(9 Posts)
Ridersofthestorm Fri 05-Apr-13 15:56:42

Do any of you feel like you don't fit in anywhere? I do. Maybe it's all in my head.
I come from a normal northern working class background I am not particularly clever went to a local comprehensive. I was never pushed in my life to be academic or anything like that. Although as a child I always loved learning new things particularly history. My parents just wanted me to be happy but had no other particular aspirations.
I took my a levels and wanted to go to university but had teachers who told me I wasn't good enough to get into a university that did the degree I wanted. I took a couple of years out after my a levels working in a shop which made me realise I wanted something more.
I got my degree in 2004 which I was very proud of as i was the first in my family. I have moved from my hometown (not for work but for a relationship and i miss my hometown so much) and I now work in what I would call a very middle class profession.
All the people I encounter are well spoken articulate and very clever. I just feel so inadequate next to them because I have a very distinctive accent (which I love and am very proud of btw and would never change). I just feel like I can never fit in amongst them, my humour is often different and some see my manner as quite harsh (I am not I can't help it I talk passionately about things and tend to say what I think a bit too much).
It's totally knocked my confidence as some people can't understand what I am saying and I hate how I sound next to them. I know I shouldn't feel like this but I can't help it.
I long to go home were people don't look at you because you talk different. But now I find I don't fit in back home sometimes too.
Most of my family can't talk about things I have an interest in such as history etc so I just play dumb.
I feel so alone and have no friends here. I shouldn't be feeling so sorry for myself I suppose I just wanted to know if anyone else feels like they don't fit in.

Ridersofthestorm Fri 05-Apr-13 19:07:10


RemindMeWhatSleepIs Fri 05-Apr-13 19:09:53

Hello! I'm not sure "other subjects" has much traffic. Not sure where to recommend though.

Ridersofthestorm Fri 05-Apr-13 19:17:07

Thanks smile I wasn't too sure either I don't know how to repost to somewhere else.

AuntieBrenda Fri 05-Apr-13 21:32:17

I feel the same sometimes. I feel like I do things to fit in with others and don't do what makes me happy IYSWIM

NumTumDeDum Fri 05-Apr-13 21:36:47

You sound like me. You wouldn't be in the legal profession would you by any chance?

Ridersofthestorm Fri 05-Apr-13 21:50:59

Omg replies grin
Yeah you definitely try and be something you're not, and then that just makes you unhappy. I try too hard to fit in then can't be arsed and be myself a bit more and still feel awkward.
I'm not in the legal profession, I'm in the heritage sector smile love my job tho which is good. However I constantly think I don't fit in, I hate speaking in meetings.

Taffeta Fri 05-Apr-13 21:59:57

I have never feel like I've fitted in anywhere, until the last few years. Although I still don't really "fit in" but I think with age, I just give less of a shit and am more attracted to people that break the mould a bit, too.

I went to 8 different schools growing up, boarding school where I wasn't posh enough, comprehensive where I was too la di da , school in America where I was put with kids 3 years older so was the oddity on many levels. It made me feel like I don't fit in anywhere, but it also made me feel that I am not intimidated by anyone because of who they are, where they come from etc. When you are a square peg, you are an individual and there's a lot to be said for that. Believe in yourself, op. smile

Ridersofthestorm Fri 05-Apr-13 22:33:29

Aww thanks Taffeta, that was a v inspiring message! 8 different schools, my days I don't think I could cope. You must have felt like the odd one out every time you went somewhere new? I'm glad you finally feel like you do fit in that's lovely.

I always admire people who are individual too and don't just go along with everyone else but there is always the feeling of wanting to belong. I am however quite shy and people are always shocked when I tell them because I am very chatty (usually because of nerves). I hate being the centre of attention and looked at when I talk so its worse when you are a bit different.
I need to not care what people think of me, (sings very loudly but then gets embarrassed) I am who I am!!!!

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