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Want to help adult who experienced childhood abuse

(6 Posts)
helpme2help Tue 13-Jan-04 20:34:34

Regular mumsnetter - name changed (some may realise who I am)

Recently discovered someone close to our family was abused for most of their childhood. First person they ever told was a relative of mine just before Christmas. They have contacted the police and have been to the GP for help....nothing sorted out yet though.

Today I have also found out that this person cuts themselves too. This person is in a relationship with someone very close to me and they have a toddler. The relationship is very volatile due to trust issues and in the past few weeks it has been 'over' several times, although they are still together. This person's parents know and are being supportive (sorry to say 'this person' all the time - sounds dreadful)

I can't get it all out of my brain. I have some training in helping people in this area but not much.

I want to firstly help the person that this has all happened to - suggest support networks, strategies for dealing with things, advice about the inevitable court case, how to trust their partner, be a 'healthy' parent (don't mean that in a bad way - this person is worried that their partner will watch them change their child's nappies because of this).

I also want to help this person's partner - what can I do to help them to help this person?

This has really got to me and I am very concerned/worried and want to help but without prying.

They are very close to me.
Any help, advice or 'pointing in the right direction' would be enormously appreciated

JJ Tue 13-Jan-04 20:54:04

Here's a link to a page of links to charities which might be applicable.

I would check out the most relevant websites and ring them if you have any questions. Many organizations have a page for friends and family of the abused, giving them suggestions on what to do and how to help.

Your friend is lucky to have a friend like you. Keep supporting him and keep trusting him (sounds daft, I know, but sometimes.. well, I don't know how to say what I want to say) but make sure it's obvious that you still trust him with your kids.

Realize that you might need to talk to someone also about this -- it's good to help, but keep yourself on an even keel, too.

JanH Tue 13-Jan-04 20:58:28

dear helpme - no advice but I think you are great for getting involved. Hope it all turns out OK.

helpme2help Tue 13-Jan-04 21:04:08

Thank you so much for this, JJ.
This is exactly what I was hoping for.

helpme2help Tue 13-Jan-04 21:45:45

If anyone has had similar experiences of trying to help someone in this situation, and you don't want to discuss it in a public forum, I would be very grateful if you wanted to email me via 'Contact another talker'
Am grateful of any advice

helpme2help Tue 13-Jan-04 22:38:51


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