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INTROVERTS THREAD ...shhhh, we're over here

(1000 Posts)
NorksAreMessy Sat 24-Nov-12 23:04:28

Hello fellow introverts. I hope the last thread exploded due to time since it was started, and not because it was controversial. grin

I started the original thread after reading the wonderful book quiet and realizing that I was not alone.

Lots of people were kind enough to share their thoughts and experiences, and it was a good support for those of us who like being alone; hate parties, especially hen nights; love reading, crafting, walking, painting, creating; enjoy solitude; need some recovery time after being in a crowd; prefer thought to action.

We are not necessarily shy, we can be confident and even outspoken, but we are at our happiest having a bit of a think on our own, thanks all the same

It's a bit odd to have a group of introverts, but I prefer to think of us as a collective. Separate but together.

As Christmas approaches, I thought we might need a thread to help us through it all

SeagullsAreLikeThat Wed 21-Aug-13 08:46:48

Hi Norks. No, I think that's where I'm going wrong! Would definitely be less nervous with some canine company. We only have fish and they get tired if you walk them too far smile

NorksAreMessy Wed 21-Aug-13 17:34:46


Doha Wed 21-Aug-13 18:11:16

I have a cocker spaniel as a guard dog ( he is very timid and runs a mile when approached by strangers hmm but l sort of feel safe when he is with me.
I am not really been nervous when out alone but l must admit when it's dark l start to imagine the lampposts are aliens (think was of the worlds) and that any lights in the sky are UFO's and l freak myself out a bit.
I just had a horrific day where l had to go to a training day with 100 other people that l just didn't want to be with (except one and she is lovely). Glad it's over and it's back to work in isolation tomorrow.

NorksAreMessy Wed 21-Aug-13 20:34:31

ah, but you are home now, doha

I have been making jewellery all day with lovely people, but 135 individual items is quite a lot in five hours. I am a tiny bit knackered. I just need to retreat and regroup and look at the cows in the field and the sunset.

Doha Wed 21-Aug-13 21:49:23

The moon is just beautiful tonight but these bloody midges !!!! hmm

What kind of jewellery do you make Norks? [nosey emotion]

failingatlife Thu 22-Aug-13 19:32:11

Hi peeps alright to come in, I'm very quiet grin Think i'm an introvert, certainly a shy, quiet sort anyway. Not got many friends & don't feel the need to be constantly socialising. DH is much the same although he is way more confident & able to deal with people than me but is defo a loner who likes a lot of alone time, suits me fine grin

SeagullsAreLikeThat Thu 22-Aug-13 22:15:46

Hi failingatlife, (hushed tones) welcome to the quiet cornersmile

I have had a challenging day: nothing serious just major sensory overload and it leaves me exhausted. The boys have been wild - lovely but noisy and excited and rowdy and seem to have been talking over each other all day. At one point this morning, they were watching tv in the kitchen but chattering over that and at the same time DH was next to me watching a video on his phone and the washer was on and the kettle was boiling and I thought my head was going to explode!

I remember a friend telling me scornfully that her husband was incapable of listening to her if the children were vying for his attention at the same time; he needed to do one or the other, and she was saying "I can just ignore them and listen, why can't he, bloody men" kind of thing. I'm like him!!! I can't bear trying to listen to more than one person talk and especially if there's other background noise. There's nothing wrong with my ears, it's just a brain thing!

Anyway, it was lovely to finally separate the boys and have quiet story time this evening and they were both asleep within minutes so at least they've worn themselves out talking smile

obrigada Fri 23-Aug-13 15:48:03

Just found this thread, I remember reading it back in November, and then I lost it. Have now added it to my "watch list", going to take some time and read it through. Waves at everyonesmile

NorksAreMessy Fri 23-Aug-13 22:02:55

I am so happy about this thread. grin

Lots of gentle, kind (my theory still collecting data, so far, all introverts tested are kind, not all kind people are introverts, still need more data smile ) and thoughtful people just quietly meeting. Perfect.

Tomorrow is one of my hectic days. Last Wednesday I talked to, and was jolly with, about 100 people. Tomorrow should be quieter (rain forecast) so I might take less time to wind down afterwards. I need the half hour journey home, no radio, and about another solitary hour at home before I can be sociable.

I completely understand about background noise. I cannot focus at all if the telly, radio or music are on and really find it hard to see how anyone can. I can embroider with the telly on, but only if I know what I am going to do before I start. Actual creativity has to be done in calm and quiet.

failingatlife your name makes me sad sad I hope this haven can help you

SeagullsAreLikeThat Sat 24-Aug-13 07:03:59

Norks, I felt exactly the same about failingatlife's name... Here's hoping it's lighthearted...

The background noise has been a real issue at work for me in the past; there have been people in the office who, when the boss isn't there, want the radio on because they say they work more effectively with music whereas it really blocks my thoughts. I can't even read with music on and yet apparently there is some research that shows that some people DO perform more effectively if they work with background music on (I think it was based on students revising for tests). Must depend entirely on the individual.

Doha Sat 24-Aug-13 09:54:19

Strangely l need music to study-on the TV on very low but that is different to general noise for me. Going to the cinema is a nightmare with that Dolby sound booming in my ears, then the masses of people chatting makes my brain want to explode. I rarely go to the cinema usually waiting until the film is out on DVD. (I have a massive DVD collectionsmile).

I love to listen and hear nothing--just silence but my favourite is nothing but the waves on the shore--very hypnotic.

Shinyshoes1 Sat 24-Aug-13 11:59:00

I have a list of stuff to do when the kids leave home and one of the things on the list is bora bora... My DP and I were having this discussion last night oh ma god !!! He reckons he's not coming as all ill do is lay there stare at the sea and read a book ..." I can do that at home "

FFs we don't even live near a sea and yes I can read a book indoors but it's hardly the same . He just don't " get it " the peace , sound of the sea , solitude. I actually get very annoyed at his answers .
I often go and lay under a tree at Hyde park when the weather is nice , looking up through the trees at the sky , listen to all the different sounds around me in the distance but I can " do that in the garden it's all the same bloody sky "


Littlegreyauditor Thu 29-Aug-13 12:42:15

Hello, this is lovely.

Can I come in? I'll bring my own book...

MERLYPUSS Thu 29-Aug-13 20:57:26


Just hi.

SeagullsAreLikeThat Thu 29-Aug-13 21:54:28

Always lovely to have new people (as long as they're not too noisysmile)

Littlegreyauditor Fri 30-Aug-13 11:19:05

I'll be over in the corner then, lovely to see you all.

UnexpectedStepmum Fri 30-Aug-13 21:47:18

I had a challenging afternoon, what I had expected to be me and DCs visiting a friend turned out to be a party with ten mums and their DCs. I hate parties!

Will just chill out here for a bit if that's ok.

Guitargirl Fri 30-Aug-13 21:56:05

I think my family are starting to understand that I cannot physically process what they are saying if they are all talking to me at the same time. But they have learnt that as I just start sticking my fingers in my ears and walk out of the room.

I had 2 nights on my own this week for the first time in nearly 7 years. I felt incredibly guilty at how much I enjoyed it. I went to a conference which I really enjoyed (luckily the presentation I had to make was early on so then I could relax) and stayed up late both nights just to make the most of the solitude.

ArgyMargy Sun 01-Sep-13 10:06:23

Hello. Seen this thread before but would like to join now if that's ok? I'm currently reading Quiet and it's a revelation (but not a surprise). I've had a quick search but not found any threads about it. Have there been any?

farrowandbawl Wed 04-Sep-13 12:44:02

There have Argy but they were in chat so long gone by now. It was either in chat or relationships where this thread originated. We asked MNHQ to either put this thread as a sticky but they moved it here instead.

ArgyMargy Wed 04-Sep-13 13:22:11

Thanks farrow - I admit I am slow on the uptake..!

farrowandbawl Wed 04-Sep-13 13:32:55

No, no that's not what I ment at all. Sorry If it came across that way.

Introvert threads like this don't come up that often..three or four times a year at the most. By the time I'm usually online, they've gone. Hence why we've asked this one to be moved to as more permanant place.

SeagullsAreLikeThat Wed 04-Sep-13 18:16:55

Really glad you asked for it to be moved. I love this thread.

Just going back to the noise issue, I realised at the cinema on Monday why I like going so much: the noise doesn't bother me, I think because it's just one source of noise, which I can handle ( I struggle when there are lots of conflicting sources) and what I love is that it's two hours when I'm not expected to talk to anyone! In fact you're not ALLOWED to talk to anyone. Bliss!

ArgyMargy Wed 04-Sep-13 18:47:11

I wasn't being sarky farrow - I really do get to things late in the day!! But agree it is great to have a permanent place for this - so thank you. grin

southeastdweller Thu 05-Sep-13 17:23:57

Another hot day here in London. Can't wait for Autumn to get going! I find this weather so irksome.

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