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INTROVERTS THREAD ...shhhh, we're over here

(1000 Posts)
NorksAreMessy Sat 24-Nov-12 23:04:28

Hello fellow introverts. I hope the last thread exploded due to time since it was started, and not because it was controversial. grin

I started the original thread after reading the wonderful book quiet and realizing that I was not alone.

Lots of people were kind enough to share their thoughts and experiences, and it was a good support for those of us who like being alone; hate parties, especially hen nights; love reading, crafting, walking, painting, creating; enjoy solitude; need some recovery time after being in a crowd; prefer thought to action.

We are not necessarily shy, we can be confident and even outspoken, but we are at our happiest having a bit of a think on our own, thanks all the same

It's a bit odd to have a group of introverts, but I prefer to think of us as a collective. Separate but together.

As Christmas approaches, I thought we might need a thread to help us through it all

Minimammoth Mon 24-Jun-13 22:33:53

Ahh. Here you are. I have just returned from America and am in sore need of quiet space. Had to keep hiding in my room to find balance.

NorksAreMessy Mon 24-Jun-13 22:55:02

Here we are mini. I recognise the 'hiding' thing VERY well.
I am a jewellery tutor and had THREE two hour birthday parties on Saturday. I came home absolutely mentally exhausted and had to hide in bed for a solid hour before I was nice to talk to.

Tonight DH and I just wandered around the garden listening to the bees and watching the swallows. Bliss.

Minimammoth Tue 25-Jun-13 08:34:18

Too many people, and having to make polite superficial conversation is the pits. I was grabbing a bowl of fruit and cereal and heading for the lift. Also finding solace in garden.

greenhill Tue 25-Jun-13 10:38:20

There is a fox cub in my garden eating scraps, at the moment. Yesterday five or so red kites were swooping down and snatching scraps from in our garden and next door. They have left an enormous wing feather as a memento.

I've not had time to do much with the garden recently, winter was very snowy and icy here, then we had a lot of spring rain, so the trees are full of leaves and the blossom has been astounding. The shrubs have taken over and the lawn is springy with moss and full of buttercups and self seeded with enormous daisies.

My DD has grown a packet of sweet peas, they were only planted 10 days ago and are several inches high already, this weekend they can be transferred to large containers and we will buy 5 foot high sticks for them to climb up into a wigwam shape.

Minimammoth Tue 25-Jun-13 22:00:05

Are you welsh bordersish Greenhill?

greenhill Wed 26-Jun-13 06:27:42

No, in Bucks on the edge of the Chilterns, red kites were successfully reintroduced around here and are flourishing. smile

crushedintherush Wed 26-Jun-13 08:39:17

Jingleflobba Lucky you. You could always ask yourself if you want to go on the xmas do, and at least you'll have an answer ready :D

I always say when asked, that I'll check when dh's xmas works do is, then, miraculously, it is always on the same night. What a coincidence...

Bit by bit though, I've confided that I don't like big do's as I find them too much, though I've gone out when its just a few of us from work for an early meal, and a couple of drinks, but then I go home. I leave the talking to the loud ones smile

crushedintherush Wed 26-Jun-13 08:48:59

Dear me, I've just replied to a post that was posted in November....I obviously didn't check what page I was on ... d'oh.

But......having said that, knowing how fast Xmas will descend on us, as time is flying by, its a 'soon' post not a 'late' one, methinks smile

My day off today, solitude, I love it.

And I love this thread.

Good morning all, by the

SeagullsAreLikeThat Wed 26-Jun-13 20:07:20

grin at Crushed but yes, I think as Boxing Day is exactly 6 months today, we can start preparing our excuses now for the Christmas parties!

I have turned down an invitation to a Birthday meal this week and am not feeling even slightly guilty (ok, maybe about 1%) because they are all ten years younger than me and way more sociable and energetic and they will, quite frankly, have a better time without me there. I don't say that in any self-pitying way, I just knew that I would not be missed and we would all be much happier if I stay in and have an early night and they all eat then go clubbing! Sends shivers through me just thinking about it!

Guitargirl Wed 26-Jun-13 20:27:04

Is anyone else really looking forward to the end of term as it means a break from school-related socialising?

I feel really bad saying that as the parents at school are very kind and not at all 'in your face' types but I do struggle sometimes with the sheer volume of school-related stuff to get involved in. On top of being nice to people at work!

This last week for example, I have been into school 4 times for different things for parents. We have been to three parties over the weekend - all through school and 2 playdates over the last week. The last straw was an all-day meeting at work today where I had to be 'on form', make a presentation and be nice to people all day. I am now collapsed at home with a headache, the DCs are in bed and DP and I are in separate rooms. He is always slightly amused by my need for solitude but seems to humour me ok with it.

NorksAreMessy Wed 26-Jun-13 21:57:10

DS has finished his GCSEs, DD has finished school altogether.
I NEVER have to do a school run again.

But paradoxically work in schools every day, but just with the children, who are lovely and not exhausting at all. It's the adults who are mentally draining smile
I find turning down invitations very pleasing and hardly ever feel guilty. I didn't even go to my sister's hen night (or my own, I didn't have one smile ) luckily she understands.

I have just started doing embroidery to a ridiculous level and am finding that a perfect introvert craft, even on the courses we sit mostly quiet and content all together, just stitching happily and drinking tea.

BsshBossh Tue 09-Jul-13 15:15:02

<tiptoes in and marks place quietly to read in blissful solitude later after DD is in bed>

shufflehopstep Thu 11-Jul-13 21:42:53

I love this thread. I'm back at work after nearly 14 months off on mat leave with my company's generous holiday allowance tagged either end. I have loved just spending time with my little girl and not having to be anywhere behaving in a certain way. Being back at work is a big jolt back into the noisy world but I feel different as I've accepted that I just need time to shut off and go and sit on my own in the break area for half an hour or something. It's lovely. I'm content now to tell people where to get off when they try to "fix" me and bring me "out of my shell".

NorksAreMessy Mon 15-Jul-13 22:24:11

Hello bsssh and shuffle .
I am just loving the start of the holidays. Pottering to my hearts content and emerging only briefly to talk to the lovely people I meet doing my job.

DDs lovely boyfriend is here this week as well. Another introvert. And so kind. Are kindness and introversion linked, or is that me being biased? smile

SeagullsAreLikeThat Wed 17-Jul-13 22:41:20

Whereas I, on the other hand, Norks, am staring at next week's calendar with trepidation thinking "how do I entertain two riotous boys for an entire school holiday, cheaply and with as little blood loss as possible?"!

SeagullsAreLikeThat Wed 17-Jul-13 22:42:43

Oh and I can't think of one introvert I know who isn't kind so maybe there is mileage in your theorysmile

GreatGooglyMoogly Thu 18-Jul-13 07:17:05

Snap Seagulls - I too have two active boys to entertain (one of which is an extrovert)! I am a SAHM (and the boys are school-age) so I get time off on school-days grin. I have scheduled in a few sports camps and we are away for 3 weeks as well so hopefully I've got it covered.

NorksAreMessy Thu 18-Jul-13 10:48:10

seagulls perhaps we should write a thesis smile. I am now going to have a go at working out if it works in reverse. Are all kind people fundamentally introverted...I think that is less likely to be true.

I don't envy you all with running around type children. The only way I coped with DS when he was smaller and more puppy-ish than he is now (16 and introverted) was bundle dogs, food, books and children into the car and spend the day on a hill.
I liked making outdoor art projects (leaves arranged in a pattern, stone towers, little boats made of twigs etc) and DS would potter about collecting the bits.

I have now come over all nostalgic and want to have just one of those days back again. I know we always say 'this, too, shall pass', but it would be nice if it could pass back again for a little bit.

DS currently painting a barn with a friend and only appears for enormous quantities of carbs

MyLittleFinger Thu 18-Jul-13 20:44:16

Hello... By chance I've found this thread smile I love a quiet life, as few visitors as possible, being outside in the garden listening and seeing nature at it's best, and quietly indoors with DP and the cat and the grown up kids when they're here. Although we've done a fair amount of renovation in the house (and therefore noisy) we just worked as and when it suited us.

crushedintherush Fri 19-Jul-13 19:06:59

Hello mylittlefinger, welcome to the thread smile

SeagullsAreLikeThat Fri 19-Jul-13 21:10:43

Norks, did you get anywhere with reversing the theory? grin

It was the last day of term today, as I'm sure it was for many, and I had half a thought at pick up time to say to a few people "must meet up over the holiday" as I know DS will be desperate to see his friends but I just couldn't do it, I don't want to commit to having to see people! I know I will end up getting in touch with them at some point when I have been ground down by DS to a point where the guilt takes over but I just want a couple of weeks of not having to be sociable first. The playground people are actually all lovely, no cliques or bitchiness, but I still have to psyche myself up for school pick up every day.

VerityClinch Fri 19-Jul-13 21:24:28

Oh, hello again, fellow introverts! It's been AGES, and I haven't missed you at all wink

Just been, y'know, pottering. smile

NorksAreMessy Fri 19-Jul-13 21:29:32

Today I went to my regular hand embroidery class. Very happy in amongst introverts...all lovely kind people.
Need to research my theory more scientifically, but that means having to meet lots more people. (Catch 22)

SeagullsAreLikeThat Fri 19-Jul-13 22:16:29

Oh, I'm sure testing it on a VERY small sample at first will be absolutely adequate, let's not do anything rash smile

Minimammoth Tue 23-Jul-13 06:27:52

Norks, I noticed on the Storm thread that you are not too far from me. I quite enjoy a storm as long as I am warm and dry and looking out. Or maybe it's just an excuse to stay home.

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