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INTROVERTS THREAD ...shhhh, we're over here

(1000 Posts)
NorksAreMessy Sat 24-Nov-12 23:04:28

Hello fellow introverts. I hope the last thread exploded due to time since it was started, and not because it was controversial. grin

I started the original thread after reading the wonderful book quiet and realizing that I was not alone.

Lots of people were kind enough to share their thoughts and experiences, and it was a good support for those of us who like being alone; hate parties, especially hen nights; love reading, crafting, walking, painting, creating; enjoy solitude; need some recovery time after being in a crowd; prefer thought to action.

We are not necessarily shy, we can be confident and even outspoken, but we are at our happiest having a bit of a think on our own, thanks all the same

It's a bit odd to have a group of introverts, but I prefer to think of us as a collective. Separate but together.

As Christmas approaches, I thought we might need a thread to help us through it all

EnglishGirlApproximately Sat 24-Nov-12 23:09:08

Hello again norks :-) Tomorrow is my last day of maternity leave so on Monday I'll be back to dealing with the public. I may be checking in here a lot next week.

PimpMyHippo Sat 24-Nov-12 23:13:35

Aha, this is the place for me! I have a question for fellow introverts - how do you deal with getting out of social situations you've been invited to? Specifically, office Christmas "do". sad I like the people I work with and I've not worked there long so I don't want to make a bad impression, but I really can't face spending a whole evening with them in a social situation, especially if they're drinking (I can't drink because of meds). How do I back out of it without seeming rude?

maillotjaune Sat 24-Nov-12 23:14:38

Oh yes, erm, hello Norks and English. I am starting to feel concerned that I have to go to DH's work do having avoided his and mine the last few years.

Have great new dress, boys at sleepover at GPs, hotel to stay in but no inclination to go to actual party.

I'll just sit over here in the corner now.

NorksAreMessy Sat 24-Nov-12 23:14:41

Oh, English what a day of mixed feelings that will be? Are you stressing already, or looking forward to the change? How old is your frankly GORGEOUS D now?

NorksAreMessy Sat 24-Nov-12 23:18:12

Hello and welcome pimp
I get out of them by saying "sorry, I cant come".
If pressed I say "it makes me anxious" or explain properly how I don't enjoy it at all, but hope they have fun. Tell the truth, basically
In absolute emergencies I do go along for half and hour or so, say "lovely to see you all" and ooze away.
I never, ever, ever accept invitations where there is a communal bus !

EnglishGirlApproximately Sat 24-Nov-12 23:19:33

A bit of both to be honest, its a new job which is good as my old job was full of shouty sweary people and I really didn't want to go back. Ds is 8 months, its going to be very strange not being with him all the time.

Wrt work parties I just say no thank you. I don't bother making anything up. If its something I can go to for an hour I will but if its a whole night then I politely decline.

EnglishGirlApproximately Sat 24-Nov-12 23:20:21

x post with norks. Just say no!

NorksAreMessy Sat 24-Nov-12 23:21:14

Hello maillot. What is the set up at your DH's works do? What are you expected to join in?
I must say a hotel room to run away to does sound nice.
I am ashamed to say that I have had a headache in the past (genuine, brought on by stress of the event!) and run away to the room.
Nowadays DH knows how much I don't like it. I tell him in advance that I will stay for one hour max and then ooze off.
He is similarly introverted so the problem doesn't arise much smile

TobyLerone Sat 24-Nov-12 23:23:58

Pimp, is it a large company? I used to work for a fairly small one, and just said, "no, sorry, I can't make it". DP works for a pretty large company and we went the first year he worked there, but it made us both so anxious he's declined every year since and nobody has said a word.

Hello all, by the way! I joined the very end of the last thread and probably killed it.

TobyLerone Sat 24-Nov-12 23:24:27

OOoooooh, no! The communal bus is a HUGE no-no for me!

NorksAreMessy Sat 24-Nov-12 23:24:31

english, congrats on a new job. Can I ask what you do? Is it an introvert type job.
I have two jobs, one perfect for introverts (company secretary) and one, which I vastly prefer, (jewellery tutor). You would never believe I was the same person who started these threads if you saw me in action...but I need to come home and talk to NOBODY for half an hour afterwards smile

NorksAreMessy Sat 24-Nov-12 23:25:31

Hello toby I don't think you said anything soooooo terrrible that you could have killed the thread all the way off MN altogether ;)

OccultGnu Sat 24-Nov-12 23:26:47

Am new to this idea but recognise a lot of what constitutes being an introvert. And am glad to realise I am one and am quite happy being so.

And also recognise that during my life a lot of people have felt that i should be behaving differently - "go and play with the nice children!" - actually i'd rather not.

"You won't succeed if you can't sell yourself" - possibly true but better than acting totally against my personality and pretending to be Ms OutThere and right on.

Have learned after a long time to bluff my way through social events and attempts by friends to take me out of myself and give me a good time. I am blessed with very nice friends but am equally happy to spend some time alone.

i sometimes imagine my perfect holiday in order to relax and go to sleep. Destination is unimportant but there needs to be a pile of books i haven't yet read, a comfy bed and some interesting countryside that I can take the dog for a walk in. And absolutely NO people that i need to please/interact with in any way.

Have often thought that counting sea birds on a Hebredean island would be an ideal job for me.

Can i join?

ZombiesFumbleandStumble Sat 24-Nov-12 23:27:19

Hello. I joined the last thread fir a while - mat have nc since then.

i hardly ever go to works events, I claim childcare issues sometimes which is generally accepted as I do dash out most night for the nursery/childminder pickup.

I have to work tomorrow so a 6 day week and am hosting a full day of training so no hiding. Would much prefer a day tucked up at home.

EnglishGirlApproximately Sat 24-Nov-12 23:31:03

I was a shop manager but I'm going to be a travel agent. Still dealing with the public but hopefully much calmer. Its a job I've always liked the idea of but could never afford to do but after living on maternity pay its ok. Only part time while Ds is tiny.

I remember you saying you were a jewellery tutor, how lovely. I used to do a bit before Ds look over every waking moment. I did have a sort out of my findings last week in anticipation of having some spare time one day.

NorksAreMessy Sat 24-Nov-12 23:31:54

occult you are the very definition of an introvert. WELCOME
One of our mantras is 'boring is good'.

One. Theory is that introverts are easily stimulated (no sniggering at the back smile ). In other words, we get joy from low-stimulus activities. We do not need to take part in high-risk or high energy activities to have pleasure. I have no desire whatsoever to jump out of an aero plane. I get a lot of satisfaction walking the dogs around the hills for a couple of hours.

Extroverts are looking for the next thrill, as they are NOT excited by the low-energy stimuli that content us.

I have not explained this very well, perhaps somebody cleverer can précis it for me?

EnglishGirlApproximately Sat 24-Nov-12 23:32:17

Hello gnu and zombies smile

NorksAreMessy Sat 24-Nov-12 23:34:55

SIX day week and HOSTING training. zombies
You are going to need a quiet room or a book nook after all that

PimpMyHippo Sat 24-Nov-12 23:43:01

Thanks for the welcome and suggestions smile It's a small company and I'm a receptionist, so lots of big smiles and small talk in the waiting room... I am exhausted when I get home! In an ideal world I'd live on a lovely little smallholding and potter about with my ducks and goats and ponies, occasionally retreating into my study to churn out another best-seller. grin

EnglishGirlApproximately Sat 24-Nov-12 23:46:01

That sounds lovely. I'll be in the house overlooking the sea doing a bit of baking and making stuff smile

NorksAreMessy Sat 24-Nov-12 23:49:55

Yes pimp that is what introverts LOVE to do. I could potter FOREVER.
I live on a farm (not mine, just in the farmhouse) and can potter happily around the garden, studio, kitchen all day.
Baking and making. BLiss

Jingleflobba Sat 24-Nov-12 23:59:33

Oh here you are!! The last thread went poof rather quickly...
Am currently curled up on the sofa having had an unfortunate but lucky escape tonight..
I had been invited to a 'do' at DH's works local pub, an overnighter, DC's invited. Utter nightmare, I would know a few people who would all be pissed and sharing in jokes and I just know it would have been a new layer of hell.
BUT I have a poorly DD who needs her home comforts and Calpol so I have to stay here, much to DH's disappointment but frankly, my relief.
Why does he try and get me to go to things like this when he knows I hate them? He ends up in a corner talking work and I end up making embarrassing small talk with people I barely know..

Mathsdidi Sun 25-Nov-12 00:00:08

Hi all. I was on the last thread too but can't remember what name I was using, probably one ending in didi.

I have 3 Christmas nights out to go to. You will be horrified but I actually organised the works one blush. Purely so it is only our department rather than the whole school, and it's close to my house, and it's just a meal rather than a 'proper' night out like some of the others wanted. I also took over the secret santa organisation. I then have a meal out with my 'orchestra' (there are about 10 of us and we're all complete amateurs but we quite enjoy playing music together and I don't have to talk to anyone most times), and a theatre trip with year 8 from school.

I'm not going to dp's works night out and he's not coming to mine. We always claim childcare issues to get out of each others but can't really get out of our own without offending someone.

Jingleflobba Sun 25-Nov-12 00:09:46

This is why I like being self employed. No works 'do... grin

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