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Coming to terms with no more babies

(9 Posts)
Teletubby Thu 20-Nov-03 19:56:54

I have two beautiful healthy girls and although i don't necessarily know that i want to have any more children the concept of knowing that that's it, my special moments of birth, pregnancy etc are over get me down. My husband is adamant that there are to be no more and i'm incredibly grateful for what i have but it just seems that it's all over too quickly and it's like i want to rewind and do it all again. Does anyone have any tips on getting my head around the fact that that's it for me?

fio2 Thu 20-Nov-03 20:22:44

it might be for me too, at 26 I really wanted at least 1 maybe 2 more - but if it turns out my dd's problems are genetic that might be it shit that wasn't much help, sorry

misdee Thu 20-Nov-03 20:42:41

sorry cant help. am waiting for tests on one of my kids to see whats going on, still trying to try and get head round the thought of possible no more kids.

Katherine Thu 20-Nov-03 20:51:25

Know what you mean Teletubby. I've got 3 and am rushed off my feet at the moment. I do feel that if you have too many you can't give enough quality time to each of them, homework and stuff but I still hate the thought that this is it. I would happily keep on going but DH says this is it - and he's right. We don't want to have to move house, get a people carrier etc.

I've had to grit my teeth and have just passed on all my maternity clothes and newborn gear. However I have to admit that secretly I'm thinking there are plenty of people who will lend me stuff if it did happen again.

So I don't think you can get your head round it if you want more deep down. You just have to focus on what you've got and who knows maybe.......

tallulah Thu 20-Nov-03 21:00:07

When you find them teletubby, let me know. Still not quite got my head around it either & youngest now 12.

Demented Thu 20-Nov-03 21:53:43

Teletubby, we have two DSs and like your DH my DH is adamant there will be no more, I would like another one though. Don't have any advice I'm afraid but just to say I know where you are coming from. I think about the future and how mental life would be with three, my DS1 would be at school, DS2 perhaps at nursery and a new baby, you may as well put me on a bit of elastic to help me back and forwards to the school (it would be three times a day) and how would I fit in all the b/feeds, nappy changes and attention a newborn needs but it still doesn't put me off, just as soon as I have convinced myself that two is enough I feel myself getting all broody again wanting another. I have even said to DH that if he lets me have a third I will let him have the snip but even that is not enough to convince him.

Jollymum Fri 21-Nov-03 19:15:43

Teletubby, I'm 43 and my mum told me (I'm one of seven!) that one day I would know, just know when I had had enough children. She's right, I had my 4th child (wanted by me because I was SOOO broody but not really by Dh) and now he's five and at school, I have realised that I would be really unwilling to go back. HOWEVER, I work with children and babies and still cannot pass a baby without picking one up and snuggling it. I have even been known to be in my daughter's room snuggling her Baby Newborn (or whatever it's called ) and walking around with it, jigging it up and down. If God decided, or the condoms broke tomorrow, I would keep my baby but at my age, and having four already I would be worried about having a S/N child. As I work with kids like this, I know what I'm talking about but I think it just hits you one day, tomorrow I cannot, really cannot wake up in the night and feed the little wotsit!! Still would like to have the kind of life where I could breastfeed (100%) a little one, no rushing off to school etc but life was never like that for me and that IS one thing I REALLY regret. I wonder if anyone else couldn't breastfeed because of social/school run/work committments? When I'd had my first child, I was working weekends/nights to make ends meet, worked all through second and third and by the fourth had my own business and fitted baby in around work. Secret longing-have another baby, someone to take other kids to school, do shopping etc and have ALL DAY to sit down with baby, breastfeed, watch crap telly and be a real lazy mum. No housework, paperwork or making costumes...reading practice, all the other rhings the kids do, just me a massive pair of boobs and a baby! Aahhh well, just thinking..

mieow Fri 21-Nov-03 20:29:52

I have 3 beautiful children, 2 with CP, and we have decided that we will not have any more children, and I hate that feeling of never being pregnant, never feeling a baby kick, and all those special moments

marialuisa Fri 21-Nov-03 20:57:31

Jollymum, I chose not to breast-feed for "work"reasons (iwas a student and started my finals when DD was 6 wks old). Have to say though that I am not in the least bit regretful that I didn't breast-feed, things were dead easy from the start, there was none of that can't get out of the house, tied to the sofa, bleeding nipples stuff to deal with. Just a baby to enjoy.Before DD was born I did wonder whether I'd crave to feed her myself, but TBH when my milk came in, all I felt was revulsion.(And no, i don't have any nang-ups about b/f or whatever, before anyone attacks me, it just wasn't for me).

I'm still in my mid-20's but don't imagine i'll have another for various medical/emotional/financial reasons. TBH I just enjoy DD growing and developing so much that I don't long to go back. Before she was born I was the broodiest person ever and stayed that way until she was about 6 months old, then it just went. We visited a friend with a newborn last w/e and I just found the baby bemusing. I used to sing/chat to DD all the time, but it seemed ridiculous with friend's DS. DH describes DD as being a "blob" until she got to about 9 months, I used to think there was something wrong with him, but kind of see his point now.

Am I expelled from mumsnet?

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