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(15 Posts)
handlemecarefully Wed 19-Nov-03 16:10:44

I had heard that a colleague's wife had given birth to a 28 week old baby last week. So I sent an email along the lines of 'Congratulations - all the best to all of you and I hope the new arrival goes from strength to strength'. I just assumed the baby would be in SCBU. Well the colleague phoned me to tell me that the baby had been born still after placental abruption. My colleague sounded so brave and his voice barely faltered.

Feel very emotional about it (not helped by being pregnant myself)

Beccarollo Wed 19-Nov-03 16:14:49

Oh no, its awful when you hear news like that - you just cant shake it out of your head can you - doubly hard when your pregnant yourself


Jemma7 Wed 19-Nov-03 16:19:28

How awful HMC!

Think i would've burst into tears myself - seems so so sad, sometimes makes it seem worse with them being so strong and coping so well!

Try not to feel bad - you weren't to know!

doormat Wed 19-Nov-03 16:40:33

hmc how awful, you werent to know. Very sad

WSM Wed 19-Nov-03 16:43:41

Agree with everythimg said here already, sympathy and hugs.

GeorginaA Wed 19-Nov-03 16:50:35

oh how awful huge hugs.

Kazziegirl Wed 19-Nov-03 17:03:40

Such awful news - a family friend of ours has just gone through the same and it's just so devastating for everyone. Thinking of you all.

Marina Wed 19-Nov-03 20:19:51

hmc, don't feel bad about the e-mail. We got a lovely jolly card asking about how my bump was doing just after we lost our son and the friend in question was mortified. But we didn't mind - she wasn't to know and the sentiments expressed were so kind and interested, the timing was just bad luck. Hugs to you and that poor family.

princesspeahead Wed 19-Nov-03 20:24:28

oh god hmc, poor you. I echo marina - they will have thought you were kind but unfortunately not fully informed. maybe it would help you feel better if you sent them a card telling them how sorry you are for their loss, so you know that they know how you feel about it?

janh Wed 19-Nov-03 20:49:36

That's a good idea, pph. Sympathy for you and them from me, too, hmc. xxx

anais Wed 19-Nov-03 20:56:46


StressyHead Wed 19-Nov-03 21:25:50

message withdrawn

handlemecarefully Wed 19-Nov-03 21:48:37

That's a terrible story Stressyhead - I hope the poor woman got some help because she must have been desperately distressed to have deluded herself like that. Would have been really hard for her partner too.

Thanks everyone for your messages. I will be sending my workmate and his wife a sympathy card as suggested.

It's just so sad thinking of that little life that never made it. I can't begin to imagine what he and his wife must be feeling and how they will heal after this...they bury their baby later this week.

StressyHead Wed 19-Nov-03 22:08:28

message withdrawn

tigermoth Thu 20-Nov-03 10:18:35

what sad stories. You weren't to know, hmc and yes, do send another card. I suppose you might have to be prepared for the fact that your colleague and his wife, if she ever sees you, might get upset about your pregnancy and baby (not with you). I guess you may need to gently broach the subject with your colleague in a little while. You sound very sensitive to them and I'm sure you'll be able to find the right words to say.


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