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*&*^%**&)*^ Microsoft

(6 Posts)
musica Mon 10-Nov-03 11:55:15

I hate Microsoft so much. I have just WASTED 15 minutes of my life, 15 minutes which I will never have again, 15 minutes which I could have spent with my children, trying to get the f***** start menu toolbar to go back to the bottom of the screen. All I was trying to do was find out something on the calendar, but no, the start menu had to explode into some huge box that took over half the screen, and then I managed to get it into a bar again, but it was at the TOP of the screen. WHY DOES WINDOWS DO THIS? YOU MISS A LITTLE WITH THE MOUSE (and I'm talking a millimetre or so out) AND THE WHOLE SCREEN GOES BANANAS.

Sorry. I'm annoyed!

Janstar Mon 10-Nov-03 12:07:55

Heard a very funny programme on radio 4 on Saturday, about what would happen if computers took over the world. Basically, it would go to exterminate you, and then a message would come up saying it had performed an illegal operation and would close - and lots more of the same. It was a scream.

Zerub Mon 10-Nov-03 12:12:48

This is my favourite at the moment...


At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM. had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release (by MR Welch himself) stating: If GM had kept up with technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought"Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five per cent of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light. .

9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

10. Occasionally, and for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until yousimultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM. would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50%. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.

12. Every time GM. introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.

bobsmum Mon 10-Nov-03 12:20:15

Get a Mac

WideWebWitch Mon 10-Nov-03 12:25:56

some of these are funny and relevant I think'll probably like Windows Hidden Message.

musica Mon 10-Nov-03 12:31:19

LOL www - very funny!

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