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Feel like the poor one!!

(3 Posts)
Lips79 Sun 25-Sep-11 07:30:26

Just need a wee whinge, I am being a idiot but getting it off my chest my help.

When I had my eldest child I went to a new mum's group, 4 years later we are still 'friends' (some of us more than others) but I am really struggling now. I am the 'poor one' of the group and it is really getting to me now. Two have massive houses (complete wit hot tubs) the others have not such big homes but perfect homes, ones with beautiful decor and lovely furnishings.

Then there is my home.... it is a run down 3 bed semi that we can't afford to decorate. I feel ashamed to invite people too. I just feel like everyone is looking down their noses at me.

Then there is childcare, most of them have free child care offered by family, mine costs me a fortune and lastly there is babies.............

I would give anything to have another but get really sick but hubby says no as I get too sick and money is tight, one of the girls is pregnant and constantly says we can afford it so why not. Then there is the 'births chat', they all had really simple births, not me, 2 c-sections, both with complications...

Okay rant over, I am not trying to be horrid and good luck to people for what they have but maybe I should remove myself from 'the group' as it is really getting to me now.

LeoTheLateBloomer Sun 25-Sep-11 07:43:43

Hi Lips.

Maybe backing off a little bit would help. Spend time thinking about what you've got and how that makes you lucky. Material possessions aren't what makes us rich and happy.

You have 2 children who have got through difficult births, so try to see yourself as lucky that you all survived it rather than unlucky that you didn't have an easy time.

You have a DH who has your well-being at heart and is obviously sensible enough to understand that you don't have the finances to support another baby.

Please don't compare yourself to others. The 'looking down their noses' could well be imagined. You have plenty: a DH, 2 DCs and a 3 bedroomed house.

Please look at the positives (and be glad you didn't put this in AIBU because you'd have been flamed I'm afraid).

Lips79 Sun 25-Sep-11 07:52:34

I do have plenty and I know I am lucky. I guess I struggle as I have had a hard life, a REALLY hard life, the story of my childhood would make your toes curl, my early 20's similar so I guess I had hoped my adult life would be easier....

I didn't put it in the AIBU because I know I am .

I think I do need to back off as I don't want to fall out with anyone.

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