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Corny jokes thread (to cheer up Dadslib)

(48 Posts)
Freddiecat Fri 17-Oct-03 12:53:33

Police are investigating reports that the singer Sophie Ellis-Bextor was found dead in a french footballer's hotel room.

Reports are coming through of murder on Zidane's floor....

Jenie Fri 17-Oct-03 12:59:27

Can't think of any, sorry.

suedonim Fri 17-Oct-03 13:01:15

Hey, my son's girlfriend is Zidane's cousin!! She won't be happy that you're casting 'nasturtiums'.

forestfly Fri 17-Oct-03 13:02:24

How corny?

What do you call a donkey with three legs:

wonkey

Is that corny enough?

dadslib Fri 17-Oct-03 13:05:25

Message withdrawn

lucy123 Fri 17-Oct-03 13:11:22

how many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?





2, but they have to be *really small*

forestfly Fri 17-Oct-03 13:12:37

Thats morer like it. LOL

dadslib Fri 17-Oct-03 13:14:42

Message withdrawn

lucy123 Fri 17-Oct-03 13:17:01

Actually now I've just reminded myslef of my favourite:

How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
472. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle...

POssibly that's only funny if you're a techie. For eveyone else:

How many helpdesk people does it take to chnage a lightbulb?
none - the lightbulb is working fine in my office...

ThomCat Fri 17-Oct-03 13:19:02

Never try and buy an itellectually challenged dwarf -
It's not big and it's not clever!

lucy123 Fri 17-Oct-03 13:21:03

thomcat - that one made me groan! perhaps we need an accronym for that. GOL?

ThomCat Fri 17-Oct-03 13:29:56

I love it!

bobsmum Fri 17-Oct-03 13:50:08

What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk

i'll leave now....

Tom Fri 17-Oct-03 13:50:29

Q: How many MP's does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to form a fact-finding
committee to learn more about how it's done.

dadslib Fri 17-Oct-03 13:52:37

Message withdrawn

lilibet Fri 17-Oct-03 13:52:53

what do you call a sheep with no legs?

A Cloud

sunchowder Fri 17-Oct-03 13:59:22

One from DD:

What do you call a cow lying on the barn floor?

Ground Beef.

Angeliz Fri 17-Oct-03 14:03:28

what do you call a dinasor with one eye?

dyathinkhesawus

Frenchgirl Fri 17-Oct-03 14:29:35

i love all these

dadslib Fri 17-Oct-03 14:43:04

Message withdrawn

elena2 Fri 17-Oct-03 14:43:34

Good King Wenceslas phones up his local Italian takeaway.
"I'll have a pepperoni pizza please" requests the Monarch.
"Certainly your Majesty" says the manager. "Would you like your usual?"
"Yes please," replies the King. "Deep pan, crisp and even."

elena2 Fri 17-Oct-03 14:45:18

Did you hear about the short-sighted circumciser?

He got the sack.

Northerner Fri 17-Oct-03 14:47:18

ROFL!!!!!!!

Blu Fri 17-Oct-03 16:06:40

Dadslib:

Q What d'you call a blind deer with it's legs and **** shot off?
A Still no f*****g idea!

Q.How do you get a camel through the eye of a needle?
A. use a blender!

Q. How do gynaecologists decorate the hallway?
A. Through the letterbox!

Nome Fri 17-Oct-03 16:19:11

Q: What's the fastest thing in the world?
A: Milk, because it's past-ur-ise before you see it.

And one that has worked in every language I know, and then some...

Q: What's green and goes backwards?
A: [sniff]

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