What is the rudest thing your mother in law has said to you?

[MrsFizzywig]

With MILs being very much in the news it got me thinking what are the rudest things people's MILs have said to them?
Here are some mine has said to me over the years.

"Do you force (DH) to wear those clothes so other women wont fancy him?" (on DH's choice of clothes)

"How do you know he's not having an affair?" (when DH was late home)

"You are too old to have healthy babies" (on being told I was expecting- I was 29 at the time)

"There's something wrong with his toes" (Her first words on seeing her first grandchild)

She has tought me one very valuable lesson though, and that is how NOT to treat my future daughters in law!!

[carocaro]

"give me that child for a week and I'd have him sorted" That child being her 2nd grandson who was 3 at the time and just had a whine about ice cream.

"I can't any food that is glued together, so what have you got?"

[kickingking]

While telling DH about a friend's new girlfriend: "He went on and on about how beautiful she is, but she's not at all. But then it's funny what some people think is pretty, isn't it?"

At the time, I was 23, a size 6, with long shiny hair and clear skin. She was/is about 25 stone with rats tails for hair.

[trumpton]

"You will lok like a pregnant bridesmaid" On seeing my lovely Laura Ashley wedding dress.

" Oh my God. you have ruined my Birthday " on hearing that we were expecting DC3.

No I will stop there. She isn't mean just doesn't engage brain before openong mouth.

[ttalloo]

"Let's hope you'll be more careful this time" - her first words on hearing that I was pregnant for the third time after two MC. DH said I was being hypersensitive for being so upset about it that I cried on and off for the first trimester.

[Choufleur]

On buying me pants one christmas (btw I don't want pants from my mil) "I got you size 18 as you have a big bum". I was a size 10/12 at the time!

[Shinyshoes1]

my MIL has said loads, Fathers day she and DP's father came round.
I have a no shoes policy in this house and everyone knows it. I'm sick and tired of them thinking the rules don't apply to them.

Anyway she comes round fathers day and after the 4th time of asking her to remove her shoes she looks at me and says 'Shiny, it'll be cleaner if I kept them on judging by the state of it in here.'

My house is bloody clean, the bastard

[LadyInPink]

shinyshoes1 I would read that she meant her socks were so gross she would sully your floor My mil does the same thing, fil takes his off as soon as he's come in and said hello, she makes out her feet would be cold as we have wooden floors. I even have guest slippers but she won't entertain them however she insists we take ours off in hers as her carpets are 22yrs old and she can't afford to change them as she would have to change the whole house.

Apart from that she is a darling and we do get on very well so this thread isn't for me but i'm enjoying reading the other posts, and eagerly awaiting more

[melezka]

"You're not even a proper woman"

[Riveninside]

Have dd2 adopted and then you can have a proper baby.

[DogsBestFriend]

"Have dd2 adopted and then you can have a proper baby."

Oh Riven! :(

I know from your past threads that the woman's an utter bitch but that's something else. What a bitch.

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

'You can just put Mary on her BC, she was born abroad and it won't make any difference'. MiLs reaction to DD not having Mary anywhere in her name.
Riven that is so spiteful.

[DollyTwat]

'is it his?' on hearing the news I was pregnant with ds2

We'd only had sex once since ds1 was born and it was an accident, exh surprised to learn that it only takes one time to get pregnant.

Ds2 is the spitting image of his dad!

[CareyHunt]

Bloody hell, I thought my MIL was bad, but she seems like an angel compared to this lot.

We did have about 4 years at the beginning of my relationship with Dh when she would tell me how 'he and ex partner had such a lovely life....oooh, you should have seen their house, well,she kept it lovely. He really loved her you know', and then show me photos of dh and ex-partner together.

I had moved 500 miles away from everyone I knew so we could be near her and FIL. It went on through us getting married and having babies- i was so isolated and lonely it made me feel a bit nuts in the end.

[MrsFizzywig]

Interesting!. Some of these make my MIL look like a lightweight!.
Riven and DollyTwat your MILs sound horrible. Do your DP's support you?

[DollyTwat]

He's my exh!
No support whatsoever!
His mother had no idea why he had to have supervised access forca while (Cafcass recommendation) as her son is perfect you see!

[imcassie]

You are not academic, you aren't domesticated, you are not sporty and you don't have any charm. You do realise that the only reason he (dh) is interested in you is because you offer it on a plate.

[LadyInPink]

bloody hell some of these mil's are poisenous. at Rivan's and Dolly's - you are well rid of her Dolly.

[SockMunkee]

my exmil first tried to claim ds wasnt my exdp's baby then engaged all the neighbours in conversations and told them I had lied about being on the pill so I could get pregnant and trap him!
When I first met exdp we went away for the weekend, she went to my place late at night crying and told my flatmates I was a prostitute and had got him to take me to work in a different city so nobody would find out

[Tuppenyrice]

Spiteful stuff.

My MIL is pretty great but very self absorbed. When i had my first child she was very hands off and quite cold. She can also be rather tactless. 2 examples spring to mind:

"I just had to ring you to tell you how uncomfortable it made me feel when you told me you and your sister had put hairclips in my DGS's hair for fun. I think you may be making him gay." (he was 6 months at the time & laughed as we played.)
I replied "perhaps if you saw more of him you would know that he is well adjusted. And perhaps you should read more on the subject of homosexuality as I think you are probably born gay not turned gay."

And after giving me a lovely nightie for Christmas in a size 12-14 that swamped me she looked me up and down saying "it's very deceptive isn't it."
I was and still am an 8-10.

Nice.

[colditz]

Bizarrely, nobody is ever rude to me.

[DollyTwat]

Oh she's never rude to me, she does passive aggressive very well
Not as well as me though

[colditz]

I'm quite oblivious and don't notice when people are doing passive aggressive things. This pisses them off

[thumbwitch]

Mine's not too bad but she occasionally slips a sly one in:

"You should have married my other son" (the deadbeat loser who has lost his licence at least 5 times through DUI, who only works when he's out of money and then spends it all, who we currently have a restraining order against because of his violence when drunk - yeah, thanks MIL )

I didn't hear this one directly, DH (somewhat daft) told me:
"She's trying to break up this family!" when I refused to have Christmas lunch at hers, because said deadbeat brother would be there, no doubt drinking, despite the fact that he isn't supposed to when DH and DS are around.
NO, MIL, I am not the one splitting the family up, that would be your deadbeat loser son who should grow the fuck up, get himself a proper job and a life and stop drinking, fighting and whinging that everyone owes him something.

Apart from that, she's fine.

[5GoMadOnAZ650]

It's not something she has said but I think getting dp's wedding photos out from his first two weddings and showing them to our children was fairly unnecessary, especially when she describes how magical the brides looked etc..

[Mollymax]

Mine once told me that if dh and i split up, she would fight for custody of the children.