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Co-joined Twins

(11 Posts)
Lisav Wed 10-Oct-01 21:22:44

Did anyone see the series on CH4 called 'Joined'? I just saw the concluding part tonight and I have cried buckets! I was really hoping and praying for the Lawlers, their determination and faith was such an inspiration. I wasn't prepared for the outcome at all, their babies only lived for half an hour. Yet they rejoyed at the time they spent with them and just took it all with such remarkable dignity and bravery - I don't think I have ever cried so much over a tv programme before!

Not once did I hear them question 'why me?', they knew what the worst outcome would be yet they refused to let that bring them down, and she so rejoyced in her pregnancy. Even though their babies lived for such a short time you got the feeling that they gained so much from that, and the babies brought so much joy to them in that short time. I feel so emotional still! I have never witnessed such bravery and dignity. If that was me I would have cracked up long ago.

Watching something like that really does inspire you to make the most of what you have. Did anyone see this? I'd like to know what others thought of it.

Joe Thu 11-Oct-01 09:12:26

I watched it Lisav, I also had tears at the end. My husband couldnt watch the end, he felt they could have done more to try and save them, but I could see their resons behind the decision to cuddle them for the first and last time. I also feel very lucky. The twins looked very peaceful and the way they cuddled each other was lovely. Got to go and get a tissue again now.

Ariel Thu 11-Oct-01 10:05:12

yes lisav i also watched joined, what a truely fantastic programme.I simply cant beleive that being a mum to be in that position can be so strong and positive.What a remarkable couple,it shows how strong their faith was and how much it helped them.I have learnt since my daughter was labeled "disabled" that just because a child is born differant, does not mean their not perfect.I so much hope that this couple have happyness in the future,they deserve it.

Jodee Thu 11-Oct-01 12:35:20

Yes, I wept buckets too. I just felt so grateful for a healthy child, and guilty for the times I whinge about him. I so admire that couple's strength of character and faith and the courage to let the tv cameras into their lives.

Knakered Sat 13-Oct-01 01:06:54

I agree with all that has been said below --- however I found the final scenes, watching the actual death on screen of these beautiful babies very distressing on a personal level -- and although the parents obviously sanctioned the filming I am not sure how comfortable I am with this being broadcast -- is nothing sacred??

Binza Sat 13-Oct-01 19:26:05

Like everyone else has said I found it a deeply moving programme but for the first time ever I thought I was not going to be able to watch because it upset me so much. It wasn't the Lawlers but the girl Lucy in Africa. My heart went out to her in her total isolation. The surgeon had a total arrogance about him that I have had experience of in the medical profession many times.It came across as though the surgeons regarded her as a simple and poorly educated person who didn't even warrant the explanation that her girls could end up paralised by the surgery to separate them. Thank God they came through it safely but what that poor girl must have gone through doesn't bear thinking about.
As for the Lawlers I could completely see why they didn't want aggressive intervention for their girls but I did wonder if they were blocking a lot out before the birth. They did seem to have extraordinary faith and I found myself hoping they were going to be okay. They both seemed to accept the girls death but neither of them cried and again I wondered if it was all too well hidden. I may be completely wrong and I'm certainly not knocking them perhaps there are people like them it's just I've never met any before.

Lisav Sat 13-Oct-01 21:58:32

I agree Binza, I wanted to smack that surgeon! I wonder if he would have acted the same if the mother had been white and well educated? Makes you think about the recent case of Josie and Mary too. The American woman whose girls shared a heart and lived until they were seven, she could have had them separated and saved one of their lives, but she loved them both and couldn't sacrifice one for the other, so she chose to leave them be. Now she was a Police Officer so fairly well educated. Over here, that couple were from a poor family in Malta and they had to go to court as the doctors arrogantly ruled that 'they knew best', again, would that have happened if they had been British teachers for example? I do think that it is the parents right to decide these things, after all, they have to live with that decision for the rest of their lives, the doctors don't.

As for the Lawlers, well she did cry when the babies were handed to her and she realised they were dying. And I am sure there were many tears off camera too. But I thought they wanted to show the world the struggle people go through, the biases, the arrogance, the hope and the joy many people get from co-joined twins, even if they only last half-an-hour. Maybe they wanted to dispell the prejudicies people have about any child with a disability. I really hope my sister saw it as she's having a Downs Syndrome child with a major heart defect, and if anything will inspire her, that programme would have done.

But those bloody doctors! Grrrrr!

jasper Tue 05-Feb-02 03:02:10

Just found this old thread which has become relevant again following the large piece in today's Sun about the couple expecting conjoined twins in May. The babies share a heart and the gist of the article is that the parents have decided to separate them, which means one of them will die.
Quite apart from the heartbreaking situation for this family, and the moral issues involved, what really got to me today was why the heck is this in the Sun newspaper? Would any of you approach or cooperate with the Sun if you found yourself in a similar situation?
I just cannot get over people turning their deepest family traumas into national "news".
Am I completely alone in this viewpoint?

bloss Tue 05-Feb-02 09:21:56

Message withdrawn

MalmoMum Tue 05-Feb-02 16:35:20

I thought the piece was quite sympathetic to the couple but the ever present worry is what happens when things go wrong.

As they have both been married before (*locked in loveless marrriages*), he's a bus driver and they live with their under-one and his child from his previous relationship in a 3-bed house in St Albans they prob could find some use for the money in the coming months.

Pupuce Tue 05-Feb-02 21:44:54

There are some people who will do strange thing for their 5 minutes of fame - not suggesting this is the case in this instance.

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