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If you're a WIIT and you know it post in here II

(972 Posts)
AmandaCooper Thu 03-Feb-11 22:19:22

old thread here

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AmandaCooper Thu 03-Feb-11 22:27:50

jbells we xposted there sorry. That sounds mental, what happened?

jbells Thu 03-Feb-11 22:34:48

erm not sure really, things have been up and down with us for a while, hes gone to bed. he doesnt seem to want to make any effort to make things better and i cant stay living in limbo. dont know wot to do for the best spend life thats not terrible but its not good, or have a life as a single mother with 2 kids confused guess the best thing to do would be go to sleep and pretend the whole day didnt happen, doesnt help that were going thru this when im 25 wks pregnant

AmandaCooper Thu 03-Feb-11 22:40:53

No I agree. Far better to look at these things in the morning. Late at night things can look worse than they are. Get yourself off to bed xxx

AmandaCooper Thu 03-Feb-11 22:46:46

If you want to talk about it tonight or any time, we're here.

squirrel007 Fri 04-Feb-11 00:19:21

quod although I didn't get sick, I found the exhaustion really hard to deal with in the first trimester. I am definitely glad it was a quiet period at work and I could keep my head down. But, saying that, plenty of people manage to do tough jobs during pregnancy and get through ok.

nannyl definitely think you should complain - that sounds like awful treatment

jbells Sorry to hear you and your DP are arguing I think you are right that things always seem better in the morning. Plus, having another child is an emotional time for both of you. I certainly wouldn't like to be making important decisions right now. Do you think there might be something else bothering him that he hasn't mentioned?

Amanda thanks for sorting out the new thread!

jbells Fri 04-Feb-11 08:34:02

thanks AC well not sure how things are going to be today but i slept better than i thought atleast

squirral- god knows we have had a few underlying problems for a long time. we never make any time for each other anymore i cant remember the last time we had a nite out together or went on a date or had any intimate child free time. weve both become parents and lost the ability to be a couple i guess

WhyWait Fri 04-Feb-11 11:18:18

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

jbells Fri 04-Feb-11 11:53:47

thanks whywait- fingers crossed you will get on this course, i have always thought about doingthe pgce just never know whether ive got the time and motivation to actually go thru with it hmm

mrswantstobeamum Fri 04-Feb-11 12:50:03

Hi Jbells, so sorry to hear about your situation with DP. I hope you are able to sort out some of your issues over the weekend. Regardless of what happens, make sure to look after yourself.

Nannyl, sorry to hear how sick you're still feeling and about your terrible hospital experience. I also agree that you should complain.

bebejones Fri 04-Feb-11 15:14:22

Watching ER from the beginning (gotta love Sky) lusting over a young George!

Feeling like crap today. Got DDs cold & been coughing so much my throat feels raw! Went to GP about my hip & when I fell he reckons I have bruised the bone & cartilage so could be at least another couple of months before it's better. Plus have a tooth that needs filling and will have to go to dentist on Monday & consultant next week too. Falling apart! Feel 88 not 28!

WW - Fingers crossed on the B'ham course.

JBells - so sorry you have been having problems with your OH. Is there anyone who could look after your DD for a few hours or even overnight to give you some time alone? <hugs>

WYorksLass Fri 04-Feb-11 15:48:30

Sending hugs to everyone today as it seems you all need them (((((((((())))))))))

Nanny, you should complain. Is this hospital in a town beginning with H by any chance?
I am fortunate to have the choice of a few hospitals within half an hour. The one i've chosen isn't the nearest but has a good reputation.

A colleague told me she is pregnant today. Weirdly her baby is due the day after mine!

bebejones Fri 04-Feb-11 16:31:31

Been thinking about this Nannyl - and I know you probably don't feel up to much at all at the moment. But that 'care' hmm is dangerous. You were lucky but someone else might not be. Please complain when you feel up to it. I'm just in such utter shock that you were treated like that. Disgraceful.

I just had a mug of hot cordial & have eaten loads of homemade shortbread (which I feel a bit guilty about...I still have 9lbs to lose & have been very naughty lately) feel rubbish & have sent DH to Boots on the way home to get me some Night Nurse. I need sleep!

<Heads off to bar car> wine one for me....winewinewinewinewine (for anyone else who wants to join me!)

jbells Fri 04-Feb-11 16:54:10

i will take u up on one of them drinks bebe i havnt had one drop of alcohol whilst pg so im sure a virtual glass or 20 will be fine i hope u start to feel in less pain and less poorly soon

nannyl- u really shud complain, my friend is a pals officer and they are really good at dealing with these types of situations, no wonder u want a home birth now

mrs- just an arguement free wkend wud be nice its hard because its like theres extra pressure to be happy when your pregnant so when your not it makes u feel even more sirry for yourself

i also went to the dentist today and need a filling think its the first one ive had since i was about 12

bebejones Fri 04-Feb-11 17:21:17

JBells - having kids wrecks your teeth! I had had no 'proper' dental work before DD. This will be my 3rd filling in 2 years & also had a wisdom tooth out! Will be drinking a pint of milk & eating 20 yoghurts a day next PG!

Really hope you have a better weekend.

jbells Fri 04-Feb-11 17:29:13

thanks and u, hope u and DH have some relaxing time together

i had no problems when pg with DD, but this pg my skin has gone awful and my teeth are getting wrecked oh well im pretty sure this will be my last baby

MrsSatsuma Fri 04-Feb-11 17:36:35

jbells Hope you get things sorted. Sounds like you need some couple time - is there anyone who cna babysit while you do a couple thing, at least for a few hours? Don't talk about anything serious, just go out for dinner and relax or something.

AC thanks for moving the thread.

I need one of those drinks.... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I need to win the lottery so I can quit my job ASAP!!!!!!!!!!

And.... breathe.

jbells Fri 04-Feb-11 17:57:39

mrssat- my mum would babysit, i just feel guilty about DP not seeing DD at the weekend because lately he seems to be getting home later and later every nite a good nite is him seeing her for an hour b4 her quick bath and bed some nites it is ten minutes and it breaks my heart when she jumps up so excited to see him and then gets 20 minutes of not even his undivided attention doesnt seem to bother him tho

bebejones Fri 04-Feb-11 18:31:42

JBells - My DH is the same with DD. Yesterday he saw her for 20mins all day...and that was while we had dinner! Then he wonders why she acts up all the time when he is with her...er..because she wants your attention! Think she gets really bored being with me all the time!

If you don't want to deny your OH some time with your DD, why not do something family orientated. Doesn't have to be expensive. Just getting out and doing something different all together.

jbells Fri 04-Feb-11 19:53:15

its soooo upsetting isnt it bebe u can see them crying out for there attention i know that DD must get bored just being with me all the time and there is only somuch time and effort i can put in with her b4 i get to the end of my tether or run out of things to do

he got in a quatre past 7 when i was putting her to bed so hasnt seen her at all, i cant even look at him it makes my skin boil, when i am working on those 2 days a week i am running out of work to get to her even tho its only been 6 hours. i just feel like work comes b4 the happiness of our family constantly he works for virgin for god sake not like hes a brain surgeon saving lives

sorry for rant if i dont get it out on here i will end up argueing with him and i havnt got the energy would prefer to not talk at all. oh and he came in and if he baths her i always go into the bathroom while he puts her to bed and pick up the clothes, nappy etc, he went to the bathroom left them on the floor, went in the bedroom made himself a cigarette in the mean time i put her in her cot pick up clothes and stuff put a wash on, clean up kitchen and front room and he is still outside smoking nd has not helped at all... yet the irony is he was telling me yesterday how much help he gives me hmm i wish i knew what help this was

bebejones Fri 04-Feb-11 20:06:30

DH is always having a go at me for snapping at DD or getting wound up by her. But it's hard when she needs stuff to do all the time. My brain hurts!! She's so active & a little sponge that she nees stimulation all day long. It's wearing isn't it?!

I know what you mean about their 'help'! If I ever get cross and say that he doesn't help I get the fact that he is the only one working thrown in my face. He is the wage earner & that is his contribution & that's how he helps & I would, apparently, be more than welcome to go out & work full time while he 'sits at home'. I love being at home really & looking after DD, but is it too much to ask that he could take dirty plates/glasses to the kitchen or pick his dirty clothes up off the floor & put them in the laundry bin. He always has a go that he doesn't have clean clothes/socks/pants. I'm not a mind reader & I'm not going to go sifting through all the piles of stuff trying to work out what needs washing. Really winds me up! So you have all my sympathy, it's really frustrating!

jbells Fri 04-Feb-11 20:12:55

bebe im so glad to have someone that understands my DD is like a whilwind she is on the go constantly whenever i am out and about with her people always comment on how i must be worn out keeping up with her (i am) and on the washing front i know exactly wot u mean the other day DP came into me in the morning and ask where his boxers were i sed in your draw or the clean wash pile... no there not the ones i wear 4 work confused oh rite well if u know u need something clean y cant u put a wash on, funny creatures these men, cant live with them, cant live without them

the main thing i wish is that they had any idea how tiring it is to look after a toddler and try and keep a house organised, apparantly going to work is much harder hmm i have done both and i would say SAHM is the harder of the 2

bebejones Fri 04-Feb-11 20:26:40

Working full time in a job you hate - hard work & miserable

Being a SAHM with a newborn - tiring, but fairly easy (even if it doesn't seem it at the time)

Being a SAHM with a toddler - exhausting! Mentally & physically!

Love how these men just assume that we know what they need/want to wear day to day without them actually telling us! hmm

Last night DH asked me if he washed some socks & put them on the radiator if they would be dry by morning (this was about 6.45) I said yes, so he takes a pile downstairs. At 8pm I go downstairs & the washing machine isn't on, I think it must have finished...no! Ask him why he didn't put it on 'Oh I didn't know what settings to use, but I did put the detergent capsule in'! hmm I must have told him how to work the damn machine a hundred times! It's not rocket science!

jbells Fri 04-Feb-11 20:46:12

lol thats hillarious

DP works in a job he really likes tho (mayb to much)

i mean dont get me wrong i wouldnt swap staying at home with DD for going back to my fairly easy decent paid job ever, i love being with her (most the time) sometimes it wud just be nice if he recognised what hard work it actually is

were both sat in the living room and have been for the past hr and have not sed 2 words to each other... the silence bothers me more than argueing i think another glass of virtual wine is in order

bebejones Fri 04-Feb-11 21:00:12

I am sat with my laptop MNing, DH is sat with his laptop playing a game & watching the rugby. We ought to load up MSN messenger & have a conversation!! (He doesn't talk to me when the rugby is on coz I apparently say stupid things hmm, like 'It's just a game!'wink)

I hated my job, but I would go back if I really had to (although technically what I did before doesn't exist) but I was working for his company anyway! I wouldn't swap being with DD though. Everytinme she does something new or learns something I feel so proud...I taught her to do it!

wine wine wine

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