Really sick of my dad

[pastaplease]

This is really just a rambling way to get things off my chest. I'm just so fed-up with my dad.

We were always very close throughout my twenties, speaking on the phone almost every day. Despite being in a relationship throughout those years, my dad was the person who I turned to with difficulties and questions.

He left my mum shortly after I left home at the age of 18. It was a terrible marriage and I only wished he'd left her sooner. He found someone else and we (his new partner and I) got on very well. My sister (younger) however, wouldn't forgive him for leaving for years and stopped all contact with him. I was the only link between them. It was stressful, but I kept things together.

A few years ago he had an affair, left his partner and is now married to another woman. I'm still in touch with his ex-partner because she's a good person and was always very kind to me. My sister is now talking to my dad and all's well between them. I was very disappointed that my dad had an affair and I know that he treated his ex-partner very shabbily. He knows that, because I told him several times.

Our relationship since then has become extremely strained. We can't talk without having an argument. He's becoming incredibly 'superior' and thinks that everything should revolve around him. It reached the point when I called him a bully last week. It was water off a duck's back to him, I think.

I'm also annoyed that, despite being retired and in his late fifties, he never visits. I had PND with DD (who's now 2.5) and he knows it, but he's never offered to help me out. This year he's visited once, for half a day. We've been to see him, but it was non-stop arguments and shouting. Awful. Incidentally, on the phone he always asks how "the baby" is. She's 2.5, not a baby, and she has a name! I know this is minor, but it's just a bit annoying. I see other people with help from family and I can't help feeling short-changed.

I'm just starting to think that there's no point bothering with him anymore. Every time we speak he's critical and negative about me.

Rant over. Sorry!

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

Hard, but you can't live other people's lives for them.
IIWY, I would stop (if you are the one who phones) phoning him.
You can't change him or his views/behaviour etc.
Do you have a DH or DP?