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Q&A on back to school and bedwetting with agony aunt Jenni Trent-Hughes

(48 Posts)
CatherineHMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 22-Jul-10 10:18:49

With the end of school term fast approaching (or indeed already here for some folks) September might feel blissfully far away, but with school uniform already taunting us from the shops, it'll feel like no time at all before we're back fighting with name tags and buying new pencil cases.

DryNites expert Jenni Trent-Hughes is available to help with any anxieties you might have about getting your child prepared for school. Are they moving on to a new stage or perhaps starting for the first time at "big" school?? Does staying in "routine" all summer help children, or should we all just relax and then work on easing them back into a routine slowly after a long summer off?

As an agony aunt and regular writer and commentator on social issues, Jenni is happy to answer any queries about you or your child's mental well-being, but as a DryNites expert she's also well placed to offer advice on bedwetting too. If your child wets the bed, are you concerned about how going back to school will affect him or her?

Post your questions on any child-related or bedwetting issues for Jenni here by Weds 28th July and we'll put them to her and post her advice on the Mumsnet DryNites area. Everyone who asks a question will be entered into a prize draw to win £100 vouchers for a store of your choice.

FiveGoMadInDorset Thu 22-Jul-10 10:46:03

Hi Jenni,

I have a daughter who was 4 in January and due to start school in September. She was ding well with her toilet training up until last November when she had constipation and since then it has all gone to pot. She is now on medication, laculose and Senna and will not poo in the loo at all only in a nappy or she soils her pants. She also has up to 4 wee accidents in a day, she know she wants to go, she sits on the floor and wiggles but unless we physically pick her up and put her on the loo she seems unable or unwilling to go by herself, she is better when out but equally as bad at nursery. I don't know whether she is lazy, or what. We haven't even got near doing anything at night. Any suggestions. She does suffer from anxiety and has certain OCD tendencies.

Thank you.

FiveGoMadInDorset Thu 22-Jul-10 10:46:51

Sorry forgot I am concerned that this will contyinue when she starts school.

PandaEis Thu 22-Jul-10 10:56:40

i basically started a thread a few days ago about exactly the issues that are being discussed!!

my DD is 4.8yo and wetting the bed every night. she starts reception in september and i was hoping she would be dry at night by then. the advice i have been given is pretty much to stop trying as she isnt ready. are there any more things we can do to help her to be dry at night or is it a case of use pull ups until she is ready??

i was a late starter being dry at night and made to feel a failure as my siblings were all dry by age 4 or so. i was about 9-10 iirc so might there be a hereditary link??

thanks smile

AlaskaNebraska Thu 22-Jul-10 10:58:03

I would like to knwo what JEnnis qualifications are to be " an agony aunt" are

Sidge Thu 22-Jul-10 11:05:21

Call me cynical but surely working for DryNites (who make night time nappies) does not make you the best person to advise on nocturnal enuresis?

AlaskaNebraska Thu 22-Jul-10 11:10:03

well apprently she is an expert in er.. talking
"life strategist, coach and agony aunt,"
"popular corporate spokesperson "
she was some record execs right hand for a few years hmm
shes done dinner doctors
toddler taming
shes been old and grumpy although claims to be neither ( pays well does it?)
a relationship expert
SHIT is there NOTHING she doesnt know about?


is " studying" to become a magistrate - well she either IS one or isnt.

MN - you are patronising us

Sidge Thu 22-Jul-10 11:14:29

Reminds me of the Billy Connolly live show where he was talking about 'experts'.

Hilarious grin wish I could find it on YouTube.

scrappydappydoo Thu 22-Jul-10 11:29:39

Well ok I'm going to ask a question - nothing to do with bedwetting though...

DD is 4 and due to start school in september. We have just moved to a new area 2 months ago. She isn't coping well - we've had tears, tantrums, uncharacteristic bad behaviour, night terrors everything - just today we were driving somewhere and I had to endure 20 mins of her saying how much she hates our new house, new town, everything and its all my fault I ended up in tears too feeling like the worst mother in the world.
To top it all off there is uncertainity about her new school - our local one is full and she has been allocated one quite a drive away as a result we are planning to move her when she gets a place which will probably 6-8 weeks into term so she will start at one school and transfer (there are lots of valid reasons for this and its not a decision we have taken lightly).

So do you have any advice as to how I can help her settle? and coping strategies for me as well so I feel less like an emotional punchbag.

Sorry for long post thanks for listening

GreatGooglyMoogly Thu 22-Jul-10 11:33:11

DS2 (4.6) is dry at night 3/4 of the time. Should I take him out of pull-ups or does he need to be completely dry first?

Beattiebow Thu 22-Jul-10 12:18:01

ok, I do have a question here!!

My dd who is 5 started school last sept. After being dry at night for years, she started wetting the bed in the summer holidays just before school. All fine really (well not, but we did realise it was due to stress/anxiety maybe). Anyway my question is this..

we started putting her in pull ups to save the washing. She has NEVER weed in her pullups. Not once. Every so often we forget to put her in them, or she insists she will be ok, and guess what, more often than not she wees. So what can we do? She will go weeks without bedwetting and then as soon as she is without a nappy she wets. I would like to wean her off the nappies - not least because she wants to go to bed without them, but also because they are quite pricey! What can I do?

grannieonabike Thu 22-Jul-10 12:27:32

Fivegomad; Hope someone who can help answers you. Alaska is right - Jenni might not be an expert.

I was going to ask if it would help to leave her knickerless for part of each day (what I would do for potty training)? But I think it is more a question of dealing with the anxiety.

Good luck.

FiveGoMadInDorset Thu 22-Jul-10 13:05:45

Thank you Grannie, I am clutching at straws here, the paediatrician doesn't think that it is emotional, I do and have told the HV but we seem to have been abandoned.

Coca Thu 22-Jul-10 13:27:17

Hi Jenni,
My dd2 is 6 and has recently started wetting the bed. She has never had any issues like this, potty training at 2 was so easy and she went straight to sleeping without nappies too. She is happy at school and I don't think she has any other problems. When I asked her why she didn't go to the toilet she either says she couldn't be bothered or that she is scared to walk to the toilet. We keep the landing light on and the loo is right by her bedroom door so I don't really understand, also if she needs the loo why not call for me? Could bedwetting just run in the family? I started wetting the bed suddenly at 7 and it lasted for a couple of years.
Sorry long and rambling post.

pinkfluffyworld Thu 22-Jul-10 13:58:23

Hi, my younger daughter was 4 in March, and was dry during the day by 2.5. Her big sister was dry at night before she was 3, however DD2 is still in a pull up - she wants to get out of them and so I put her to bed without, but then sneak one on around 10pm.
The problem is that she does not wake up when she wees in the bed - she quite happily sleeps through the night and wakes up vaguely damp but smelly!
A friend has told me that apparently there is some sort of hormone they need to stay dry through the night - any advice?


AlaskaNebraska Thu 22-Jul-10 14:42:27

this is ludicrous
we are asking someone who knows as much about potty training as ME ( and hey at least i am published on the issue wink) for SERIOUS medical advice

scattyspice Thu 22-Jul-10 14:47:20

Don't ask then.

StealthPolarBear Thu 22-Jul-10 14:50:41

Unless they're at boarding school what difference does going back to school make if they're still wetting at night?

OK, I have a practical question for anyone - what do I need for DS's bed? A waterproof mattress protector with a sheet on top?
Was going to double up on that so if he does wet them I'm just stripping the top layer off and the bed's still made up, good idea?

StealthPolarBear Thu 22-Jul-10 14:51:52

go on Alaska - you're published?? I'd be interested to see it - can you CAT me?

(Or are you SWMNBN? The contented little pooers book?)

AlaskaNebraska Thu 22-Jul-10 14:55:44

ho ho cest moi
le poisson
in the mn book of course!

tvaerialmagpiebin Thu 22-Jul-10 14:57:21

ERIC message board very useful for people with questions on this.

ERIC = Education and resources for improving childhood continence

StealthPolarBear Thu 22-Jul-10 14:57:27

Oh I see, thought you meant you'd written a book of your own blush
Still bored btw

coventgarden Thu 22-Jul-10 16:20:54

SPB - I have a soft mattress protector, then a waterproof one, then the sheet and on top a pad. Works well for us.

StealthPolarBear Thu 22-Jul-10 16:23:09

thank you What's the point of the soft one under the waterproof one? I have one but would have put it oin top confused

coventgarden Thu 22-Jul-10 16:43:12

The soft one would just get wet and soak through so having to wash 2 sheets, my way you only have to wash the one.

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