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Do you think this is rude?

(36 Posts)
Gobbledigook Sun 21-Aug-05 16:19:12

FIL is here this weekend - he's asleep. Whenever he visits he sleeps in the day, then he'll fall asleep at tea time then he'll nod off in front of the TV at night.

I just think it's a bit rude to fall asleep if you are a guest. He's not played with the boys at all - they are in their playroom playing together or playing outside but he doesn't join in. He watches tv, reads or sleeps.

I just don't see the point.

colditz Sun 21-Aug-05 16:20:56

How old is he? Old people often have a hard time staying awake after a meal, they can have reduced circulation anyway, and a heavy meal diverts yet more blood to the stomach, leaving the brain feeling very drowsy.

Gobbledigook Sun 21-Aug-05 16:23:37

59

But he's asleep even when he hasn't eaten - like now.

Maybe it's just me! I wouldn't let myself fall asleep in company.

colditz Sun 21-Aug-05 16:27:12

59? I'd poke him with bits of lego.

Or make a comment about how you understand that it's because he is an elderly man now.

I thought he was about 70, but at 59, it's quite rude!

Gobbledigook Sun 21-Aug-05 16:34:14

Will get the boys to give it a go!

Just not sure why he would visit for the weekend if he isn't going to interact with the boys.

cod Sun 21-Aug-05 16:35:01

Message withdrawn

myturn Sun 21-Aug-05 16:36:14

Lol at poke him with lego! Sounds like my dad - he sleeps all the time. He's just not interested in children unfortunately, or in anything else really.

colditz Sun 21-Aug-05 16:36:59

at that age he has probably never had much to do with children in his life. My dad is 51, andignores my son except when my son climbs on him.

Saying that, he's never here long enough to fall asleep

Gobbledigook Sun 21-Aug-05 16:39:38

LOL Cod! He's got a belly but he's not massive.

You see, my Dad would play with them a little bit and talk to them and pick them up for a cuddle. I'm not saying he spends all day doing stuff with them, he doesn't, but he'd spend some of his time focused on them. If he comes round and they are having tea, he comes and sits at the table with them for a chat but FIL sits in the other room.

myturn Sun 21-Aug-05 16:41:16

Perhaps he is just not comfortable with children GDG, but feels he should put in an appearance sometimes. Still does seem rude - I don't think there is any excuse really.

juice Sun 21-Aug-05 16:43:28

i think it is rude. he really aint that old is he. my fil is in his 70's and he wouldnt fall asleep visiting us and speaks to dd.
get the kids to make lots of noise to wake him up

Tommy Sun 21-Aug-05 16:45:19

my FIL always falls asleep at our house as well. My DSs sing "It's raining, it's pouring, Grandad is snoring..."
Get yours to jump on him and demand a game or story

Gobbledigook Sun 21-Aug-05 16:45:42

myturn - I know he did very little when dh and his sis were little. It was all down to his Mum and Nan.

hunkermunker Sun 21-Aug-05 16:48:25

I'd get the boys to poke him.

JoolsToo Sun 21-Aug-05 16:50:09

Nah! leave him - he's better off asleep - he doesn't do anything when he's awake anyway!

nutcracker Sun 21-Aug-05 16:54:19

My dad is 58 and when we visit on a saturday he always falls asleep.

I suppose it is a bit ignorant really but we love it as the kids take it in turns then to either, draw on him, tip water over him or balance things on his head

Gobbledigook Sun 21-Aug-05 17:01:14

Love it nutty - maybe I should go and suggest it!!

Bumpyroad Sun 21-Aug-05 17:02:17

Could you arrange to visit him somewhere public? I always find that my dad will actually play with our children if we are at a play-ground or mini-golf but that at our house (or his) he is too lazy...

Gobbledigook Sun 21-Aug-05 17:04:13

Bumpyroad - when he's here, he and dh will take them to the park and then of course he has to chip in with watching them, pushing swings so you are right there. At home he's useless and just plonks his big arse in a chair.

It doesn't help that I am a complete work horse and never stop and I cannot stand laziness!!!

Bumpyroad Sun 21-Aug-05 17:08:14

I hear you... Sorry that my suggestion is not much help. Thankfully, my parents aren't round often and PIL are brilliant with our children! They actually come up with activities to do with them like fishing; building bird-houses; going on treasure hunts etc. MIL will actually play cars on the floor for hours.
Too bad she is so nasty to me.

Caligula Sun 21-Aug-05 17:28:27

Why don't you just leave him alone and let him sleep? What harm is he doing, the poor old sloth? He's not masturbating in his sleep is he? (I'd find that rude!)

He probably doesn't think he's a guest, he's a family member and that's why he's entitled to nod off at the drop of a hat. Maybe he's ill? Or bored? Or just bone idle? But as long as he's not knocking back the whisky, breaking the furniture or annoying the neighbours, I'd leave him be. He doesn't sound like he'd be exactly scintillating company if he made the effort to stay awake!

Caligula Sun 21-Aug-05 17:31:10

And yes he is rude, but you're allowed to be rude to your family. (He's not farting all the way through as well, is he?)

JoolsToo Sun 21-Aug-05 17:40:33

spot on - oh horsey lover - scintillating he's not!

moondog Sun 21-Aug-05 18:04:40

Yes,I do think it's rude. FGS,he's not ancient! I bet most close women relatives of the same age wouldn't dream of doing it. Blokes sometimes reckon that their mere presence is all that's needed.

(Mind you gdg,my bil and sil do this! They're only early to mid 30s. Jeez!!!)

spacecadet Sun 21-Aug-05 18:08:26

my dh falls asleep if we go visiting and hes only 37, now that is rude!

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