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deck of cards.............

(9 Posts)
almostanangel Thu 19-May-05 13:23:38

once there was a mum who worked hard with the house work and dhs and kids until she found mumsnet!! one day dh said the mum ,,you have really let the house and kids and me down, your on there 24/7 and when your not your playing with that darn deck of cards!

i am going to dicorce you! and in the divorce lawyers office the lawyer said hun im gonna take your house away from you and all your money for letting your dh and all your kids down!

what do you have to say for yourself? with this she took out her pack of cards [her dh hid his face in shame]



"You see Sir, when I look at the Ace, it reminds me that there

is but oneMN. And the Deuce reminds me th the website is divided into two bits

the menu of threads and the active ones....... when i see the three

i think of my main chatees swiper mars and champs

and when i see the four i think of the time on the clock i rush about making it look as if i have a least made the beds before dh comes home.

when I see the Five, it reminds me of the five empty coffee cups next to me on the table[growing mould]

Six, it reminds me that in six days, God made this great heaven and

earth. When I see the Seven, it reminds me that on the seventh day, God

rested from His great work. and made mumsnet! And when I see the Eight, I think of the

eight children i have let down not fed not washed and not taken to school for a month [and 5 of them arnt mine heaven knows where they came from] and when i see the nine i see the number of days my parcel has been on its way and not arrived and when i see the ten i see the commarndments that the threads on here prove are broken every day! when i see the king it reminds me of wayne the bloke my dh has to see a lot since ive found mn and when i see the queen it reminds me of a certain stange mumsnetter
and when i see the jack it reminds me of what i will need to get my ars* of the chair!

the numbers on a deck of cards add up to 365, the number of days in a year. im on mumsnet

There are 52 cards, the number of weeks in a year. There are 4 suits, the

number of weeks in a month. There are 12 picture cards, the number of

months in a year. There are 13 tricks, the number of weeks in a quarter. found this all out on a how clever am i thread!

So you see, my pack of cards serves me reminder, an Almanac and a kick up the arse to get a life and get off mums net


"And friends, the story is true. I know, I was that mumsnetter





to this the lawyer said.............................well nothing actually SHE was on her laptop watching a very intersting thread!"

swiperfox Thu 19-May-05 13:35:51

pmsl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You're a bloody nutter

almostanangel Thu 19-May-05 13:37:32

lol i guessed my swapper ner ner ne ner enr!

almostanangel Thu 19-May-05 13:39:08

dont ya love it dont ya

swiperfox Thu 19-May-05 13:47:49

I thought it was going to be this one:

'A woman once said a man is like a deck of cards.....

You need a Heart to love him
A Diamond to marry him
A club to smash his f*ing head in
And a Spade to bury the b*ard!!!

almostanangel Thu 19-May-05 13:53:21

oh me is far to innosent to do that one

almostanangel Thu 19-May-05 13:53:22

oh me is far to innosent to do that one

champs Thu 19-May-05 16:07:40

PMSL!!!! aaa you funnybunny

almostanangel Thu 19-May-05 17:53:49

once there was a mum who worked hard with the house work and dhs and kids until she found mumsnet!! one day dh said the mum ,,you have really let the house and kids and me down, your on there 24/7 and when your not your playing with that darn deck of cards!

i am going to dicorce you! and in the divorce lawyers office the lawyer said hun im gonna take your house away from you and all your money for letting your dh and all your kids down!

what do you have to say for yourself? with this she took out her pack of cards [her dh hid his face in shame]



"You see Sir, when I look at the Ace, it reminds me that there

is but oneMN. And the Deuce reminds me th the website is divided into two bits

the menu of threads and the active ones....... when i see the three

i think of my main chatees swiper mars and champs

and when i see the four i think of the time on the clock i rush about making it look as if i have a least made the beds before dh comes home.

when I see the Five, it reminds me of the five empty coffee cups next to me on the table[growing mould]

Six, it reminds me that in six days, God made this great heaven and

earth. When I see the Seven, it reminds me that on the seventh day, God

rested from His great work. and made mumsnet! And when I see the Eight, I think of the

eight children i have let down not fed not washed and not taken to school for a month [and 5 of them arnt mine heaven knows where they came from] and when i see the nine i see the number of days my parcel has been on its way and not arrived and when i see the ten i see the commarndments that the threads on here prove are broken every day! when i see the king it reminds me of wayne the bloke my dh has to see a lot since ive found mn and when i see the queen it reminds me of a certain stange mumsnetter
and when i see the jack it reminds me of what i will need to get my ars* of the chair!

the numbers on a deck of cards add up to 365, the number of days in a year. im on mumsnet

There are 52 cards, the number of weeks in a year. There are 4 suits, the

number of weeks in a month. There are 12 picture cards, the number of

months in a year. There are 13 tricks, the number of weeks in a quarter. found this all out on a how clever am i thread!

So you see, my pack of cards serves me reminder, an Almanac and a kick up the arse to get a life and get off mums net


"And friends, the story is true. I know, I was that mumsnetter





to this the lawyer said.............................well nothing actually SHE was on her laptop watching a very intersting thread!"


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