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Groan...

(5 Posts)
Sidge Thu 22-Jan-09 19:02:43

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was fined for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the cricket ball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his mother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

20. A backward poet writes inverse.

21. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste for religion.

23. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

Sniggerdoon Thu 22-Jan-09 19:04:36

This is a mercy post, nothing more.

LadyOfWaffle Thu 22-Jan-09 19:08:10

Is it wrong to laugh? grinblush

Sniggerdoon Thu 22-Jan-09 19:18:35

Sidge, are you currently tied to a chair?

Is there a five year old boy in charge of your laptop?

Sidge Thu 22-Jan-09 20:26:59

Well I laughed!

Sniggerdoon my FIL sent those to me. He's definitely not 5 grin

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