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simple jokes needed for my 7 year old ds to use in talent show ...

(64 Posts)
pepsi Wed 04-Jul-07 10:22:53

DS7, who is mild aspergers, has put his name down to do the school talent show, he wants to tell jokes, trouble is he doesnt like any of mine and his current one he made up.....Why did the body cross the get his head, wont I think get any laughs. He loves trains and animals so anything along those lines great. He likes knock knock stuff and why did the xxx cross the road and what do you get if you cross a xxx with a xxx sort of thing. Come on make me laugh!

AnneJones Wed 04-Jul-07 10:32:01

How does a cat go down the motorway?


(ach that joke takes me back....)

My currrent fave is: What's ET short for? He's only got little legs.
(if kids know ET these days...)

Also a deep reservoir is the "what do you call a man...?" style - eg What do you call a man with a seagul on his head? Cliff! What do you call a girl standing in the middle of a tennis court? Annette! Etc etc.

aDad Wed 04-Jul-07 10:37:09

What's the loudest pet?
A trumpet

ludaloo Wed 04-Jul-07 10:39:31

Whats Orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot

jura Wed 04-Jul-07 10:44:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nailpolish Wed 04-Jul-07 10:47:46

why cant an elephant ride a bike?

cos he doesnt have a thumb to ring the bell

pepsi Wed 04-Jul-07 13:45:02

I like the one about that cat on the motorway.

geekgirl Wed 04-Jul-07 13:46:13

what do jellyfish get when they get married?


KezzaG Wed 04-Jul-07 13:47:23

whats brown and sticky
A stick

LaylaandSethsmum Wed 04-Jul-07 13:49:51

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Atish who?
Bless you have you got a cold?

purpleduck Wed 04-Jul-07 13:56:37

knock knock?
who's there?
dwayne who?
dwayne the tub!! I'm dwowning!!!

knock knock?
who's there?
dr who!!!

knock knock?
who's there?
boo who?
there's no need to cry about it!!!

And the one on Chris Moyles this morning
"what do you call a one eyed deer?
No eye deer (no idea)

good Luck to your son!!

lemonaid Wed 04-Jul-07 13:57:03

Who is the world's greatest underwater secret agent?

James Pond

pepsi Wed 04-Jul-07 13:57:08

Ah yes, remember the Atish who one now, excellent.

BettySpaghetti Wed 04-Jul-07 13:58:44

Knock knock

Who's there

Interrupting sheep

Interrupting sh....


purpleduck Wed 04-Jul-07 13:58:49

Oh!!! Pepsi, is your son's joke a variation on the "why did the skeleton cross the road? get to the body shop!!!!"

you gotta love the jokes on wotsits!!!

Debbiethemum Wed 04-Jul-07 14:01:57

What do you call a dinosaur with 1 eye
D'yuthinkhrsawus (Do you think he saw us)

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes
Cantofsawus (Can't of saw us)

Debbiethemum Wed 04-Jul-07 14:04:18

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
So they can hide in cherry trees
Do you ever see elephants in cherry trees?
No -
Must be a good disguise then

Debbiethemum Wed 04-Jul-07 14:05:12

Whats red and invisible?
No tomatoes

yorkshirepudding Wed 04-Jul-07 14:07:03

Message withdrawn

MamaMaiasaura Wed 04-Jul-07 14:07:49

Where do cows go on a saturday night??

To the MOOOOOOOOvies

wurlywurly Wed 04-Jul-07 14:08:06

why was the sand wet??

Because the sea-weed.

SquareSausage Wed 04-Jul-07 14:11:39

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick

Whats brown and quacks?

Donald mince

Did you hear about the guy who was found dead in an ice-cream shop.

He topped himself

saffy202 Wed 04-Jul-07 14:37:44

Why wouldn't the crab share his sweets?

Because he was a little shellfish!

Ds1 entered this joke a few years ago into a competition run by Adams and won it and they printed the joke on their labels.

Mellin Wed 04-Jul-07 14:54:52

What's a funny book about eggs called?
A yolk book

HullaBalloo Wed 04-Jul-07 15:01:22

Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 7 8 9 !

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