...feel a bit of a failure due to the reasons why.
I'm an only myself and always swore I would have at least 2, even to the point of getting DH to agree to considering adopting a 2nd child if we were unable to conceive naturally a second time.
Then I had DD. Pregnancy was far from brilliant, labour etc hideous and followed by colicky little madam and PND.
But mostly I just feel deep down that I do not have the patience or selflessness to cope with more than 1. DD is now 4.6 and I love her more than anything but find motherhood such hard work. She's very bright and missed school by just a fortnight last year which makes her very demanding of my time and attention. I just find it so relentless - I've always been able to have my own space whenever I want it, and have treasured that - now it's a miracle if I get to go to the loo on my own! End result is that I feel frustrated and ratty with her a lot of the time, then feel so guilty.
DH is not interested in having any more and DD is perfectly happy being an only. I just feel a failure as a woman (sorry to sound melodramatic - can't think of another way to put it) that I am so clearly not cut out to be able to cope with more than 1 child.
I know of lots of other people with just one, but all my close friends who I see regularly have at least 2 so no-one I can really talk to.
Not sure what I am expecting anyone to say, but have been feeling really unhappy about it lately and just needed to get it off my chest.
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25 replies
womblingfree · 13/03/2009 00:37
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