I have a 13 month old dd and don't know whether to have another as there are so many reasons why I can't and it is really upsetting me. DH is hinting at another child but I am resistant for the reasons below but I would appreciate honest opinions about the matter and other people's experiences. I am a name changer in case DH sees this.
1, DH has debts of nearly £40,000. He reckons he should get it all paid off (he has 2 jobs) in 5 years, I really doubt it.
2, I had PND and an awful pregnancy
3, dd was not an easy baby
4, my mother watches dd whilst I work and has said she will not watch any more as she's getting older. I don't want to pay for childcare, nor do I think we could afford it.
5, I hate my MIL and she hates me so she is not an option for childcare. She also works full time. her parenting ideas are cruel imo. long story though
6, I have disabilities and it was a real struggle to cope with dd/housework/work/etc as a result, I really think 2 children would break me.
7, DH and I split up several times during pregnancy/afterwards and although we are trying hard, I really don't think our marriage would survive another baby.
8, it is so LONELY. It is hard to get to mother and toddler groups when I work and also when I have disabilites - other mums avoid me and I feel like a terrible mummy cos dd is not making friends.
I don't know what to do. I always wanted 3 babies but now I have had one, I know that I simply wouldn't cope. Even when dd is older, I don't think it would make a difference. It wouldn't be fair on dd or the new baby. I wasn't a nice person last year and I don't want to go back to that. I am crying whilst I type this, I dont want DH to hate me or for dd to hate me when she is older...
I am actually really angry and hateful towards DH right now. I feel like he is putting pressure on me.
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Not sure I want another and now feel guilty...
2 replies
APerson · 10/03/2009 14:24
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