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Happy to have an only but now I'm expecting another

(5 Posts)
nissa Mon 12-Jan-09 20:45:09

I have a dd (8) and we have been very happy by ourselves. I was utterly convinced that I'd never have another due to medical / social issues and never felt cheated etc.

I am now 25 weeks pregnant and expecting a boy. I am kind of excited about this but worry an awful lot about the impact on our lives. This baby wasn't at all planned and the pregnancy has been harder then my other one was.

Do you think it's normal to feel a little resentful on how things are going to be different? Do you think this will pass once the baby is born?

I worry about so much this time around and although my daughter is thrilled I am so concerned that she will have to make sacrifices now. I strongly felt I could give her my all and provide everything she needed but now I'm terrified!

How do you think you'd feel?

PuzzleRocks Tue 13-Jan-09 09:19:22

I am pregnant with my second child. I think these are perfectly natural concerns whether you planned a second child or not. Try to think of all the things you daughter will be gaining by having a siblng rather than any perceived negatives (there really aren't any). Many congratulations.

Umlellala Tue 13-Jan-09 09:35:23

Our second was very wanted but we found the first few weeks v difficult. LOVE having two now and oh wow, when you see your firstborn loving your baby.... aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhwwwwwwwwwwwww. Didnt think it was possible but we are a family full of MORE love!

drivinmecrazy Tue 13-Jan-09 09:49:00

I actually found it really hard to go from the three of us to four. DD1 was 4 1/2 when we had DD2 3 years ago and i still struggle. Dh loves the gynamics of a family of four but I still miss the three of us. I miss having that one to one time with DD1, especially now she is 8 and great company.
I know that my DD1 still resents her sister at times, especially if we can't do something because DD2 is too little to join in, or play a game because DD2 will wreck it.
I found the dynamics of an only child so much easier to deal with. As a family i felt so much closer when there was just DH,DD1 and I.
Having said all of that, DD1 has since told me she was quite lonely before sister. When they do get along it is lovely to hear their laughter when they play together.
TBH I think most of my difficulties come because DD2 is so energetic and active. DD1 is very calm and peaceful to be around, complete opposite to DD2.
Although I truly love DD2 with all my heart, I don't feel the intense emotions I do for DD1 but thats my problem not hers.

deste Fri 16-Jan-09 22:56:08

I had 8.5 years between mine and they were very close. The elder DS was overjoyed to have a sister and they never argued or fought, it was perfect. They would still be close if it wasn't for his fiance who was jealous of the closeness.

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