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bored, cant do this for long

(12 Posts)
Mumlikeu Fri 09-Jan-09 23:26:19

There are times i love being a single mum. And others i absolutely hate it. I feel so alone when my DS goes to sleep. And that is usually around 8pm. I have no like minded friends to even socialise with. Its just draining. I find it even worse at weekends. Sorry for having a moan, but i just want some advice in how to make this work. I usually go on the net, read, listen to music and as a christian read my bible and spend some time with God. In the week maybe not so bad as i know i need to be in bed earlier to get up early for the morning run. But as its the weekend, i think, ok let your hair down... but with no one to share it

flutterfree Fri 09-Jan-09 23:49:24

I spent some evenings doing the same as you. (spent time on internet, rubbish tv) It is isolating not having another adult to talk adult talk to.
Try a childrens centre set up by surestart...I get their monthly newsletter for my area and i noticed that they are doing some activities at weekends now, for anyone with kids, grandparents, LP, 2 parent etc. These are usualy at a really reasonable price or free. I also thought about voluntary work as a family with N trust, forestry commission etc. but my 2 are still babies so absol out of question! camping caravanning club member for weekends?? wild suggestion!! Yes i get to church on a sunday, i really enjoy it. My family are not nearby so can't pop in. Can't help with any other advice just to say yes others out there and know how it can feel. And on a sunnier note.... hey summers not too far off...we all feel better for the lighter evenings. God bless.

amandathepanda Sat 10-Jan-09 08:00:44

Mumlikeu = I'm sorry for your predicament. You might get more replies if you post this in the Lone Parents topic. As a mum of an only you are very welcome here, of course, but for this specific problem you might get more ideas on the other topic.

Best of luck.

teafortwo Sat 10-Jan-09 08:15:37

Mumlikeu - hello!

Do feel free to pop into the tea room where we chat, drink far too much bolly (darling!) and help each other through any sized problems big or small that pop up in life!!!!

I think you'd like it... and the tea room would like you!


2sugarsandapuppy Sat 10-Jan-09 08:23:20

I really don't think it would make much of a difference if you had a partner. Mostly, the stuff you have to do is repetitive, boring and mind-blowingly dull. That's what comes with the job. A friend and I were thinking about joining a salsa group. Now, that's the last thing that would have been on my 'wants' list 10 years ago, but that's how desparate we've got. Appreciate I have a H who can look after dd's should we decide to do it though. Have you any friends nearby/neighbours who could babysit for you.

It's mindcracklingly dull, I agree. xx

2sugarsandapuppy Sat 10-Jan-09 08:24:31

And do you go to Church? Met some lovely fellow mums there, much in the same predicament.

Racingsnake Sat 10-Jan-09 08:54:13

I agree that having a partner doesn't really improve the evenings. Stimulating witty conversation over glasses of red wine only happens in books. However, you might well find some here. Although there doesn't seem to be anyone there at the moment. Try this evening.

BoccaDellaVerita Sat 10-Jan-09 14:04:39

I'd reiterate the invitation to the tea room. There's nearly always something going on there in the evening (and often at lunchtimes). Sadly, I'd have to agree with racingsnake that having a partner doesn't always mean spending the evening engaged in scintillating conversation. It can mean sitting on separate sofas while one watches five different episodes of CSI and the other plays on MN and facebook. So please drop into the tea room.

How old is your child? Do you go to playgroups or school? I know it's not easy, especially if you're shy, but perhaps you could try to find some friends there or at church, so that you could go out together. If you took the initiative in recruiting people to a cashless babysitting circle, you'd probably get lots of takers!

I hope things get better for you.

teafortwo Sat 10-Jan-09 17:44:33

mumlikeu - there are Nigel Slater chocolate brownies in the aga and champagne in flutes in the tea room - we are hoping to share them with you tonight...

Acinonyx Sat 10-Jan-09 17:54:34

''It can mean sitting on separate sofas while one watches five different episodes of CSI and the other plays on MN and facebook.''

It's not just us then?

I totally crave to go OUT of the house at night. Unreasonable I know. Sometimes I put a CD on while cooking tea and get quite jolly and really in the mood to go OUT. Then it all just fizzles away as usual - bedtime routine, TV/pc/work, bed.

It does get boring.

BoccaDellaVerita Sat 10-Jan-09 19:53:30

Acinonyx - come and have some champagne with us in the tea room. wink

Acinonyx Sun 11-Jan-09 12:18:42

I might do - but I spend waay too much time on here already!!

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