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The One and Only Tea Room: Tea, muffins and champagne served at all hours

(963 Posts)
BoccaDellaNativita Thu 11-Dec-08 21:38:32

Well folks, here we are!

We were on the brink of filling the old thread so I thought we'd better start a new one now. There was a rumour that we were going to be evicted from our old premises, but we managed right at the last minute to get an extension on the lease. So it's business as usual. We're still in our charming old tea room, overlooking our beautiful garden complete with ha-ha and duck pond. And Mellors the gardener.

Please come and join us for a celebratory drink.

<<Looks for the corkscrew.>>

girltalk Thu 11-Dec-08 22:12:20

is this a private club or is anyone in need of sanctuary allowed to play?

JacksFirstChristmasMama Thu 11-Dec-08 22:21:57

<JM charges in, Jackbaby (as usual) perched on hip (Jackbaby waves excitedly and puts his head on his side flirtatiously, showing off newest skill)>
WHOO-HOO, we didn't get evicted!!!!

<Grabs bottle of champers invitingly chilling in non-Cath-Kidston champange cooler, pops cork, hands glasses all around>

Bocca, put away the wine, Bolly is much more appropriate to the occasion!

Welcome girltalk (hands over glass of Bolly) - this is definitely not private, anyone in need of sanctuary is more than welcome!! Let me briefly introduce the usual suspects the regulars:

Bocca, who took over tearoom management from MadBad, when MadBad suffered a concussion and was stretchered away to the MumsNet Home for the Bewildered.

And in no particular order:

daisy99divine (err, poinsettia... whatever), cmotdibbler, teafortwo, and me - I'm the resident colonial Dominican Dominatrix ermm, mum from Canada.
Then there's rebelmum, and a bunch of others who pop in frequently.

Please be aware that in the tearoom, no-one is required to put on a brave face or educate and entertain. We're all friends here and if we're feeling blue we let it all hang out. And most importantly, unlike the rest of MN, (((HUGS))) are very much approved here!

<JM dances around the room, gulping delicately sipping champers, singing "We didn't get evicted, we didn't get evicted...>

TheQueenSpeach Thu 11-Dec-08 22:24:35

Hello. I've sort of seen the previous threads but can't quite work out why we need our own tea room. Sorry to ask difficult questions. Or is it just an excuse to be sociable? smile

girltalk Thu 11-Dec-08 22:29:55

Sorry but they serve booze and are clearly mad - that's good enough for me!

JFCM pass the Bolly & here's a bottle of pink Champers to put on ice!

DontCallMeSantaBaby Thu 11-Dec-08 22:35:42

Has the whispers aspidistra made it to the new premises?

CuddlyUnderTheMistletoe Thu 11-Dec-08 22:40:57

What happens if you are a single mum of only one dc and you still don't do fecking (((hugs)))?
Am I barred?

cmotdibbler Thu 11-Dec-08 22:45:10

Nah. We are too drunk merry here to bar anyone. It's just that due to the amount of booze consumed here, we do occasionally get overemotional and do hugs (note lack of brackets) when medicinally needed.

Please note however, that at the least sign of hunness, Mellors may be requested to remove you to the compost heap to consider things.

girltalk Thu 11-Dec-08 22:48:45

I'm new to MN - what's "hunness" just in case I were to fall foul of it.

cmotdibbler Thu 11-Dec-08 22:54:01

Tricky - you prob need someone better at explaining it, but imo 'hunness' is the kind of 'awwww, hun, u need a (((((hug)))))' kind of thing - like you get more on <whisper> Netmums for instance. MN is mostly free of it, although the For Sale section used to be rife with it

CuddlyUnderTheMistletoe Thu 11-Dec-08 22:57:03

Well I definitely do drunk, in times of stress I can offer empathy and easily, sympathy, I just don't do hugs.

Would it be acceptable for me to offer ((supportive pat on arm)) instead?
It's my upbringing you understand.

BoccaDellaNativita Thu 11-Dec-08 22:57:25

<<Polishes the leaves of the aspidistra and adjusts its midget Christmas decorations, some of which got dislodged in the non move>>

This is very definitely not a private club and it's fantastic that some new customers have already wandered in.

TheQueensSpeach - Well, we needed a tea room when the topic got embroiled in heated arguments about whether there should be a one child topic at all and whether, in celebrating what's good about being a one child family, we were implicitly criticising families with more than one child. So the tea room was our shelter from the storm. Now, I s'pose, we don't need the tea room in quite the same way, but we want it as a place to be sociable.

On another thread I tried to sum up the tea room's history:

The tea room's main purpose is to provide somewhere calm to sit down, drink lovely drinks, scoff delicious cakes and generally chat. There is only one house rule, which is no fisticuffs. The following are optional but very much encouraged:

* wearing of modish hats or fascinators

* wearing of Mary Jane shoes

* bringing cocktail recipes to add to our evening repertoire

* sharing as much or as little as you wish about what led to you having an only child or about anything else going on in real life

* contributing things for the tea room Christmas craft sale

* choosing background music for the cocktail parties

* dancing under the glitter balls at our occasional tea room discos

Cuddly - the hugs usually get sent only to those people who've indicated (by word or deed) that they wouldn't be adverse to a hug. Shall we add

* all hugging should be consensual (this should also protect Mellors from the advances of tipsy housewives)?

<Bocca tops up everybody's glass and ransacks the larder looking for some more twiglets.>>

girltalk Thu 11-Dec-08 22:59:34

Oh well that's all right then - no chance of me doing that! I'm more of a "Oh FFS", type that tea & sympathy.

To be honest I was really surprised at the whole one child v more kids debates on this section. You guys seem to be the only ones without some kind of axe to grind that's why I thought I'd pop in....Plus the drink of course.

BoccaDellaNativita Thu 11-Dec-08 23:02:48

I too am a bit inhibited about (((hugging))). I really have to screw my courage to the sticking place to do it. (((Supportive pats on the arm))) sound just the ticket!

And as for the statement that we are mad. Just because we consume vast quantities of champagne and prance around the tea room late at night wearing fascinators - and turn a blind eye to the resident guinea pig, who is slowly but surely removing the stuffing from the tea room's antique sofa to line its nest - doubt has been cast on our mental health. How very dare you.

girltalk Thu 11-Dec-08 23:05:19

Here's my contribution to the festivities. My DH makes me a wicked cocktail:
1 shot Vodka, I shot Cointreau, ice, squeeze in half a fresh lime & top up with Cranberry juice. Doesn't have a name, is just referred to as one of his "specials" in our house. Enjoy.

BoccaDellaNativita Thu 11-Dec-08 23:11:21

Sounds good!

<<slumps into the aspidistra>>

CuddlyUnderTheMistletoe Thu 11-Dec-08 23:26:06

That all sounds perfectly acceptable especially the fascinators...
I can do fascinators with fandango!

christmasteafortwo Thu 11-Dec-08 23:32:50

Hello old friends and new - TheQueensSpeech, cuddly and girltalk do stay a bit the disco is starting - first song is a dedication for Queenie...

BoccaDellaNativita Thu 11-Dec-08 23:38:30

<<Bocca regains consciousness, disentangles her fascinator from the aspidistra, throws back her shoulders and struts onto the dance floor.>>

Well, we did say this was a party.

christmasteafortwo Thu 11-Dec-08 23:53:46


and cuddlyunderthemistletoe...

Not very dancy but nice to hug to after an evening of Bocca's cocktails... but obviously only if you want to!!!!! wink

And for everyoneelse....

because I am not sure what a champagne supernova looks like - but I have a feeling it probably looks quite like this....

CuddlyUnderTheMistletoe Fri 12-Dec-08 00:33:02

Oh by gosh...Oh by golly. Thank you ChristmasTeaForTwo.

On the subject of muffins, I made some fabby banana and museli muffins recently. A definite hit with ds.

Not necessarily a good match with bubbly though.

For my contribution to the dancing may I request the following for TheQueenSpeech...why the hell not?


BoccaDellaNativita Fri 12-Dec-08 00:47:11

Christmasteafotwo - Excellent choices, although I fear the Gallagher brothers' behaviour is a tad (ahem) unruly and may lead to them being the first people ever to be barred from the tea room.

<<Slightly furtive>>

Cuddly - are you, perhaps, a fan of the immortal Francis Albert Sinatra? <<hopeful>>

<<Bocca throws some 1970s shapes to Abba, as her musical tastes are nothing if not catholic. Then, having pulled several muscles, Bocca hobbles off to bed.>>

CuddlyUnderTheMistletoe Fri 12-Dec-08 01:33:26

Bocca, Frank was handsome, suave, debonnaire and his voice was a joy, I enjoy all the tracks I have heard of his but he retired before I was born and I do not class myself as a fan.

Have a nice hot bath and ease those muscles - I have similar repurcussions after an Oasis session so tend to avoid unless it's been dry for a while.


JacksFirstChristmasMama Fri 12-Dec-08 02:52:25

Hi Tea!!! Pass me that fascinator, will you? Thanks!
<repeatedly tries to flick fascinator feather out of eyes, gives up, tosses fascinator on top of the aspidistra>

Oh... I see my favourite plant has followed us? I thought I composted the bloody thing ?hmm

Hi The Queens, cuddly, and everyone else!
And BTW, you don't need to hug anyone or be hugged if you don't want to. I prefer hugs myself (Daisy gives good ones), sympathetic pats are acceptable, but, warning, if I'm having a fragile day, "og FGS" type answers tend to make me try to drown my sorrows in the nearest alcoholic beverage!! (This would be why the tearoom's booze bill has been sky high lately...)

And, no... no axe-grinding here. We've had a few rowdies (from other threads, Bocca tends to get quite stern with rowdiness in the tearoom) but they haven't come back. grin

JacksFirstChristmasMama Fri 12-Dec-08 02:57:36

Oh and I'd quite like some of girltalk's DH's special cocktail - and to show off my gorgeous John Fluevog Mary Janes - they are cerise with lavender heels and straps!!

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