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I'm genuinely interested, so please don't flame me....

(8 Posts)
sorkycake Thu 06-Nov-08 13:46:52

what are the specific issues of parenting only one child?

Now I know you've had a bit of hoo-har on various threads regarding one thing or another, that's honestly not what I'm here for, just to get that straight

I'm on the larger families topic and there do seem to be a good number of issues that we discuss, BUT I can obviously see them because that's my situation.

There was a thread which called for both topics to be taken away and that got me thinking about what would be the issues specific to parenting an only child?

I really struggled to think of any I'll be honest, but this isn't my situation, so I thought i'd ask you lot.

sorkycake Thu 06-Nov-08 13:53:53

Actually I didn't see the rest of the threads all bashing you, it doesn't matter, there's enough..... erm... debate going on.

julesrose Thu 06-Nov-08 13:57:24

sadness if you can't have more than one and family doesn't feel complete
worry that only will be spoilt or develop other problems - empathy, sharing etc
future - dealing with parents illness / death on his/her own
dealing with other peoples perceptions - that you're selfish for having only one
dealing with only's sadness at not having siblings to play with
holidays, christmas
is that enough. I'm sure there are more.

madbadanddangeroustoknow Thu 06-Nov-08 14:18:30

other practicalities - ensuring the child is not lonely or bored etc

trying very hard not to be a 'helicopter parent' but to allow the child to go off-radar occasionally

sorkycake Thu 06-Nov-08 14:36:34

thank you for that

sorry you've all been a bit bashed recently.

oggsfrog Thu 06-Nov-08 16:34:31

I did say I would hide this sodding topic blush

A child with sibling(s) can whisper together about silly/stupid/cruel Mum and Dad.
An only child can feel 'ganged up' on when being disciplined.
An only can feel very lonely, especially if like us you live 10 miles away from the nearest village/friends.
An only child doesn't get the chance to fight/verbally spar with a brother or sister.
They don't get the wonderful feeling of sharing a secret.
Their activities are solitary ones.
Their chance for play and pretend is less, unless Mum or Dad join in.
Onlies look to their Mum and/or Dad to play games/occupy them.
If you have a brother or sister you can play together.
An only can feel sad about the fact they don't have a brother or sister.
An only doesn't get to whisper to their sibling after 'lights out', or have midnight feasts or have competitions to circumnavigate the bedroom staying off the floor smile.
No-one to share the blame with.
No older sibling to bully you. No younger sibling to bully.

Cicatrice Thu 06-Nov-08 17:10:48

It can be difficult for onlies to know how to deal with rude aggressive kids, if they spend most of their time around adults. Kids with siblings get used to fighting and saying the most awful things to each other, which just used to leave me gobsmacked as a child.

Of course people grow out of that, and as an adult when people are subtley bitchy, I am well equipped to deal with it having spent my formative years at my granny's knee listening to the stiletto thrust. No good against "You smell of poo", though.

madbadanddangeroustoknow Thu 06-Nov-08 20:02:24

My only sometimes is that rude aggressive (I prefer to think of it as assertive) kid blush

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