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This photo made me sad

(13 Posts)
refx Sat 30-Nov-19 20:20:53

Just looking through magazine and I see this..

Feeling very sad that my ds is an only. He is happy and I hope does not have any indication of my feelings. I feel like I've failed him. I'm an only and I was happy and still am but my parents couldn't have any more kids but wanted lots. I don't feel like I've missed out but even if I have it wasn't their fault.

My ds is an only because I thought I didn't want any more because it was hard and we struggled but then as he got older changed my mind but at that point I was a lot older too. I tried recently fell pregnant but had emergency surgery for an ectopic. I'm now too scared to try again and also was already too old! I feel really guilty that I've made this choice for him. I know this is irrational because I've also given him lots of benefits in terms of time with us and opportunities and money

But when I see this type of thing I wish I had it! And he had it

☹️

Haworthia Sat 30-Nov-19 20:27:06

Those children aren’t siblings. It’s all fake grin

My two children fight like cat and dog every day.

StoorieHoose Sat 30-Nov-19 20:31:46

If that photo was real I can guarantee that 3.2 seconds after to was taken they would be hitting each other one would be crying and another one would be in the huff.

I have an only and she is very well adjusted and has never asked for a sibling

slipperywhensparticus Sat 30-Nov-19 20:34:41

To get a picture like this you need to shout threaten and eventually lose the will to live

3boysandabump Sat 30-Nov-19 20:38:01

I take photos like that every Xmas and then they all go back to throwing insults at each other and telling me how they wish they were an only child!

han01uk Sat 30-Nov-19 20:38:10

The one second that was that photo,is counterbalanced by the other 10 million of them arguing...honestly!

iklboo Sat 30-Nov-19 20:41:41

They're paid models. I'd pretend to be a happy sibling for money.

I'm an only and loved it. DS is a very happy only. DH is one of five and hated it.

sleepyhead Sat 30-Nov-19 20:42:53

Ds1 screamed at ds2 this afternoon that he hated him and wished he'd never been born sad. There's a large age gap and I felt so sad for ds1 that I couldn't give him a sibling.

He'd been sorely tried beforehand. Ds2 is VERY different from him and winds him up endlessly. Things are really tough at the moment.

Occasionally we have the picture, but honestly? Ds1 would probably have had a better life as an only. I'm hoping they'll get closer as they get older.

refx Sun 01-Dec-19 08:06:28

Thanks for replies

Sorry to hear it's tough @sleepyhead

What's the age gap?

We would have 7 years if we tried so not great

I know it's all just the idealised side of it not the reality ...

VashtaNerada Sun 01-Dec-19 08:11:58

There are pros and cons either way. I think it’s okay to have the odd moment when you imagine what life might be like if things were different, but at the end of the day they’re not so you can go back to enjoying what you have! I’m always slightly in awe of people with one child because they always seem to do such nice things together and spend lots of quality time. It’s really quite rare I get to go on a nice outing with just one of mine, they’re always together.

Eminybob Sun 01-Dec-19 08:26:45

Enjoy having got to the other side of the sleepless nights and toddler tantrums.

I have a 4 year gap between mine, and that was the hardest thing for me, having to do the whole baby thing again when things had gotten so much easier and we were starting to get our lives back as DS1 could sleep over at grandparents and give DH and me a night out.

Also, I have a few friends who were only children and they had lovely childhoods, and are well rounded adults. I grew up hating my brother and we barely talk these days.

sleepyhead Sun 01-Dec-19 10:20:28

It's a 6.5 yr gap...

I've posted before saying things were fine - its just particularly difficult at the moment with puberty coming up against obstreperous 6 yr old who's struggling at school.

I'm glad we have ds2, but if you want another it has to be for their own sake not as a sibling to avoid an only.

BooseysMom Wed 04-Dec-19 20:55:41

@refx.. i felt sad too when I opened that pic..but cheered up loads when i read about the reality of more than one! I'm sorry to hear of your ectopic. I'm in a similar place as you as i have one DS who is 6 and we wanted another but i had him at 41. It took a year for AF to come back and i was constantly knackered, then just as you start to feel like you're regaining your sanity and can sleep again, the old body clock is going mental screeching it's now or never! Well it never happened and i'm 47 now and have to face facts. I'm too scared to try now more than ever. But responses here really help.

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