Hi,
I had DD in my late 30's (it took several years of trying).
We spoke about maybe another when DD started nursery and childcare costs would be cheaper but when she went off to nursery I talked myself out of it due to wanting at that time to go back to work full time and pick my career up, DD still not sleeping through and my mum being elderly and although she helped out a lot with DD knew she would struggle to help out with another child.
Instead OH built up his business (which sadly he got bumped last year and so his building it up again) and I went back full time.
When DD was almost 5 I got pregnant but sadly it wasn't meant to be and so we got on with life happy with our family of 3.
Every so often I would think I'd like another but aware of the age gap realised they wouldn't be "best of friends " growing up and so focused on giving DD the opportunities we didn't have ie plenty of activities, trips with friends, holidays etc and believed I was happy with this choice until last week.
Last week DD had a friend come for tea and sleep over from one of her activities and listening to them playing upstairs and giggling half the night and seeing how happy DD was with her friend I'm now feeling awful and wishing I'd said as soon as DD was born lets try for another.
Had we had another DD wouldn't be able to do half the things she does and wouldn't have all the friends outside of school friends and when I was made redundant I would have had to look for full time work rather than now being part time and taking and picking DD up from school every day but I just can't stop thinking about how cruel a mum I am for not giving DD a sibling.
For a while now I've had niggly thoughts that we should have had another but don't know if this is because DD is becoming more and more independent (9 now) because I'm going through perimenopause and so my hormones are all over the place, my mums also recently been diagnosed with a long term illness or because I really do regret only having one and see DD happy when she is with other children.
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25 replies
mummy1mummy · 25/10/2019 12:18
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