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5 year old Separation Anxiety

(2 Posts)
somanyquestions19 Wed 16-Oct-19 12:54:20

Hi everyone!

I have joined here as I'm literally getting desperate.

I have a 5 year old dd who is in year 1 at school. Her dad and I have not been together since she was 3 years old and on my days when I take her to school she cries as she says she doesn't want to leave me.

She is absolutely fine when anyone else takes her, whether it be her dad or grandparents.

She has always done this, all the way through nursery, reception and now year 1 but has just recently started crying when she has to go to her dads. Again she says that nothing is wrong it's just that she doesn't want to leave me.

The teachers say she is fine once she is in the classroom but they literally have to peel her off me and it's really beginning to get me down. I cried all the way to work today.

When I ask her why she doesn't want to go she just says that she doesn't want to be away from me.

The girls in her class are in a bit of a click and in the morning tend to huddle together and never invite my daughter to join in. My daughter does tend to play with the boys during the day as well.

I feel like I need to speak to the teacher again even though we end up just repeating what we have already said.

Any advice would be great.

I have shared care with her dad, he does shifts which means we can't do set days which I say is no good for her routine but he's controlling and won't accept that. I am now considering getting my parents to take her to school on my days as we literally can not continue like this.

Just more background, she's quite a confident child and the teacher says she's quite boisterous but shes also quite sensitive.

Really at a loss with this so any ideas at all would be a massive help.

BooseysMom Sun 08-Dec-19 20:01:40

@somanyquestions19.. hi, i have just found your post and seen that you haven't had any replies. I'm sorry you're going through this with your DD. It must be heartbreaking. As you say she's fine when others take her to school, it sounds to me that she's doing it to try and get a reaction out of you and as you'll already know, you have to say bye have a lovely day, etc, kiss her, hug her and walk away and keep walking which is the hardest part. It's really tough and I think girls are harder than boys to some extent. The teacher just needs to support you and distract her when separation time comes. I know how hard this is. I remember it with DS. He was not yet 2 when i left him at a nursery for the first time..he screamed and tried to get to me when i went to the door. I felt physically was horrible. I managed 15 mins then had to go back. I couldn't leave him at that age as he wasn't ready. Then i waited a few more weeks and found a pre school that was perfect and he didn't cry or scream when i left and i felt much more relaxed. I hope i haven't offended in any way with what i have advised and wish you all the best x

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