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I wish things had been different

(13 Posts)
wonderingwillows Sat 14-Sep-19 16:50:35

I love my only dc 7 who is a happy sociable chap

However he seems increasingly dissatisfied with being on his own at home with dh and I even though we try and play with him

We have a house and garden full of toys but he would much rather be on his iPad

I feel sad about this when I visit my friends with larger families and the siblings seem to just be playing hide and seek and football. I suppose it's just not fun to play with adults

We do lots of play dates and activities but I feel so guilty that we didn't try harder for another child earlier. We tried recently but it ended in miscarriage and I don't think I can put myself through that again

Any words of wisdom?

Knittedfairies Sat 14-Sep-19 16:56:50

Your son could have half a dozen brothers and sisters and he still might prefer the iPad; siblings don't always get on... Try to stop feeling so guilty - and definitely stop idealising larger families.

Penguincity Sat 14-Sep-19 16:57:43

Plenty kids don't get on with their siblings. If you had another child, the age gap would make it unlikely they would play together lots. Encourage friendships with other only children, I find sleepovers happen a lot more with other onlys ( I didn't encourage friendships with only's but have noticed ds has more sleepovers with other only children)

TwigTheWonderKid Sat 14-Sep-19 17:04:45

I have two and, much to my dismay, the only interaction they have is when they are trying to kill each other.

I'm an only child and I think there are many advantages to it if you look for them. Just make sure you give him plenty of opportunities to see his friends (I think my friends liked visiting my house as it was much quieter than theirs) and when he is a little older you can let him take a friend on holiday with you.

Sadly it's pretty normal for many 7 year olds to prefer an iPad over other stuff...

wonderingwillows Sat 14-Sep-19 18:40:07

Thanks for the replies

I know I am probably idealising larger families and sibling relationships . I also know that even if out last attempt had been successful ds would have not had a playmate because of the gap and in fact he may well have hated it after 7 years of not sharing us
It's nice to hear that even 7 yos with siblings are obsessed with tech more than other things. That makes me feel better @TwigTheWonderKid

Just having one of those days. I should feel grateful for what I have been blessed with .. which is amazing and not hanker over what might have been.,

I guess the grass is always greener isn't it!

TwigTheWonderKid Sat 14-Sep-19 22:05:54

I had my second child because both DH & I are only children and without aunts, uncles and cousins I was worried about DS1 being all alone in the world if anything happened to DH and me (I was orphaned at a relatively young age). Sadly, I think DS1 would probably have been much happier being alone!

But I'm guilty of looking wistfully on Facebook at friends' photos of their children growing up with lots of cousins and feeling sad my DC have never experienced that kind of relationship.

TwinsetsRus Sat 14-Sep-19 22:17:58

DC is an only child of an only child and yes they are lonely. I’ve tried the inviting friends round. School holidays are especially hard as when you ask friends round your told Oh sorry we have family days out planned - which is totally understandable.
It maybe a case of the grass looking greener on the other side. I’ll never know.

Mumoftwoyoungkids Sat 14-Sep-19 22:28:14

My two also often prefer to be on their iPads. Except they have now had their iPads taken away for hitting each other.

sheshootssheimplores Sat 14-Sep-19 22:48:12

I completely understand OP.

Two things to make you feel better
1) I have two and both much prefer their tablets over each other
2) I have a sibling and we have nothing to do with each other at all. Can’t stand each other.

My DP is an only and very happy. Not bothered at all.

wonderingwillows Sun 15-Sep-19 08:11:28

Thanks for responses
Feeling better today!

Maybe it is an age thing for dc. He seemed happier playing by himself or us when he was younger

I know what you mean about family days out. On weekends too most of his friends are doing things with family or visiting grandparents so after his activity clubs he is just with us

We have tried to be fun(!) but he doesn't seem to find us as fun anymore!

Rachelover60 Sun 15-Sep-19 08:27:29

I only had one, nearly forty now! He had and has lots of friends so plenty of fun. Yours will too.

wonderingwillows Sun 15-Sep-19 17:30:52

Thanks @Rachelover60 I hope my ds is happy. I think he is!

I just need to stop feeling guilty'

Thehouseintheforest Sun 15-Sep-19 17:44:02

Is having another not an option ? My 81 yr old mother is still pissed off her parents couldn't 'put themselves out' ?

I've got three partly due to her horror of being an only !

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