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(4 Posts)
PODW Mon 15-Apr-19 13:47:28

Obviously have chosen this thread, so please don't take offense to my own PERSONAL questioning of my OWN personal situation. I'm not judging others I just want advice.
Does anyone else ever question whether they're being selfish only having the one?
I question constantly whether, when something happens to me, is it fair that my 3 year old only has herself? No siblings ...
I know it sounds ridiculous but, am I being selfish just because I don't think THINK I want anymore .... she might miss out on the bond of siblings? I have 2 sisters & sometimes I don't think it's helpful, others I think "god how would I have managed without sisters".
Anyone?! x

RDMummy Mon 15-Apr-19 19:27:14

I have struggled with this, but know I can't have another baby just to give my DD a sibling. I think that's sensible, not selfish. The thought of pregnancy and doing the baby years again really doesn't appeal. Would also be bad for my mental health, and my DD needs me to be well.

I also hope that DD will have a family of her own and good friends to rely on when we are gone. I have two siblings, one I'm close to and one less so. Not for any particular reason, just the way it's turned out. But in a time of crisis I would rely on my DH to get me through.

Completely understand you wanting the best for your DD of course, but need to think of yourself too. She'll be fine!

MinnieMountain Sat 20-Apr-19 20:09:34

Having a sibling is not necessarily for the best. I wouldn't have missed any of my 4 (then again, I'm DC2, so tricky).

We chose to have one and now I can't have any more as I'm on medication which causes birth defects. Oddly I have been feeling guilty about it recently as DH has had a vasectomy.

Sometimes I wonder "what if?" ( I had a MMC when DS was 2 and we decided not to try again).

However, the original reasons of balance for all of us, finances and the fact I got terrible anxiety still stand. None of those would be outweighed by how well DS would get on with a hypothetical sibling.

It's a tricky one tough. Particularly if 1 DC is not the norm in your social circle.

MinnieMountain Sat 20-Apr-19 20:09:52


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