Empty nest...or about to be!

[JaneS68]

Hi, im struggling with empty nest syndrome...hes not technically left home but tonight is his 2nd time (1st time a few days ago) that he has said he isnt coming home but staying with his gf (new relationship)...we have been through tough times the last few years and i feel like ive lost a friend...crazy i know..im quite sad really..am i being silly????

[LightDrizzle]

You can’t control your feelings so YANBU, you would only be U or silly if you let those feelings govern you and attempt to emotionally blackmail him into staying tied to your apron strings.
He’s not your friend, he never has been, he’s your darling son who is now grown up. Support him but let him be independent, and there is every chance your relationship with him as an adult will be an unexpected joy.
Meanwhile, try to nurture your friendships with peers and develop any interests you may have parked a bit while bringing up your family.

[JaneS68]

I disagree with the friends comment. We have been friends. We have always been honest and open with each other. Hes not tied to my apron strings. Hes quite independent. I just feel like i cant protect him anymore...x

[BooseysMom]

@JaneS68.. I'd feel exactly the same. Mine is only 5 and just last night said he's going to stay with me forever! I said I'll record you saying that and play it back to you when you're 17! I know i can't hold on to him forever but like you say the instinct to protect is so strong and never leaves you. I expect I'll be an emotional wreck when he does finally leave home. But all you can do is give him a good solid basis, teach him how to look after himself and give him wings. Good luck x

[NameChangerAmI]

the instinct to protect is so strong and never leaves you

How old is you DS, OP?

It's lovely that you're so close, and I believe that when your children get older, you can be both a mum and a friend.

I've just come on here to say that it does get easier,

My DC1 has left home. I don't feel the instinct to protect her at all, because I know she is living a happy life. So I think the instinct to protect can lie dormant, but it would rear it's head without a thought if she was in danger or unhappy or vulnerable!

Hang on in there. These feelings and the situation are new, but it will get easier.