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Overthinking or failing...

(3 Posts)
Pixiedustandluck Tue 26-Mar-19 21:56:08

My lo is an only child and at the tender age of three years old.

But this feeling of failing is becoming an everyday battle. I’ll explain by saying I am in a very happy coparenting relationship with lo dad. So good in fact that dad will often stay the night with lo at or home. But at the moment lo is going through a testing age, she is constantly anger and having the biggest meltdowns over anything and everything. Today she cried and screamed she hated me and didn’t want to be my friend anymore, because I said she had to share her toys with her cousin (who is 3 months older) she throws her toys and screams and stomps on the spot if she doesn’t get her own way. It ended up with her being very upset and me regretfully telling her that her behaviour was making me very sad and she needed to behave like a good girl. Which I now literally feel heartbroken that I said that.
This behaviour seems to have come out of nowhere, so I began questioning everything, was she getting the right amount of nutrients in her food, enough time to socialise with children (she goes to preschool every afternoon during the week) which then made me think does she feel anxious at preschool although her keyworkers say she is fine, does she now feel unloved.

Because of the new behaviour, I’ve had to start the naughty step. (We never had this before because honestly, we never really needed it) so now am I discipling her the wrong way or too sudden.
I’ve spoken to lo dad about this and he said three years can be little monsters at times and I’m being too hard on myself. But I just don’t think he gets it. Any opinions would be grateful.

snarfblatt Tue 26-Mar-19 22:01:55

Fellow 3 year old owner here and it sounds totally normal! Frustrating but normal. Don't beat yourself up - you're doing a great job and it's positive that you have such a good relationship with the dad. Be kind to yourself, set boundaries and be consistent - this is just a phase and will pass. I hope!

CoachBombay Tue 26-Mar-19 22:28:19

Owner of an only 4 year old going on 14 and 5 in the summer.

It will pass, it's a phase. I will praise you and say you are far calmer than me. I ended up with "the confiscation box" a large plastic box with a lid and when DS used to throw a tantrum about toys life in general, the way the wind blew?! I would confiscate a toy till he apologised for his behaviour, and the toy came out of jail.

I gave up on the naughty step after DS poured flour all over my kitchen because he was angry I wouldn't give him chocolate, and then shouted at me "I'm going to my step for 5minutea because I want too!" 🙄

Your doing great, honestly. It's tough time and I'm so glad you have good support from dad. He is right, it's a phase and it passes. Be firm, stick to your guns and it will pass.

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