What to do - one child and contemplating further fertility treatment

[ditherdorothy]

Hi all. I had my little boy 5 years ago after years of unsuccessful TTC and eventual ivf - we were very lucky it worked first time. I have loved the last 5 years and always hoped to try for more - I got 10 frozen embryos from treatment.

BUT I've had health problems over the last few years, we love our family of three, finances are better than they've ever been and we've got a great work-life balance sorted. I had one failed FET last year and am about to have another but feel sick at going through this again - the drugs, the side effects, the emotional turmoil. I want someone to make the decision for me about what to do; ridiculous as no one can! OH is happy to try one more time but then thinks we should call it a day and accept what we're lucky to have.

I'm 37 so technically could keep having treatment using frozen embryos for another few years yet. My head wants to stop but my heart won't let me! I love what we have now but equally can't bear the thought of giving up on the dream of having a second baby. Then at other times I feel like it's just a bit of broodiness about babies due to my DS getting older, but all babies have to get older!

Sorry for the rambling, just wanted to put my thoughts down. How do you make the decision to stay as a one-child family?!

[fortunatepiggy1]

Sorry to hear you are struggling with this. I am too but I have not taken any steps to ttc number 2 and have only just started to think about it being a good idea because I am almost certainly out of time but I think that's my hormones talking as I have gone back and forth on this issue for a good few years and I think had I really really wanted to I would have done. There has always been something holding me back and now when it's too late I am thinking why didn't I try earlier!

I suppose it's the decision being taken away from you that's hard to deal with. It's easier if you at least think you have options

Im sure it's even harder when you have to deal with all the side affects and emotional turmoil you describe .

I think we would be happy either way and therefore there is no right answer but I too wish someone would make the decision for me! Or that I had a crystal ball

Good luck

[UnaOfStormhold]

I found the book Parenting your only child very helpful - it challenges some of the myths/guilt and explores different motivations for wanting another child.

[ditherdorothy]

Thanks fortunatepiggy1 - all the very best for your journey too. It's so hard isn't it to know what to do for the best - I waited four years for first fertility treatment after having my little one and wonder if some of that was subconsciously me putting it off (I told myself it was down to my health issues which is probably only partly true).

Thanks too UnaOfStormhold - I actually have that book on my amazon wish list - just not bought it yet!