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One Kid Households

(37 Posts)
justanotheruser18 Thu 17-May-18 20:03:43

I have one; he's only a baby... growing fast, but still a baby, for now. He is so busy, so explorative and so demanding of my time. I love it; I love exploring the world with him but I can't imagine having the energy to do this with more than one kid.

My home is quiet and peaceful. I need it this way and even with a busy little one, it's still a fairly calm place.

Is liking the quiet a reason to have only one kid? Does more than one child mean a noisy home or not necessarily? Am I selfish for not wanting to give my child a sibling because being a mum is hard?

Laceythesheep Sun 18-Nov-18 00:16:50

Having just one is fine. When my lo was a baby a complete stranger shuffled up to me and said ‘an only child is a lonely child’.

I have since discovered this is a load of tosh and no matter how many children you have, someone will feel they have a right to tell you you’re wrong.

Tryingtogetitright Sun 18-Nov-18 00:32:07

I have two and while I adore them both I think I was a much better Mum when I just had my DS (4). Now I have my DD (18 months) as well I am constantly shouting, rushing, chasing my tail and I feel like a terrible mother. I was patient and kind before DD was born. They have a lovely relationship which I am very grateful for as if they didn't get on I think it would be a million times harder. But I do feel like DS was much happier and better understood before and I feel constantly guilty. Hoping it will improve as they get older and I do adore my DD. I think you are wise to stop at one if you are unsure about two and I secretly sometimes wish I had.

yappity Sun 18-Nov-18 11:27:06

Thanks for sharing this

I did not have a second for all of the reasons you state but I constantly think what if and worry whether I've made the right decision

I feel quite sad about it tbh so reading this helps

Glitterbug76 Thu 07-Mar-19 00:12:17

Might be a bit late to join in , I have one dd and had a m.c 3 years ago and do want to try again. Have no neices / nephews or siblings neither does oh. In my forties now I can't shake this want / need for another in my heart wander if it's because I can't so makes you want something more.

Glitterbug76 Thu 07-Mar-19 00:13:04

Sorry meant don't want to try again

BooseysMom Mon 11-Mar-19 20:36:49

@Glitterbug76.. I've just found your msg as it was still in my active list. I know just how you feel. I'm 47 and have one DS who is the greatest love of my life. We ttc for a few years but havd resigned ourselves to it not happening now. We had DS at 40,.nearly 41, so knew we were pushing it. It's a hard door to close x

Farmerswifey12 Mon 11-Mar-19 20:39:57

I have 3 and my home is never quiet, but that's the way I like it. Interestingly, I feel it's because I was an only and had a small family with hardly any cousins and they lived far away. I had a lovely childhood and I'm very close to my parents, but did feel a tad lonely.

Farmerswifey12 Mon 11-Mar-19 20:42:06

Just realised this was an old thread hmm apologies!

I should add the upside of being an only child was also that I was given experiences that my parents simply couldn't afford if there had been more, all their love affection time etc went straight to me. As I said we are still very close to this day smile

Thesnobbymiddleclassone Mon 11-Mar-19 20:43:10

My DD is 5 and we've just had a second DD.

It's an age gap I recommend to anyone.

You still get the quiet one child days and when the eldest has gone to bed.

VelvetPineapple Mon 11-Mar-19 21:13:31

What if you have another and they hate each other or your second child has additional needs and the first one ends up in a carer type role?
These are two of the main reasons I don’t want another child. My DF has to care for a disabled sibling and it’s ruined his life but he feels obliged to do it. It breaks my heart to watch him struggle. I won’t risk my DS ending up in that situation. Plus as others have said, I’m exhausted from the first child and my body is enough of a mess without making it worse. If my first had been an easier child I might have been tempted.

Glitterbug76 Mon 11-Mar-19 22:11:07

Thank you for your message boosey
I think the hard thing is when you can't have any more you dont have a choice like it's been taken away from you if you want another. my dd asks me every day for a baby sister or brother. Im sorry if this isn't relevant to this post , but if I could have another I would in a heart beat my mum was one of 13 still all close x

BooseysMom Wed 13-Mar-19 14:21:38

@VelvetPineapple...that sounds a v hard situation. But he sounds like a gem. Bless him for doing so much to help. I'm 47 and my main worry is what you describe. Maybe it's better to be thankful with one DC.

@Glitterbug76.. it is a relevant post so don't worry. It sounds like you are very sad about your situation. May I ask why you can't have another?.. Wow.. your mum is one of 13! I'm so sorry about your DD asking every day. That must be tough. Girls are more caring so it's natural I guess. Have you any pets? I know it's not the same but it might ease it a little. Our DS never wants a brother..he knows who rules the roost! But I'm worried he'll turn round one day and say why hasn't he got a brother or sister. We tried for years but I'm 47 so am all out of hope

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