Advanced search

If you thought you would just have just one child for a long time did you change your mind?

(54 Posts)
fortunatepiggy1 Thu 12-Apr-18 08:18:22

And if so how do you feel now?

There are lots of posters struggling with the decision of whether or not to go for a second

Lots of previous posters have also started threads on this.. can you share with us what you decided and how you feel now?

MummEE2 Mon 25-Mar-19 10:06:20

I have an 11yo DD and my DS is nearly 5 months old. Huge age gap. My DD pretty much grew up as an only child until I changed my mind and decided I want another one or will forever regret and wonder 'what if'. I'm glad I had another one. My DD is happy she's not the only one anymore and loves having a sibling. It's ok to have just the one but for us it's worked out nicely. I also have to say if I'm honest it's been a completely different experience having my second child. Perhaps it's because I'm older now. I'm enjoying everything more than I did when I was younger and had my DD. And my DD is a fantastic helper

MumUnderTheMoon Sun 16-Dec-18 01:37:58

My daughter is almost 12 and I haven't wavered in my decision since I made it when she was one. Before that I thought I might like another and investigated adoption as I didn't want to get pregnant again but in the end I decided that my dd and I were a great wee unit as we were. She's a thoroughly happy only child and doesn't lament the loss of any hypothetical siblings.

fortuntatepiggy1 Sat 27-Oct-18 20:54:32


Time has made the decision for me I fear. I have dithered too long and now it's too late. Dh is not keen.. feels we are too old and age gap too big but I think would be perfectly happy if it did happen....we have half heartedly tried but nothing has happened . I feel better that I have at least tried ( even thought I haven't really) that absolves some responsibility I think!

I am very happy with our perfect family but I will always wonder what if...

sabrinathethirtysomethingwitch Thu 18-Oct-18 14:17:59

@fortunatepiggy1 hi OP. What did you decide?

fortunatepiggy1 Fri 07-Sep-18 16:30:03

Good luck Abbie with whatever you decide

abbie7 Thu 06-Sep-18 18:10:19

I'm not 100% yet but we've decided we might start trying at the start of next year! smile I feel like it's been a bigger decision deciding whether to have a 2nd than it was having a 1st!!!

fortunatepiggy1 Thu 06-Sep-18 17:58:07

So are you going to go for it Abbie?

abbie7 Wed 05-Sep-18 18:27:39

I never thought I'd have any and got pregnant young with my DS. I said I didn't want any more after I'd had him, and only changed my mind in the past couple of months!

fortunatepiggy1 Sat 01-Sep-18 20:37:47

Thanks for all the responses on this thread

Made me feel like constantly thinking about it like I do is not as mad as I thought

fortunatepiggy1 Sun 29-Jul-18 19:07:03

Re-reading this as having a reflective day! Good advice Shelik!

fortunatepiggy1 Tue 19-Jun-18 16:33:23

It's just so hard to close the door on it though isn't it ? I always thought I would have two children.... but the reality has been very hard and I haven't been brave enough to try for another until now so that must tell me something

I'm just not sure it's the right thing to do but I'm also not sure it isn't!!!

shelikesemwithamoustache Thu 14-Jun-18 16:21:58

I suspect, if you are so undecided, that whatever decision you make it will be the right one.

I never wanted kids particularly, got accidentally pregnant and went for it. 5 years later, after to-ing and fro-ing, had another one BUT sticking at one would have been fine too. I think the first would have been as happy as an only as he is with a sibling. I do know now that there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I would want another so perhaps the 2nd was the final nail in the coffin. Two is my limit and now I can't want for them to leave home!

What I'm trying to say is that if you don't feel a strong pull, I reckon you'll be as happy either way.

Cath2907 Thu 14-Jun-18 16:06:27

DD is 7.5 and I am nearly 41. I always said my "no turn back" mark was aged 40. I have extended it in my head to 45 but to be 100% honest there is no way I am having more kids. I am blissfully happy being mum to 1. DH doesn't want more, DD doesn't want siblings. The dog doesn't get a vote.

Sabulous Thu 07-Jun-18 20:20:07

If you're thinking about it every day I think you have your answer. And as long as your partner is on board, go for it!
We have always said that we only wanted the one child, since before DD was born, but at the beginning of the year we decided to try for number 2. We weren't sure if it would happen or not tbh, so we went for it! DD will be 6 when #2 arrives, and while I sometimes worry about how it will effect DD, as she's not into the idea of a sibling, I think we'll be ok smile

fortunatepiggy1 Thu 07-Jun-18 20:05:30

Gotakeahike. .. how have you found the gap of 7 years? was your older child ok? I am pretty sure we we will have to at least give it a go for me to make peace with my decision and let nature decide but I am scared of it not working and also of it working at the same time!

PasstheStarmix Tue 05-Jun-18 16:40:27


PasstheStarmix Tue 05-Jun-18 16:40:08

One child 15 months old and I have the back and forth question of will we have another everyday. Recently we have decided to go for it in the not too distant future. I’m still hoping it is the right decision though as I’ve had a rough ride first time around. It’s do exhausting! I have figured that two should entertain each other eventually meaning lie ins for me and dh and alittle ‘me time.’ With one it’s easier at first but with with two it maybe becomes easier over time I suppose.

Treaclepie19 Sun 03-Jun-18 15:12:23

We're in a similar boat... one child 2.9...
I can't stop thinking about having another but it would be a bad idea in terms of metal health. We have the money, space and love... it's driving me cuckoo.

fortunatepiggy1 Tue 22-May-18 08:08:17

Good for you justanother .. glad to hear you are happy with your decision

justanotheruser18 Mon 21-May-18 15:16:34

Well, I thought I wanted 4 children pre baby 1. Had baby 1, immediately knew I couldn't handle another. 9 months on there is no change in that department. Wish I could glimpse the future. I wonder if it'll stay this way. Our perfect little triangle.

BuntyII Wed 16-May-18 08:17:08

I was adamant I would only have one. DS is now 1 and I wish he had somebody to play with and have a special bond with. And I don't feel that I'm done. So we are having another.

fortunatepiggy1 Fri 27-Apr-18 08:02:37

I think thats it gotakeahike we will probably be happy either way.. I just can't stop thinking about it

Gotakeahike Thu 26-Apr-18 14:21:41

We have a 7 year gap through choice. We were very happy with one and where we were in life wasn't conducive to going through babyhood again. Until it was. Honestly, going though sleepless nights, diapers, toddlerhood, etc. has its challenges and I won't do it again, but I personally am able to cope much better this time. There is a benefit to being able to see that you've managed to raise at least a somewhat reasonable human for a number of years that allows you to better let things roll off your back. We couldn't imagine our lives without ds2 now. That said, although I wouldn't make a different decision, I think we would have been happy as a party of 3 as well.

mustbemad17 Thu 26-Apr-18 14:18:07

I always wanted 3 (i'm one of 3). Then i had DD & immediately said no more, for various reasons. Kept up that resolve until DD was 5 aaaand now pregnant with DS 🙈 i am excited, but i can actually say hand on heart now that this is most definitely the last one!!

GreenEyedGoose Thu 26-Apr-18 14:13:04

I thought we'd stick with one. I can remember people asking me when DD1 was 3 if we were going to have another one and I would reply, not sure. Which to me meant no as if I wasn't sure I shouldn't do it.

I did decide to go for dc2 as I wanted dd1 to have a sibling and of course was happy to go through it all again. Lots of people say on here giving your dc a sibling is no reason but it's a good enough reason as 'I had an urge for another one' confused

My family feels complete now. Dd2 is such a character and there was something missing that I hadn't realised until she came along.

There's nearly 5 years between dd1 and dd2 which for us has been perfect. But dd1 is a gentle soul and happy to play with dd2 who is obsessed with dd1 grin

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »